How to Woo your Pirate
Summary: In three easy steps! Gai was never one to hide his feelings. Now, if only Doc wasn't so oblivious. Gai/Doc.
Author's Note: I saw the stupidest pickup line the other day and giggled like mad. So now you can laugh at Gai's expense.
Disclaimer: Gokaiger isn't mine. No, really.
How to Woo your Pirate
An Official Manual
By Ikari Gai
Step 1. Drop subtle hints. Remember, this stage is only to see their interests in dating. Butter them up. DON'T OVERDO IT.
Gai leaned against the counter, watching Don Dogoier bustle about the kitchen and hum to himself under his breath.
"Can you hand me the salt?" He eventually asked. Gai leapt on the task almost rabidly, his arms a flurry of motion and his feet sliding against the slick floor. He grinned brightly and held the procured item gently in his hand.
"Here, Don-san!"
Gokai Green blinked and looked almost taken aback. "Um…thanks?" His nose scrunched up in the adorable way it always did when he was uncertain or confused by something. Gai sighed (dreamily?) and leaned his head on his palm.
"You're such a great cook." His eyelashes were practically fluttering at this point. If Don noticed, he ignored it and continued to stir his creating in the pot on the stovetop. Gai pursed his lips slightly when he received no reaction from the ship's engineer and leaned back with an almost silent 'hmph'. "I wonder…where Don-san learned to do of all this?"
Don cracked a smile. "Oh! Well before I was pirate I worked on tons of other stuff. Usually my jobs weren't just mechanically-based."
"Really?" Gokai Silver perked up at the information. It wasn't often that any of them talked about their time before being a pirate, though he knew the basics. Marvelous—well, he was always a pirate, just not always a captain, Luka was a thief, and so on.
"Mhm."
A comfortable silence enveloped them. A few minutes passed until Don declared the meal ready. He didn't even finish his sentence before Marvelous took his seat at the table and was calling for them to hurry up.
As the crew slurped down their bowls, Gai coyly raised an eyebrow.
"So, Don-san," He began. "On your home planet, what were the courting traditions?"
Ahim cleared her throat, quietly, just to let Gai know his statement didn't go completely unheard. Luka nearly choked on a piece of bread.
"Courting traditions? Like dating?"
The younger member blinked at him, waiting.
"Ah, well," Don placed his spoon down. "First, to make their intentions known, one must perform a complicated dance and traditional song on the third Sunday of the month. The dance consists of…"
Gai paled. He…this isn't what he wanted.
Ahim turned to Luka and delicately took a sip of tea. "Do you think he realizes yet?" She asked sweetly, in reference of Don. Luka snickered.
"He doesn't have a clue. Gai doesn't stand a chance."
Step 2. Flirting. Pick-up lines are preferable. Ensure you gauge their reactions. Any unwanted advances will result in hasty retreat.
Gai cleared his throat. Okay, so this plan wouldn't fail. He had all his lines practiced, and he would deliver them so suavely Don-san would practically collapse in his arms. Or…something like that, anyway. He crossed his arms and rolled his shoulders back.
Don was currently sitting on his legs on the floor, his head stuck under their navigation system. An open toolbox was beside him and wires were strewn everywhere.
"I must be searching for treasure," He began. "Because that is the finest booty I've ever laid my eyes on."
"Huh?" Don withdrew and turned around. "Did you say something, Gai?" He wiped his hand across his forehead, leaving behind a streak of soot. Brown eyes narrowed in determination. So there was a slight obstacle to overcome. No worries.
"Did it hurt?" Unfortunately, he didn't get to finish before Don hurriedly checked over himself for any sort of injury.
"What? Do I have a cut somewhere? Oh no—what if I bled into the system?"
"D-Don san!"
"Awww, mou!"
"DID IT HURT WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN?!" Gai burst out, practically having to shout over Don's panicked mutters.
"Heaven?" Don's eyebrows came together in confusion. "No…?"
Gai had to suddenly repress his urge to jump off the Galleon. It was probably a good thing he couldn't fit through the windows.
"Do you mind giving me a checkup? I think I have…the love fever." Now he was getting desperate. For added effect he placed his hand on his forehead dramatically. The blonde stood up.
"Well you are acting strangely. I wouldn't be surprised if you were sick." Don pried his hand away to check his temperature for himself, wiping his dirty hands on his pants in the process. "Is this love fever an Earthly sickness? I've never heard of it."
