PLOT BUNNY AGAIN. THIS ONE IS DEFINITELY DEEPER, MORE INTENSE THAN MY USUAL, BUT I'M GIVING IT A WHIRL. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
DON'T OWN IT.
"Will you go out with me?" Deeks asked.
"Are you being serious?" Kensi replied.
"Actually, yes."
"No." There was no hesitation, not even a moment of consideration. It was one word, but it tore Deeks apart.
"W-why?" He stuttered. He really thought she'd say yes.
"Any man I care about leaves me. This is a dangerous job. You could die, which means I lose you. I'm sorry, but I can't get hurt like that. Not again." She explained.
"I'm sorry, Kensi. I really thought you'd say yes. Now everything's going to be weird." Deeks raked a hand through his hand.
"No, Deeks, you don't understand! I do love you. That's why I can't say yes."
"Kensi, I promise you I won't go and die on you." He pledged.
"You can't promise me that. You and I both know this is a highly dangerous job. No one is safe."
"I'm guessing Jack told you he'd never leave you. And you thought Dom would be fine because he was a rookie. And you never saw your dad coming."
"I'm so sorry. I really wish I could say yes, but I can't. If the circumstances were different…" She placed a hand on his cheek, and kissed his lips. She turned and walked away, knowing that if she stayed, there would be no going back. That she would fall hopelessly in love with a man that she shouldn't, couldn't. And then, one of those days, she'd stop falling, and she'd land. And it would be so painful. She's already experienced enough pain.
For the first time since he was 11 and shot his dad, Deeks cried. He was laying in bed, face pushed into his pillow to muffle his sobs, so as not to wake the others in his apartment complex. The walls were paper-thin, and any noise could be heard. He knew he was an idiot for asking her. Hadn't he learned his lesson with Jess Trainor? Kensi had a point. It could never end well.
As soon as Kensi threw herself inside her apartment, she sank to the floor, leaning on the door, not even bothering to lock it. She didn't even bother fighting the tears, she just let them roll down her face. The pleasant numbness he had been feeling for the past 6 years went away, only to be replaced with old and new pain. Rejecting Deeks was the hardest thing she had ever had to do. She loved the prospect of falling in love. In that moment, when Deeks asked her to be his lover, all her walls collapsed. She was so happy. She felt sorry for what she said, regretted it. She was so un-Kensi-like. But she knew that somewhere, deep down, she was still operating as Kensi Blye, because she said 'no'. She kept herself from getting hurt. So why was it that she had never felt so much pain in her life than right now?
I KNOW THIS WAS REALLY SHORT, BUT I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO LENGTHEN IT. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.