Of Another Life
Chapter one : Death's Call
Before I begin this crazy tale of life after death, let me introduce myself. I am Misasuki Misako, a 33 year old woman who has lived a life of the worse kind. I never believed in reincarnation, didn't believe in a happily ever after, and didn't give much credit to the thoughts of there being a possibility of Transformers really existing. I made my small fortune by way of a starving artist, and usually, I did starve. My artwork wasn't very popular except at those rare sci-fi exhibitions where my genre was highly covented. I made a small living off of the occassional sellings off of ametuer artist sites. I was single, living alone, no friends, and not even the loving house-pet as my beloved Mew passed away just two months prior to this telling. To make a long explaination shorter, I was a very lonely, depressed and run-down woman. And if the telling seems rushed, don't worry, it'll be filled in soon. Now that this is out of the way, I'll begin where it all started, on the road to Arizona. . .
Numb, I never recalled in my sad life ever feeling this numb before—and calm. It felt as though for the first time in my life, I was making the right decision. The scenery passed by me in a blur of motion, ordinarily, I would have been in awe-camera in hand- and taking pictures to paint later in hopes of making a small bit of money from the beauty nature offered. But today, I was just numb. The decision to come all the way out to Arizona from Kansas hadn't been rash, but nor was it well planned. I had woken up early the night before and made the decision almost unconciously. I had thrown what I needed in my car, written a short-detailed note for anyone who might wonder where I'd gone, and simply left. Taking the first road I'd found that lead me in the direction of Southwest.
Now that I was on the road, with nothing to do but think, I realized that this was the direction I'd been 'called' to since I was a little girl. I always loved the Southwest direction, and had always felt pulled to go there, to some point which I could never explain. Lack of money and knowledge, and fear of becoming lost and being without money so far from home left me feeling too afraid and uncomfortable to attempt what I was doing now. But I had enough money in my pocket to pay for fuel, and eating wasn't something I was worried about. After all, it wouldn't matter once I reached my destination. As the scenery and cars flew past me in blurs of color and sound, I thought back to my life, which had been nothing short of terrible from my very first memory.
At the age of two, I developed an amazing ability to communicate with animals and plants. A gift that revealed itself when I was able to convince flowers to bloom when the most skilled botianist had said the soil was not proper. I caused trees to move their limbs down or out of my way as I walked through forests, I was able to even speak and touch wildlife such as pumas that roamed in our wild area beyond my childhood home without fear of attack. People where I lived called me a Witch. Said I did the devil's work. And as such, I had no friends in the small entirely Catholic town I was raised. My parents were what people call die-hard-christians, and went to church twice a week, Wednesday and Sunday. And despite the fact I went with them, rumors still presisted that I was demon-infested due to my amazing abilities. As I grew older, my growing talents brought on the attention of others, both the US government's military divisions seeking "psychic-teams" for their military divisions, and another sect of people I didn't know but knew to avoid.
By the time I had reached adulthood at 18 years of age, I had been almost killed roughly 32 times. The US government had stopped messing with me when I was 12 years old, and the other parties that tried to kill me whom I didn't know had picked up speed until I was 17 years old. I had been shot through the heart from the back by a large "bolt"-like arrow when I was 8 years old. The injury didn't kill me, even though it had pierced both my heart and my right lung, doing a lot of damage. I survived. From ages 12 thru 16 I had been hit by four sedan-sized cars, two large trucks and two contruction sized vehicles. All had been purposeful and powerful attempts to kill me. Although significantly damanged, I recovered fast. Super-humanly fast according to doctors, who eyed me with interest I didn't feel comfortable with. It was the final straw when I was 18 years old, that made me decide that I would never reveal my abilities to the public again, and I would simple fade out of existance to those who hunted me or knew of me. I'd leave my reputation as demon-spawn, and an alien-human imposter behind me and prove I was a normal person like the rest of them. But it was a single event that made me decide to do so.