Nope, scratch that. It didn't matter if he couldn't fit through the window, he was going flying. Time to pull out his final resort.
"You know," Gai began tentatively, fearing the response. "I think I found the greatest treasure in the universe. It's standing right in front of—"
"YOU WHAT?!"
Later that evening, Gai was found on the couch with his hands tangled in his hair, looking exasperated, frustrated, and exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot. "I don't get it." He whispered to himself hollowly. "How can…how can anyone be that…"
Joe smirked and sat down beside him, slinging an arm over his shoulder. He was garnering far more amusement out of this than he should be. "Better luck next time, Silver."
Step 3: If those first two steps STILL don't work, try giving gifts of affection. You can never go wrong with chocolates or flowers.
Marvelous eyes the bouquet in front of him disdainfully, looking almost offended that a pirate would be giving dainty gifts of flowers.
"What do you think?" Gai asked with a grin, invigorated by his own genius. "Perfect, right?"
The captain paused. While a gift like that certainly wouldn't work on him, Don was another story entirely. He'd probably enjoy it. Something about being romantic or sensitive or whatever. "They're nice…I guess."
That was all the encouragement the youngest member needed and he bounced on the heels of his feet. "I know!" He scuttled off to find the Doc, and Marvelous sighed loudly as he collapsed in his captain's chair. He doubted Gai understood yet.
"Don-san, these are for you!"
"Really? Thanks Gai!" Don chirped, placing his screwdriver down to gently finger the flower's petals. "What are these called?"
"Carnations," Gai bit back a smile. Finally! He was actually making progress! "I'm glad you like them."
"Of course," The blonde took a deep whiff of their light, sweet fragrance. "It's ah-ah—" He turned his head to sneeze violently. "Nice of you—" Another sneeze. "Um, is this norma—" Don put the flowers down and wiped at his watery eyes.
Gai took the bouquet without another word. He tried not to stomp too loudly on his way out.
…
He edged the box of chocolates closer to the engineer.
Don finally caught sight of it from the corner of his eye.
Gai continued to stare. "They're for you, Don-san."
Don's face erupted into an unbridled smile. "Really? Do you always give chocolates to your friends?"
As soon as the last word left his mouth, the brunette had already slammed the door to his room behind him, grabbed his pillow, stuffed his face into it, and screamed.
WHEN NONE OF THESE WORK BECAUSE SAID PIRATE IS FREAKING BLIND, BE REALLY OBVIOUS. PREFERABLE METHOD = KISSING
Gai stared at himself one last time in the mirror. "You got this," He tried to motivate himself. "You won't fail this time."
He left his room, just in time to catch a glance of blonde, unruly hair. "Ah—Don-san! Don-san!" He called out, hoping he wasn't too late. Alone in the hallway…that was convenient. Very convenient. He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity.
"Gai?" Doc poked his head around the corner. The brunette waved him over and intensely stared into his eyes the whole time the engineer was walking down the hall. Doc tried not to shrink back from the sudden seriousness Gai was exhibiting.
"I need to know," He began, placing his hands on Doc's shoulders. "If you even know what I've been doing this past week."
Don wracked his brain. "Uh…"
"Because if you're just trying to let me down easy I need to know." Gai pouted fiercely. "I just want to know…if you like me or not?"
"What…do you mean?" The blonde's heart suddenly sped up and he tried to get his mouth to wrap around the words he needed to find. This was suddenly turning very strange, and he didn't understand. "Of course I like you—"
"I mean like like!" Gai blurted.
"…like like?" Don blinked. "Wh—oh. Oh." Blood rushed to his cheeks. "Uh. I mean—well—why would you…me?"
Gai seemed taken aback. "Why not you?" He innocently inquired. "You're smart, and funny, and a great listener, and you're so dedicated and loyal to the crew why wouldn't I…" His voice trailed off. "The cheesy one-liners? The chocolates and flowers? Asking about courting rituals?"
"That was…you telling me…?" Don squeaked.
Gokai Silver's palm hit his forehead. "Of course! That's what I've been trying to teeeelll you." He fidgeted. "So?"
Don bit his lip. "I've always—mmph!"
Gai's lips crashed into his own. It was uncoordinated, messy, but…pleasant. When they finally broke apart for breath, Don was staring at him with wide eyes. Gai was grinning brightly.
"I get it now." He said dumbly, still reeling from the kiss.
"Took you long enough," Gai muttered, his breath warm against Doc's lips as he leaned in.
This time, Doc met him halfway there.