Author: MarieAmethyst
Title: For All That I Am
Pairing: Sun Ce/Zhou Yu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance, Humor
Warnings: Slash, little bit of lime-goodness, sap! XD
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make a profit off of 'em. Dynasty Warriors 4, Sun Ce, and Zhou Yu belong to Koei; 'For All That I Am' lyrics belong to A*Teens.
Author's Note: Result of playing Dynasty Warriors 4 wwwwwaaaaayyyyyyy too much. XP Takes place shortly after the Race for the Nan Territory mission. Slight OOC, but I promise I did my best to keep them in character (including how they are represented in the books). I wanted to reflect what I thought their relationship would be like (whether "that" type or not), so it might seem a little... weird. Please ignore any errors there are, I didn't give it more than a once-over after I finished it. If someone wants to beta it I'll love you forever and give you chocolate-covered Dynasty men!
Description: Zhou Yu is wounded, Sun Ce comforts, slash ensues. ^_^
Last night, I came home too late
And you were there waiting
I know, it's easy to call
I guess I wasn't thinking of you
It's not that I don't care
You should know me better by now
The sun had fallen and the moon now reigned in its place. The cool night breeze played over his bare skin, raising goose bumps along his arms. Around him men were speaking together, their voices laced with exhilaration. Though he knew he should remind his men that they would have to be up at sunrise and thus should get as much sleep as possible, he found he did not have the resolve to do so.
Today they had successfully occupied the Nan Territory, Xiang Yang, and the Jing Province. It was a major victory for them, and a major defeat for the Shu forces, and especially for Wei. He did not bother to deny to himself the satisfaction he felt for finally besting Zhuge Liang.
But for him that victory had come with a price. His right shoulder throbbed painfully underneath the bandages the doctor had wrapped around the wound a few minutes ago. He had been extremely lucky that the metal tip of the arrow had not broken off and remained lodged in his shoulder after he had ripped it out. Immediately after he had returned to the main camp the doctor had ushered him into the medical tent and proceeded to spend an hour digging wooden splinters out and then stitching the wound closed. Behind him the doctor was still muttering about the amount of blood lost and idiots who devise a strategy from being shot with an arrow.
A reluctant smile tugged at his mouth. The doctor might believe him insane, but his plan had worked. Retreating after he had been wounded, Cao Cao's general and relative, Cao Ren, had believed him dead and charged out of the castle he had been protecting, allowing his forces to charge in and seize control of it. After it fell, the other two targets were seized easily enough.
All in all, the wound was well worth it.
If only his shoulder would stop throbbing every few moments. The doctor had given him some type of medicine to ease the pain, but it had yet to take affect. He had also been advised to seek out his bedroll immediately. A strange type of restlessness filled him though, so instead of seeking his tent he strode towards the edge of the camp.
As he passed men saluted and called out greetings. He nodded his acknowledgements but never paused. The firelight and the loud noises soon grew distant as he reached the tree grove beyond the camp. Here he found the solitude he craved.
Sinking to the ground amidst the roots of the tree, he reclined until his bare back rested against the rough bark. He let his head fall back, gazing up at the glittering stars semi-visible through the partially bare tree branches. Autumn was fully upon them, a thought that sent a small shiver through him that had nothing to do with the cool air.
A season had passed since he had last seen Sun Ce. They had parted ways at the end of spring to begin their separate tasks, each in command of an army and each ready to stop the tyrant of the North, Cao Cao, if he decided the Southland would make a good addition to the lands already under his control. And during the long, hot summer he had done his best to fulfill the task appointed to him, waging battle after battle and winning victory after victory for Wu. Through it all the only contact he had had with Sun Ce was letters that arrived every now and then to offer congratulations for his wins. Even just remembering the impersonal feel each letter had left him in a state of confusion.
The last morning they had spent together, and the last night, had left him secure in the knowledge that it was he who possessed Sun Ce's heart. But over the course of these last few months and with each new letter, a small sliver of doubt tugged at his mind. He had managed to bury all such thoughts in the race for the Nan Territory, Xiang Yang, and the Jing Province. Now however, with nothing left to occupy his mind, the doubt came rushing back.
The wind began to pick up slightly, its chillness caressing him like a lover. Strands of hair fell into his face and brushed against his shoulders. Shivering, he wrapped his arms around himself carefully to avoid aggravating his wound further, wishing now he had taken a moment to stop at his tent for a shirt. His old one had been too bloody and torn to be of any more use, but even it would be desirable to block the wind that was starting to pick up in force. Around him it grew darker; glancing up through the tree branches he noticed the clouds that had not been there before. A storm was coming, and if he did not leave soon, he was going to be caught in it.
