Chapter 1 'Leaving New York'

It's easier to leave than to be left behind
Leaving was never my proud
Leaving New York, never easy
I saw the light fading out
You find it in your heart, it's pulling me apart
You find it in your heart, change...

R.E.M. 'Leaving New York'

Carlisle POV

'Bella, there's one more thing I have to tell you before you leave. Esme and I are moving to Seattle. As you know, my eldest stepson and his wife are expecting a baby and we're going there to help them.' I said slowly, letting her digest the information. Rosalie was seven months pregnant now and someone had to run Virginia Mason Hospital instead of her. 'Doctor Taylor is taking all of my patients so maybe…'

'I'm moving as well.' she said with determination in her voice.

'That would be the third time you're moving in seven years. I don't mention that you've been coming to Boston every two weeks from NY, in spite of amazing neurologists there. You can't do it.'

'I can do whatever I want. Nobody cares where I live as long as I provide three books a year. Read my lips: nobody.'

'But you write for Broadway! Think about your achievements, you can't just drop everything.'

'How long?'

'What do you mean?'

'How long will you live in Seattle?'

'A year.'

'I'm ok with that. Andrew will understand. I can… come to NY twice a month. I mean, they don't need me all the time. They may be artists, but they can read.'

'Andrew?'

'Lloyd Webber. We're up to something right now.'

We sat in silence for a while.

'So, a boy or a girl?' she asked with a smirk.

'You'll find out later. Esme said you're coming for dinner tonight.'

'Actually, I'm meeting her in ten minutes so…'

'A boy. Here's your prescription.'

'See you in the evening, doc.'

'Bye, Bella.' I replied, but she was already gone.

I've known this tiny girl for pretty long time now, but she still knew how to surprise me. Well, she was a surprise herself. I had three stepsons, two daughters-in-law, exactly her age and despite less contact with them than with her, I still knew very little about her. Eight years ago in Seattle, her father brought her to me due to her headaches. Since then she hasn't left me for longer than a month. When she found out my wife and I were leaving our two eldest sons to be with Jasper in Chicago, she convinced her father she could finish high school there. 'It's only a year, dad.' she said. When I was offered a great job in Boston, she did everything to get a scholarship from Harvard in English. And she succeeded. Two years ago she had tears in her eyes when she told me she was moving to New York. But she never stopped coming. During this time she made friends with my wife Esme, our youngest son, Jasper, and his wife Alice. And that's it. No boyfriend, no other friends. At first I was really worried, not only as her doctor, but friend as well. Until I understood she was right, she didn't need anybody else.

My thoughts were interrupted by next patient entering the room. I had to focus, it was Esme's turn to worry.

Esme POV

I was sitting at Grotto, talking on the phone to my middle son, Edward, when Bella appeared.

'I gotta go, honey. My date's here.'

'You want to change husband again?' he laughed.

'Oh, shut up. Carlisle is the last one, I had to promise it.'

'Ok, Ma. I gotta go as well. See you next week. Love you!'

'Love you too! Bye!' I hung up.

When Bella ordered her lunch, I gave her a smile and started a conversation.

'So, how are you?'

'Good, thank you. Carlisle told me you're moving. I'm going with you, no matter what you think about it.' Oh, I forgot she never left things for later. And actually I was happy she decided to move as well. For me, she was like a daughter.

'Yeah, Rosie needs our help with a baby and Carlisle as her replacement for some time.'

'Turning Virginia Mason into a family business?' Bella joked.

'Kind of.' I smiled. She was right. All three of my sons were working there. And so did my two daughters-in-law. Luckily, none of them was a Cullen, so their relationship with my husband wasn't that obvious. 'But if I were you, I wouldn't count for Cullen Inc.'

'Yeah, rather some freaky acronym.'

There she got me. Each of my sons had a different surname, due to having different fathers. And Bella knew it. Despite she never used it against me, I felt she wasn't positive about my story.

'Then make one up!'

'Well, I only know Jasper and Alice. The Whitlocks.' she smiled. 'Oh, and of course you and Carlisle. The Cullens.'

'You'll meet The McCartys and Mr Masen as soon as possible.' I said, giving her a grin.

'Are the McCartys lucky parents-to-be?'

'Indeed they are.'

'Doc told me it's a boy.'

'Yeah, they want to call him Kellan after Emmett's dad.'

