Against my better judgement, I figured I could do a better Farscape/Stargate cross than the ones that have been done before. It's been a while since I've written anything Stargate, the whole thing is pretty rough, and I can't promise a decent update schedule, but in the words of Peter Chimaera, I decide to write anyway.

There are two things I should explain.

First, I'm aware that it was IASA rather than NASA. This was originally done to avoid the strings that came with depicting the actual space agency. I changed it to NASA because it fits better, both with the cross and because Farscape was implied to be an American program.

Second, the timeframe and continuity. On the Farscape side, it's set some time in the middle of Season 4, before Kansas and Terra Firma. I haven't seen the comics, so very little of that backstory will be in it, and some will be changed to make the cross work. In Stargate, it's set well after the end of the series. I haven't read the Atlantis novels, but I'm hoping to incorporate the broad strokes of them. SGU? I'm going to more or less pretend it never happened.

So what happened to the ten years in between? Well, remember that wormholes go through space and time...

Chapter 1: We're Very Lost

1999

To say Commander John Crichton was nervous was a vast understatement. Wedged into the cramped confines of the Farscape-1 module, floating hundreds of miles above the surface of the Earth, he couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

It was far from an unfounded fear. Space travel was dangerous, and what he was about to do even more so than normal. Crichton was testing a theory that he had developed with Douglas Knox, a NASA scientist; a manned spacecraft could overcome atmospheric drag and accelerate quickly to incredible speeds. His partner was his childhood friend and Crichton himself the son of a well-known astronaut, making the Farscape mission a potential PR coup in addition to a scientific one.

"Canaveral - this is Farscape 1, I am free and flying." Crichton's tone was jovial, but focused and professional. "Are you with me there, Momma Bear?"

"Oh yeah Farscape, I'm reading you loud and clear," Douglas Knox- DK to his friends- replied from the ground station on Earth.

Satisfied that everything was properly prepared, Crichton reached down and flipped one of the many switches lining the inside of his module. "Authorizing flight computer to initiate ignition sequencing – now."

"Roger Farscape, you are go for insertion procedure." The statement actually confused Crichton somewhat- he'd assumed he had already been cleared.

Controlled with millisecond precision by the sophisticated avionics inside the module, the engines fired, pushing Crichton back into his seat at several times the force of gravity. "Approaching maximum velocity in 21 seconds. 18 seconds... Nearing critical altitude phase."

"Farscape 1 - hold a moment-" That was about the last thing Crichton wanted to hear. Nearing a critical phase of his flight, an abort would be dangerous or even impossible.

"Hold? Canaveral – what?" Reaching down again, Crichton flipped another switch, this one labelled ABORT ARM. He was now a button press away from aborting the manoeuvre, yet still hesitated.

"Meteorology reports some kind of electromagnetic wave," DK told him. The transmission was staticy and cut out several times. "Repeat - some kind of wave. John do you read me?"

Crichton could barely see out his windows by this point, his module covered in some kind of blue corona. His quick mind guessed that this might have something to do with the transmission problems. His own transmission was nearly unintelligible. "Yeah - I read you!"

"John, abort!" DK urged from the ground. He watched helplessly as the readings got stronger and telemetry from the spacecraft cut out completely.

"CANAVERAL?" Crichton shouted, the transmission almost completely garbled. It was the last transmission from the Farscape module. In a bright blue flash of light, the module disappeared from view. Scientists would later theorize that this was, in fact, a wormhole, but all Mission Control knew at that time was that their module had disappeared.

Farscape One was gone. The experiment had failed, and it had taken one of NASA's top astronauts with it. Although bigger events would soon overshadow the failure of the Farscape Project, it would remain one of the darkest days in the history of the space agency.

2013

It was relatively calm in Moya's maintenance bay. There were no crates full of bugs or alien invaders, only a small piece of alien technology that had very lost Earth astronaut John Crichton very excited.

Which, given their record, probably meant that things would get significantly less calm any moment. Many of the crew had joked that John was a trouble magnet.