As he attempted to rise though, a heavy lethargy swept over him. Suddenly it seemed like a very good idea to stay here and rest for a bit, just enough to regain the strength he had abruptly lost. Actually he realized it was quite pleasant now. His shoulder no long caused him pain, and the air wasn't as cold as it had been minutes before.
When oblivion came, he gladly surrendered to it.
I know (I know) I often forget
To say that I love you (that I love you)
And yes(and yes) I truly regret
The times that I might have hurt you that way
It's not that I don't care
You should know me better by now
"Zhou Yu!"
Slowly he came back to himself, disoriented. His entire body felt numb except for his shoulder, which ached with a renewed frenzy. All he wanted was to return to the place where he had heard or felt nothing…
"Zhou Yu, damn it, wake up!"
A gloved hand grabbed his uninjured shoulder and shook him. Dimly, he knew he had heard that voice before. But no, the owner of the voice was miles and miles away. Perhaps it was just a dream, brought on by all the recent thinking he had done.
"Zhou Yu, come on, wake up! This isn't funny!" The hand shook him roughly again.
With a start he opened his eyes, a glance taking in the cloaked man that knelt before him. The man that was his sworn brother, his friend… and his lover.
"Sun Ce?"
He was pulled forward against the other's body. Strong arms quickly wrapped him in a tight embrace. He relaxed against the other willingly, savoring the scent that was uniquely his. Trying to lift his own arms, he found he did not have the strength, so he contented himself with burying his face against the other's neck.
The other man's reaction was quick: the arms around him loosened enough for him to fall back. He met Sun Ce's gaze with his own, wondering if he had done something wrong.
Sun Ce merely undid the clasp of his cloak, throwing it around him with an expert flick of his wrist, and redid the clasp. He gratefully sank deeper into its warmth, realizing just how cold he really was.
"You idiot!"
He flinched at the sharpness in the other's voice, and tried to shrink back. Sun Ce cursed under his breath and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him against his chest.
"What-?"
"Sorry." The other kissed his ear gently. "But no one in camp knew where you were, and then I found you out here, by yourself, where anyone could attack you. And you as still as death, without a shirt on and barely breathing! What the hell were you thinking, Zhou Yu?"
"I suppose I wasn't," he admitted, leaning forward even more.
Sun Ce took the hint and kissed his ear again. For a long minute they relished the other's presence. Feeling returned to his body, and he lifted his arms to encircle other other's neck. The realization that he was here, now, hit him. The need to feel the other's mouth on his own overwhelmed him. Tilting his head back, he whispered, "Kiss me."
With a groan Sun Ce did just that, furiously claiming the offered lips. Mouths opened and tongues dueled, until they both broke away with gasps. He was pulled into the other's lap, which suited him fine. As their breathing slowly returned to normal, Sun Ce touched the bandages on his right shoulder.
"I thought you had died."
"What?" he asked in surprise.
"I thought you had died," he repeated. "We captured a messenger Cao Ren had sent to Cao Cao, who claimed you had died from an arrow wound while taking the Nan Territory. Upon arriving here I was assured you lived, though the arrow wound was real. When I searched for you and couldn't find you anywhere in the camp, I panicked. It wasn't quite the welcome I had expected," he said wryly.
He smiled, "And the whole 'still as death' image didn't help, I suppose."
"No it did not. For a moment there I when I first found you I thought you were dead."
The letters flashed through his mind. "Would that have been such an awful thing?" He asked quietly.
It was Sun Ce's turn to be confused. "What are you talking about?"
He shook his head and leaned back, seeking to escape what he had so recently sought. But Sun Ce tightened his arms, and shook his own head. Looking into the other's brown eyes, he saw the determined glint in their depths.
"Explain what the hell that was supposed to mean."
"Is that an order, my lord?" He asked sarcastically.
"You know it isn't. I just want to know what happened over the summer that makes you think I would want to see you dead. In case you haven't noticed, I'm in love with you."
"Before this summer I had been sure of that. Now I'm wondering if it wasn't love, but some other sentiment."
Sun Ce's face was unreadable, "Like what? Pent-up lust? Temporary insanity? If I remember correctly, it was you who kissed me first, or have you forgotten?"
He swallowed. "No, I haven't forgotten. I think it is you who has."