'That's nice of… Rose?'

'Rosalie, yes. She knows that Emmy misses his dad and… Never mind. Let's eat!'

After we finished food and had a coffee, Bella picked up where we left.

'Ok, so tell me more about them.'

'About who?'

'Those two of your children I don't know.'

'I can't! You have to make your own mind.'

'But you can give me some pieces of information. I want to be one step ahead of them.'

'Actually, they know a lot about you. At least Rosie and Emmett.'

'NO.'

'Yes. Anyway, Rosie is a director of the Virginia Mason and Emmy is running a café there.'

'What about…'

'Edward? He works at the lab.'

'Alice is hospital's lawyer, Jasper works as anesthesiologist and now Carlisle will join the gang. What about you? Will you redecorate it?'

'Thinking about it.' I laughed.

'Are you happy about it?'

'About what?'

'Going home. Having everybody around. Being a Nana.'

'Yeah, I am. And you?'

'I… don't know.'

'Charlie misses you.'

'He has this what's-her-name whore.'

'Don't call her this way, she's your stepmother.'

'Like in fucking Cinderella. She was there a week after mum's funeral. Regardless of the mourning, she slept with my dad.'

'Bells, you don't know that. Besides, he's your dad.'

'That cheated on Renee for years. Just because she was too ill.'

'You don't know that.'

'Oh, I do. You and I perfectly know he was over the cloud nine when I moved to Chicago.'

'So you're not happy about going back to Seattle?'

'I'll be more than glad to meet the rest of your family.'

'That's not what I'm asking about.'

'But that's my answer. And Esme?'

'Yes?'

'I'm sorry, but I won't be able to come tonight. I have to go back to NY and do… Stuff. Packing and… Theater.'

'I understand. See you in Seattle?' I smiled.

'See you in Seattle.'

To my relief, she smiled back.

Third-person omniscient

With four hours of driving ahead, Bella felt more than lucky to have eaten a big lunch, there'd be no reason to pull over now. Her monthly trip to Boston was getting more and more tiring every time. She took one of the painkillers Carlisle prescribed her and started the car.

'Damn snarl-up.' she murmured three and a half hours later, when a giant traffic jam stopped her. 'I'm half an hour away and what? Breathe, Bella. Breathe…' She took another pill and somehow got to Minskoff Theatre where she was to meet Andrew Lloyd Mebber and Laurent Cates, her current music writer and theatre director. As they went to Laurent's office, without useless small talk, Bella began.

'I'm moving to Seattle.'

'Wow, that's… Far away.' Laurent was surprised. 'I guess… Well, I guess I don't know what to say. I mean… You don't make decisions like that in five minutes. When did you…?'

'Today.' writer replied, but she was looking at Andrew, not Laurent. 'Andy, say something.'

'Don't Andy him now!' director yelled. She was his best writer, he couldn't let her go so easily. 'What were you thinking? That you can drop everything?'

'I won't drop everything, I'll be coming. Twice a month, maybe more.'

'Twice a month? TWICE A MONTH? That's not what I pay you for.'

'I won't argue with you, Laurent. There are few other theatres here that will hire me, even if I'm in Seattle.' she said, still not looking at the dark-skinned man. 'Andy, are you ok with that?'

The composer spoke for the first time since she announced the news.

'Is it about your health?' he whispered with seriousness in his voice.

'We can put it this way. Doc is moving. I have to follow him.'

'You two!' Laurent screamed. 'Look at me!'

'Bella, we can make it work.' Andrew said with a smile. 'Just stay healthy, will you?'

'That's why I go there.' she replied with a little grin.

'Ok, I'm sick of it. I am the director and I make decisions!' Laurent interrupted again.

'So make a decision to let Bella work in Seattle and just come here once or twice a month. After all, we all know how to use skype, don't we?' Webber assumed and took Swan's hand. 'Now, let's have something to eat, shall we, my talented princess? If you're leaving soon, I will need a lot of your company to miss you three hours after you leave, not immediately.' and they left to his office.

As they were having their lasagnas from Carmine's, Andrew started again the subject they dropped at Laurent's.

'So, princess, what did your doc say?'

'Nothing new. Besides, we are to talk about the brand new musical for Laurent.'

'Oh yeah, right, in a minute. You know, I don't know much about you. You never talk to me about your personal issues. But I'm not a fool. And I can recognize a disease when I see one.'

