A/N: This is Maureen, thinking about her past. I have no idea where this came from.
I was always that girl.
The one that everyone stares at in the hallways – but for all the wrong reasons. I was never the pretty cheerleader or the star of any team.
I was the girl who stood out in that weird artistic way. I was quirky, a misfit, and I didn't really belong anywhere.
Everyone knew me, not because of some award I had won or something important that I'd done, but because of something that I didn't do.
Like refusing to say the pledge of allegiance. Or getting put in detention more times than I could count for not paying attention.
Being the crazy chick was fine by me.
But then I found something that made me feel as if I almost …belonged.
It scared me. I was used to being a loner and not having a place, and all of a sudden I had found this thing.
Theatre.
It put me in with other people who respected and liked me. I had people to talk to. I finally began to become more open.
I transformed.
I spent less time being the bad influence, more time being an individual.
My image transformed overnight from weirdo to drama queen. I had always been overly dramatic, but all of a sudden, people began to look at it as a good thing rather than a bad thing.
But being seen like that, being seen through different eyes, frightened me. I had to readjust what I thought of the world, and try and accept the change.
I had always hated change and this was no exception.
Opening night I was euphoric. I had never felt this way before. People congratulating me, telling me how brilliant I was.
It thrilled me, and terrified me all at the same time.
At home, my dad actually talked to me for once instead of yelling at me. He praised me. He was proud of his little girl and, for the first time in his life, it looked like I might be something other than a failure.
His acceptance thrilled me, but I was already too far gone.
I was panicking.
People don't just change instantly. You can't go from hating to loving in under a minute. People aren't cars. It takes time; you have to let yourself adjust to what's happening around you.
I tried to reason with myself, that maybe I just viewed the world differently from everybody else.
No such luck.
I was right, and I knew that this elated feeling couldn't last much longer. So I did the only thing I could. I separated myself from everyone before I could miss what never was and what I never had.
Goodbye small suburban town, hello New York City.