The harsh laugh sounded as if it had been torn from the other's throat. "When you are all that I have thought about for months? Even in the midst of battle, when my thoughts should have been focused on fighting, my mind was focused on you." He smiled, a ghost of the one normally gracing his lips, the familiarity of it making his pulse quicken. "Do you know how hard it is to dodge a weapon when you are picturing your lover naked under you, flushed with passion?" His expression softened, "Zhou Yu, what is this all really about?"
What an utter fool I've been, he realized suddenly. Not once had he stopped to imagine what Sun Ce must have been going through during their separation; he had only been concerned about himself. I am a conceited bastard. "Nothing," he said, "just that I've been a complete idiot." He grasped one of Sun Ce's hands, tugged off the black leather glove, and kissed the palm.
"Isn't that supposed to be my job?" The other joked, brushing his cheek tenderly.
He leaned into the touch. "Mmm, everyone needs to do something idiotic every now and then. It teaches you humility." He reached up and pulled at the crimson ribbon holding his lover's long hair secured in the ponytail he usually wore. Brown silk cascaded down, falling in waves around his face and down his back. Eagerly sliding his free hand through the strands, he murmured, "What's this about me being naked under you?"
I am sorry if I made you lonely and sad
I am sorry I made you feel bad
What I'm trying to say
I'm not always that way
So love me for all that I am
The truly wicked grin that appeared after his question caused his heart to skip a beat. Sun Ce pushed him against the base of the tree, following him down and settling his body over his own. His shoulder twinged in pain, but when the other's arousal was pressed against his own, it was completely driven out of his mind. His hand was still tangled in the other's hair; using that advantage he tried to bring Sun Ce's mouth down so he could kiss the other's tempting lips.
The other refused to budge though. "First tell me what bothered you, Gongjin," he said, using his style name.
"It was silly, Bofu." Please, I just want to lose myself in you right now.
"Silly or not, I need to know what made you doubt my love for you."
He sighed, playing with a lock of the other's hair. "It was your letters."
His other hand was captured and brought up to the other's mouth. When a digit was sucked into the moist heat of the other's mouth he closed his eyes. A tongue lavished affection on the captured finger, slowly licking it from tip to bottom. He moaned his approval of the administrations. One last lick and then the heat was withdrawn.
He reopened his eyes to see Sun Ce braced above him, framed by the stars peeking through the tree branches. At that moment his heart constricted with the love he felt for him, and he smiled up at the other. Desire coursed through his body, and again he tugged gently on the silken hair. "Must we discuss this depressing subject tonight, beloved?"
Sun Ce mock-leered down at him, "Is there another pressing… need you wish to discuss then, Lord Zhou Yu?"
He arched his lower body in response.
"Ah, I see there is," he said, reaching down to touch the evidence of his need. "I suppose our conversation can wait until later. What do you propose we should do instead?"
Rubbing against the hand, he said, "Well, I do have one thing in mind."
The hand was removed and Sun Ce pretended to ponder it seriously "Perhaps devise a new strategy to use against Shu and Wei?"
"No." He reached up and began to under the ties on the black-and-crimson outer-tunic.
"No?" He affected surprise. "How about showing each other the new scars we've acquired over the summer?"
"Mmm, getting closer," he said, thinking of how he was going to kiss each one of those scars before the night was over. "But not that either." He finished with the last tie and pushed the outer-tunic apart.
Sun Ce obligingly lowered his head so it could be slipped off. He grinned when it went sailing away into the darkness. "Damn, I was sure that was it. I suppose there really is only one thing left." He leaned down and whispered into his ear, "And that is to make love to you."
He grinned as well. "Very perceptive, my lord. And you happen to be wearing too much clothing" He tugged on the black shirt for emphasis.
"Eager tonight, are we, Gongjin?" He chuckled softly and raised his head to meet his gaze. Hair cascaded down to mingle with his own brown locks "Let us return to your tent and I will gladly shed whatever article of clothing you wish me to." He began to rise.
Before the Wu lord could get more than a few inches away he was stopped by the arms that had locked around his neck. "What?"
The arms tightened. "What's wrong with here?"
He shot him a look that clearly questioned his state of mind. "It's freezing, for one thing. You are also injured and shouldn't have been out here in the first place." He placed a kiss on the bandaged shoulder. "It's also most likely to storm at any moment, and I don't want to get wet."
"It has been looking like it was going to storm for hours now, Bofu. You won't melt if you get a little wet. I promise."
Sun Ce stuck his tongue out, and he laughed at the childish gesture. At the sound the other's expression changed. The laughter died in his throat when he saw the naked hunger on his face.
"Please, Gongjin, let us return to your tent." A wicked glint appeared in his eyes. "They'll send someone out to look for us if we don't. Do you really want someone like Gan Ning to discover us like this?"