'I didn't know you are a MD, Andy.' she murmured.

'It's not the right time to be sarcastic. We all know you're in pain. Talk to somebody, Bella.'

'I did. Today.'

'And I'm a fairy.'

'I really did!'

'With a pink skirt.'

'I had lunch with Esme.'

'Esme? That's the most stupid name for an imaginary friend I've ever heard of.'

'Actually, she's doc's wife. And, oh, exists.'

'Yeah, yeah. Let me ride my unicorn to Alaska, I'll be right back.'

'You know what, that's why I leave NY.' Bella laughed. 'Your unicorn leaves rainbow shit all over the place. Now let's go back to work, ok?' And so they did.

Later that night, Bella began packing her stuff. She didn't have much. Not because she couldn't. All that archetype of young, poor, yet talented artist was never her thing. She was too talented to fail and her books were published while she was still at the university, so money was never a problem. No, this issue had more to do with her sense of fragility. Everything is fragile, she said every time somebody asked her about obvious emptiness in her apartment in SoHo. Stability, money, people, health, feelings, life itself. And for situations like that, with three days to move almost 3000 miles west, her philosophy couldn't have been better. All she needed could have been packed into two large suitcases, carpet bag and six boxes that would fit perfectly in her car. With a loud sigh Bella opened the first drawer and began throwing socks into the purple, floral box.

Six hours later all her books, clothes, photos, plants and cosmetics were in the trunk of her cassis pearl Toyota Sequoia and Bella was finishing eating some leftovers she had found in the fridge.

'Hope I won't throw up every two hours. That noodles weren't exactly fresh.' she said to herself and closed the door, leaving her New York life for at least a year.

But there still was one more thing to do and the girl was anything but happy to make that phone call.

'Oh come on, Bella. You're a self-confident, adult woman. Successful woman. It's just Charlie. Old sucker, who killed your mum. You can do it.' she whispered and dialed the number she hadn't used since last Christmas.

Charlie POV

'Fish or pasta?' my wife asked me when I came home.

'Fish.' I replied, locking my gun and taking off my jacket. When I got to the kitchen, a steaming dish was already on the table, waiting for me. I kissed Sue on the cheek 'You're an angel.'

'I know.' she laughed, when all of the sudden the telephone rang.

I picked up.

'Swan.'

'Hey… Emm… It's me, Bella.'

'Bells, good to hear you! Sue told me you called, what's up? We haven't been in touch for ages.'

'Everything's… Fine.'

'You don't sound fine and I know you're not. I wish you called me more often. After Renee died…'

'Char… Dad, do we have to talk about it now?'

'No, of course not.' I said, quieter. She called so rarely that I knew something happened. 'So, can you tell me what's wrong?'

'Nothing's wrong… Dad. I just… I'm moving back to Seattle and… I wanted to ask if you let me stay with you and…'

'Sue, her name is Sue.' I knew she didn't particularly approve on my remarriage and she didn't hide it. I knew if she called my wife a bitch again, I would hung up. And I didn't want to.

'I know. Anyway, can I stay with you for a week or two? Until I find something to live on my own.'

'Belly, you know you can stay with us as long as you wish.'

'Thanks. But I don't want to be a burden. I can afford a place. And, it's a whole year…'

'You know, I've missed you. You'll never be a burden. Since you went to Chicago…'

'Char… Fuck. Dad, this is not exactly the conversation I want to have right now.'

'I know, sorry. When are you coming?'

'Friday. Hope it's not a problem?'

'No, not at all. Shall I pick you up at the airport?'

'Thanks, but I'll be driving.'

'You can't drive all the way from New York to Seattle.'

'I can and I will.'

'Stubborn as her mother.'

'You don't have to compliment me.'

'Oh, trust me, it wasn't a compliment.'

'I'll drive whether you like it or not. I'm 25 dad, I can drive.'

'And what if you get a headache?'

'That's my worry then. Please, Charlie, I don't want to argue and we will if we keep on talking.'

'Right. We'll talk when you come. I'm really worried, Bella.'

'Great. I'll leave you two alone as soon as possible, I promise.'

'You don't have to.'

'But I want to. So… See you next Friday.'

'See you then.' I replied with a sigh and turned to my wife with a giant smile on my face and mixed feelings in my soul. 'Bella's coming.'