Two months after turning 18 years old, I was walking to my country house along my usually quiet dirt road on a nightly walk when a car came speeding down the road. I had grown paranoid by now of anything that was streaking towards me, and immediately moved to defend myself. The move turned out to be proper. As soon as I had moved into the open field to my right, away from the road, the speeding car verred dramatically and headed towards me. I raised my arms in automatic defense, and felt the same rush of energy pulse around me and outwards. The car was just three feet from me when it stopped as though a massive forced had dropped on it, crushing the entire front end of the car with more force than the car compactors at a salvage yard. The car was dead. Literal and figuratively, it was dead—still and non-functioning. Terror had raced through me, I'd run to see if the driver was okay only to find the seats empty.
That day had haunted me until the end. A sudden blaring of a truck horn brought me out of my thoughts to look around, another asshole had decided 75mph wasn't fast enough and had sped around me, narrowly missing the oncoming semi-truck in the opposite lane headed eastward. I blinked, the car clock said it was just a little past 1pm, the scenery had started to massively change from the hilly flats of western kansas to the distant touches of blue mountains that laced the southern parts of Colorado and New Mexico's borders. Without a map, I wouldn't have known what road to take, but that didn't worry me. Still engulfed by the same calm numbness, I automatically flipped my blinker and got off of the familiar HWY 54 and turned onto another road. I just knew that where-ever I was going, it would be the proper way. At this point in my life, all roads lead to the same destination, of that, I was sure.
The cloudy skies gave way almost immediately to a blaring brightness, the cool air of the November day seemed to immediately warm up to the sun's rays. I'd been on the road now for almost 14 hours. I blinked, I didn't feel tired, I hadn't stopped for a rest room stop or to eat, but still felt no hunger or urge to stop driving. I took a few different turns every so often, but mostly, never paid any attention to the towns and cities I passed. They were unreal to me, almost as if they weren't truly there, but ghosts fading in and out of view. Another memory flared up in my mind, and it seemed to take control me of just the same as the last. . . .
I was 24 years old, still alone, no friends, no boyfriends, my family had long since cast me out and wanted nothing further to do with me. My health was poor, and I had been showing my wares at a psychic festival in the Sedgwick County Park where it was held annually. A booth next to me was a fortune teller giving away her gift for $35 a reading. I had held my tongue that I would gladly give the same readings for free, and be far more accurate. But I'd long since given up trying to warn people of anything of the future. They never believed it, and even if they did, it was fixed in stone to happen, so why tell someone of something that couldn't be altered? I had been there two days of the four the festival was open when the fortune teller seemed to notice me. My artworks scattered about my small make-shift booth. Jewelry, paintings, smallish sculptures of creatures never seen before, and a large carving that had taken me nearly 10 years to complete of a woman with her arms upraised screaming at the sky, complete with flowing robes and hair all carved from a discarded trunk of an old White Ash tree that had been removed so a housing development could be made. The city hadn't minded me taking the useless trunk, and I'd worked to make its soundless scream heard.
The fortune teller looked at my wares that day, and shook her head. "You'll never sell anything with such a negative aura around you. People are drawn towards love, happiness and wealth. Such poor and thoughtless effort into your works just drips and oozes with negativity. It's affecting my ability to see clearly into the future's mysteries. If you can't be more positive, leave."
Normally, I am a soft spoken, kind hearted person. And on that day, I wanted to just become invisible. This hustler had just insulted my life's work. I didn't tell her what an old fraud she was in front of her customers, yet she openly mocked me in front of a few people who had been gazing at my works from across the small path that divided the booths down the parkway. Deep inside me the rage swell to the surface, the rage that had been bottled up since I could remember at the age of two. The rage that fueled vicious acts of 'psychic storms' as the governemnt offical had said once. I'd struggled for years to master it, yet it was beyond my ability. The rage seemed to have been built up for eons, not just 24 years. So I smiled and whispered to her softly the prophecy of her fate. "I'd not worry about my negativity, because it is your short-sightedness that has brought upon you the fate of your family. Pack up your things, and you might make it back in time to pack your precious life's work before the storm of Fate rips it all away."