The device itself sat on the broken remnants of what passed for a packing crate in Tormented Space. Part of it was a base shaped like a very flattened egg, with the diameter of a large serving platter. Although it appeared almost organic, the satin grey metal belied its technological nature. A bundle of solid, spindly tubes rose from its centre to a sharply cut bluish crystal.

"You really think that this can contact Earth?" former Peacekeeper Officer Aeryn Sun asked, eyeing the device skeptically.

"That's what he said it would do," Crichton told her. He held up a pair of smooth stones, one in each hand. "Just take the stones and stick them into the machine. Simple."

"Hmph! I think some moron got swindled!" Rygel barked at them, passing in his hovering chair. "That trader is probably laughing about it right now!"

The human and the sebacean ignored him. "Did he say anything about how this works?"

"Nope," Crichton replied. Seeing the frown on his maybe-girlfriend's face, he added, "Hey, you know more about this stuff than I do. It probably lights up a hologram or something."

Aeryn raised an eyebrow. "And what would it connect to at the other end?"

"The red phone in the President's office?" Crichton shrugged. "I don't know. And I don't think we will know until we try." He handed her one of the stones.

She handed it back. "Oh, no, it's your machine, you put the stones in!"

He pushed the stone back into her hand. "Can't. The seller was very specific about that. It's gotta be two different people putting both stones in at the same time."

"Why don't you get D'Argo to do it?"

"Because D'Argo is taking Chiana for a joyride on Lo'lah," Crichton reminded her. "And I don't want to wait until tomorrow for them to come back."

"Why not Rygel or Sikozu?" Getting a glare in reply, she added, "Taking point."

"I think you mean point taken," Crichton corrected.

She considered it for a moment, then nodded. "That makes a lot more sense, actually."

Crichton held up the stone. "So, are we going to do this or not?"

"Let's finish this quickly," Aeryn agreed reluctantly.

Crichton smirked, then lead her toward the device. "On three, put that stone into this slot."

"Got it."

"One, two, three!"

The two stumbled, and initially it had appeared as if nothing happened except for a brief loss of coordination. However, the minds of John Crichton and Aeryn Sun no longer inhabited their bodies.

Colonel Cameron Mitchell experienced a brief moment of extreme and difficult to describe disorientation. One moment, he was about to start a meeting about the future of SG-1. The next, he was somewhere completely different. Completely alien. An odd sense of movement gave the location away as some kind of spaceship, and the place felt alive, but it didn't look Wraith.

It briefly occurred to him that his job was so strange that he didn't even consider suddenly being on an alien spaceship that odd anymore. Just... annoying.

"What the hell happened?" Looking around at the strange, organic-looking space, his eyes soon fell on the device sitting beside them. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me!"

"What happened?" a very familiar woman asked.

"Vala?" Looking closely, he noticed a few differences between the woman and his teammate. Still, they were slight, to the point of the resemblance being creepy. "Eh... you're not Vala, are you? Shoot. Listen, I'm-"

"Actually, I am," Vala in Aeryn's body replied. She noticed the device almost immediately. "Oh, don't tell me it's one of those things again."

"Yeah, it's one of those Ancient body-swapping communication devices." He sighed. "Not how I imagined starting my day."

"You're Colonel Mitchell?" Vala guessed. She wondered if the device was having some effect on their appearances, because the man in front of her looked exactly like her teammate.

"Yeah, I am." He spread his arms and smiled thinly. "How do I look?"

"Well, you look like... you," she replied. Then she looked closer. Different hair, slightly different complexion, and a scar that she knew he didn't have. "Well, almost. You look very similar, but I can tell that body is not Colonel Mitchell. What about me?"

"A meaner looking version of you," he answered. "Either we ended up in the most similar-looking people to us in the entire universe, or this device is messing with our-"

"Crichton, are you alright?" a disembodied voice spoke, cutting him off. Mitchell turned to the source of the voice, a hologram of a crustacean-looking creature. "I have detected a power surge in the maintenance bay."

Mitchell stopped, pausing in thought. He muttered, "Crichton... no way."

"What?" Vala asked, equal parts confused and curious. "Who's Crichton? You know who we're in?"

"John Crichton, my cousin, looked a lot like me," Mitchell replied darkly. "Except he died over ten years ago."