He paled. "Gods, Gan Ning would never let us live it down!" He shuddered at the thought of the former pirate's antics.
Sun Ce smirked. "Exactly. So, shall we go?" He stole a quick kiss before pushing himself up. Reaching down, he helped the wounded strategist to his feet, making sure the cloak was wrapped firmly around the lithe body. Satisfied, he ran a few steps into the darkness, returning a few moments later with the discarded outer-tunic.
He began to pull it on but stopped when he noticed him shivering despite the cloak. He shook his head and walked over to him, undoing the clasp and letting it fall to the ground. The outer-tunic was pulled over his head and the ties bound firmly. He bent down and retrieved the cloak, throwing it over his shoulders and redoing the clasp.
He had remained still while the other had tenderly dressed him. Honestly, the outer-tunic was too large for him; Sun Ce was much wider across the chest and shoulders then he could hope to be. So it hung off his frame despite having been tied as tight as possible. It was also sleeveless and did not offer much more protection against the cold air. But as Sun Ce lifted his hair from under the clothing and tucked errant strands behind his ear, he gazed at the other's face and saw the love reflected in the brown eyes, he wondered how he had ever doubted Sun Ce's love for him.
Some of his emotions must have shown on his own face for Sun Ce gave him a quizzical look when he glanced up. "What is it?"
"Just that…" he swallowed. "Just that I love you." He stepped closer, bringing his arms up to wrap around the other's neck, bringing his lips to touch the other's lips with a feathery caress. "Love you so much." And he pressed against the firm body, wanting to dissolve and become as close as possible to the other.
He felt himself being lifted by hands at the back of his thighs, felt the rough texture of the tree bark at his back, felt a hard, warm body press along his front. When lips fiercely claimed his, he gave in completely, sucking the other's tongue into his mouth. Tongues engaged in a heated duel as their mouths sealed. The other's beard tickled his chin, and he couldn't suppress a grin.
Sun Ce pulled back to look at him. "What?"
He reached around to grab the beard and gave it a playful yank. "I've missed your fur."
The Wu lord mock glared at him. "It is not fur! A beard is perfectly dignified." A slow grin spread across his lips. "Unlike your smooth chin, which would make any fair maiden jealous."
This time he was the one to glare. "Are you implying that I am womanly?"
The grin grew wicked. "Why, whatever gave you that idea, Gongjin? So you do have lovely pale, smooth skin," a leather-gloved hand traced small designs over his chest, sending a slight shiver through him. "But I must confess, I find it irresistible."
"Oh really?" Zhou Yu raised an eyebrow. "Then you must know that I find you irrestible as well." He gave another playful tug. "Especially how it feels against my skin."
Sun Ce nuzzled his neck gently. "I shall do my best to indulge your fetish."
He gasped in mock-outrage. "Fetish! It is not a fetish to enjoy your lover's beard against your skin."
Laughing softly against the other's throat, Sun Ce said, "But I suppose it is a fetish to enjoy watching your lover get angry."
"Why… you…" The strategist set about getting revenge, brining his hands down to the other's sides and proceeded to tickle him mercilessly.
"Zhou Yu!" Sun Ce's reaction was immediate as he withered beneath the other man's hands. After laughing uncontrollably for a few moments he managed to grab the offending hands and pinned them above the other's head. Pressing fully against the unresisting body, he stared into the other's eyes and grinned. "Now what would be a fitting punishment for attacking one's lord?"
He pretended to ponder the question. "Considering that "lord" is a royal pain in the arse-" His sentence was cut short when the other quickly captured his lips and proceeded to spend the next minute ravaging them. When Sun Ce finally leaned back to smirk at him he drew in a shuddering breath. After somewhat regaining his composure he said, "The fitting punishment would be to let the offender spend the night worshipping his lord's body to make up for the attack."
"I quite agree." Sun Ce continued to smirk. "But I will hold off on carrying out the punishment since the offender is currently wounded. Instead, I decree that the lord shall spend the night worshipping *his* body until the offender cannot move a single muscle in his body and is forced to lie still and let his body heal." So saying Sun Ce easily picked up the other man, careful of his wound, and began to pick his way through the trees.
Zhou Yu, sensing the other would not be persuaded to put him down, contented himself with wrapping his arms around the other's shoulders and burying his face against the other's neck. There would be time later to harass Sun Ce for the indignity of being carried back to camp. For now he had to conserve his strength for the coming 'punishment' at his lover's hands. All in all, it was most definitely worth it.