White is home. It is all that's familiar, the beds, the corridors, the training rooms, the mess hall, everything. I want to encase myself in white, represent my home. White is all I see, whites with the occasional grays and then me and my brothers with our brown skin and amber eyes and black hair and red uniform.
On Rishi, I am encased in white, stuck in the darkness. My companions wear white, our armor untouched, but we start to differ-Hevy and I get tattoos, Cutup and I grow facial hair, some clones shave their heads, others get scars. My brothers' armor becomes marred-Droidbait's by a gaping hole, clean in his chest and still smoking, Cutup's by teeth, Echo's by blood, Hevy's is scorched, and yet I remain clean, bright, and white, but I feel different anyway. I'm told by two older clones; Captain and Commander, brothers with painted armor, shaved heads, scarred faces, pauldrons, and kama, that they know we're new-shinies-because we are untouched.
Despite not being marked on Rishi, I am no longer shiny, so I paint my armor blue and watch with fascination as my armor dirties and dents and the paint chips and I feel more comfortable with the colors around me, bright, muted, light, dark, a kaleidoscope that becomes more familiar with each passing planet, every battle.
White is home and I must defend it. It feels different than before as I run in, guns blazing bright; my eyes ache and I miss a shot. I see my youngest brothers never get a chance at life; growth jars shattered, young cadets lying dead on the floor, only having seen the light and my blood boils with anger because they will never experience the kaleidoscope, all they have seen is Kamino's bright light. Ninety-Nine dies as well with a gaping hole, clean in his chest and still smoking. I desperately want to protect the cadets, but they have seen too much and will never forget that hot white light burning through their brothers.
The Citadel is a dark haze broken only by a phosphorescent yellow glow and spotlights burning bright. My armor is different again: I have more paint, and pauldrons, and kama, and gray plates covering my chest, so it's less white than before and this helps me hide as we creep through the darkness, but we are captured anyway and bright spotlights shine everywhere. We eventually escape, back to the darkness where we creep until Echo runs into the light and his helmet is scorched and I scream for him, but we must retreat into the darkness so we don't die next and we flee with less people than we came with.
Umbara is a shadow world, darkness interrupted by our brilliant armor, which exposes us even if it is painted, dirtied, chipped, but we fight anyway because we must. We are exposed as we walk down an open path and a bright light flares in front of my eyes leaving white spots dancing in my vision and Oz and Ringo are down. Our lasers brighten the shadows but it is not enough so we retreat into the darkness where Krell's lightsabers ignite, too close for comfort, so I freeze and bite my tongue and he retracts them but the light still cuts across my eyelids. I am angry so I take two brothers and meld into the darkness so we fly unnoticed, blending with the shadow world, until a droid recognizes our armor, and we are exposed again, unable to move forward, but Hardcase orders us to turn back and we do, and we fly with the heat of the explosion behind us. Jesse and I are taken in, we're to be shot, and I close my eyes to protect against the light that I know would kill me but I'm still here as the darkness settles around me. Krell tells us that our enemy is wearing our uniform and we must shoot at them but they're actually clones and our own armor is scorched. We imprison Krell and Rex is aiming to shoot, but the kill comes from elsewhere, Dogma, holding my gun. He'll be taken back to Kamino, and he walks onto the ship with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
On Ringo Vinda a blast kills the Jedi, and it's from Tup, how is it him, it couldn't be him. I volunteer to accompany to him to Kamino, someone has to come with him, he needs another brother who has been touched by the darkness.
White is home. We come to Kamino and I rub my eyes to relieve the pain.I'm rid of my armor, I'm changed into a red uniform, I'm home, and I stand out with my brown skin and amber eyes and black hair and red uniform. Tup babbles nonsense, the Kaminoans say it's nothing, but I know it's something, it's not Tup, it can't be him, and it's not him, it's a chip in his brain, and I can't trust my home, so I take his chip out and I take mine out and he dies and I run and run because I can't hide, no darkness to creep to so I run away but I can't run far and I'm caught and trapped.
Coruscant is large and intimidating and I'm ordered to tell the truth about my home, about Tup, about me, and the Chancellor wants me alone so I obey and he attacks my brothers so I have to avenge them and the Jedi come in and this looks bad and I run, run to my brothers so I can be safe. I find Kix and I ask him to find General Skywalker and Captain Rex, they'll understand, they'll believe me. Then other brothers in white and red look for me so I retreat to the darkness and I creep to where only Skywalker and Rex can find me and they do but they have their weapons out so I shield myself and they drop them and I start to tell them everything, but then other brothers in white and red run to me and I know they don't understand so I grab my gun because I have to defend myself and I hear a click and see a light and I'm falling and falling and there's so much pain and I am on fire and now there's a gaping hole clean in my chest and still smoking. As I burn, I feel the darkness taking me in its sweet embrace and I know that the nightmares are finally over.