She had glared at me as though I had mocked her own work, and stalked off back to her booth. She had no way of knowing I spoke the truth. The day was cloudless and beautiful, and the forecast was for only a slight possibility of a thunderstorm later in the afternoon. What followed was a hellish storm of historic proportions brought about by the sudden development of a dryline just slightly west of Sedgwick County and created a hellish wave of storms which slammed across the middle of the state in a southeasterly fashion. Her very home, which she had ignored my warnings, was struck directly, nothing was left standing, not even a doorway. She'd lost it all. And I'd known it would happen long before it did. Hours before the dryline had developed, I'd taken my works down, secured my make-shift booth to the hood of my car and taken my life somewhere else, just northeast of where the storm would rage. Safely out of reach and able to keep my life together for a bit longer.
As I had said, there is no point telling people their fortunes, they never listen to what you have to say and it can't be altered anyway. So why bother. . . Another disturbance brought me out of my thoughts, ever-loudening sirens blasted down the highway, I obliged them and pulled over to the shoulder, as they passed, I was stuck waiting as every bastard on the highway seemed to think this was an opportunity to get ahead of my ever slow 75 mph driving. I let them, my mind content to roam over what had been my life. . .
At 26 years old, only two years later, I had been notified that my parents had both passed away, and I was the sole beneficiary of their estate and belongings. Their estate was a slightly better car than I had, and a massive amount of "junk" which had been collected over their 35 years of marriage. I had been required by law to go and receive it all. So unhappily, I had. The car they had left behind was a nice older modeled Dodge Durango. It was in pristine condition for its age, and had a much better milage than my current car. With no payments on it, and a cheaper insurance rate than my old lugger, I simply switched vehicles and changed the insurance into my name. I felt a little bad that there was no hollowness, no sense of loss in finding out I was now truly alone in the world. But after all, I'd never had friends, and my parents had always shunned me because of my natural abilities and thought I was a servent of the devil.
After dealing with their estate, keeping what I felt was useful and giving the rest away to charity, I went back to my life knowing nothing really had changed. But in fact it all had. What little good I had in my life was now gone. I found myself trapped in the same circle of rumors as when I was a child. My parents demise was being blamed on my ability to "dabble in Witchcraft". I had always snorted at such remarks, as a True Witch would agree, what I had wasn't something that could be "dabbled"; as it was a natural gift from the evolution of life. A fluke presense of power that any human was capable of if they'd let go of their lifetime of teachings that such were impossible and evil. But the rumors were more vicious. Even the police investigated me for a while, seeming to think that I had something to do with my parents' deaths. That I hadn't been "sad enough" during the funeral and that somehow proved everyone's beliefs that I was responsible. Although no formal charges were carried and the corener's office had said their deaths were not foul play—I found myself yet more isolated and my precious works of art even harder to sell.
My health dwingled along with my hopes and dreams. I'd watched them all crash and burn like a jet from the sky after a vicious hurricane caught it. There was no recovering from this death sprial. I knew that. And after one ER trip to the next, I knew now that this wasn't a life that was worth clinging too. But I stayed strong for my only companion. A large furry black Maine Coon mix whom I'd named "Mew". He loved me dearly, and went with me without complaint. Sitting on the dashboard or passenger seat during our roadtrips and travels. Staying at my side while I worked on more artworks, and even in a harness at my side during my outdoors sellings. He was always there. My constant companion, my silent would-be lover if he weren't a cat.
Then...just two months prior to this very moment sitting on the shoulder of a highway with my blinker on, waiting for my turn to go into traffic...I had awoken from a night's sleep to find my friend, my life's companion dead. He'd passed away in his sleep, curled faithfully at my side, his face resting lovingly underneath my chin, his little black paws, smattered by grey hairs from age wrapped around my neck in a last embrace...I'd wanted to die right then with him. I couldn't bare the thought of going on alone. He had been my only comfort since I was 18 years old when I was first on my own. He'd been with me for all those years, through all those hardships. And now he was gone. For the first time since I'd gotten into the car and started driving, I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks. A wave of pain so strong I felt a wail of despair edging up my throat, I swallowed it back and shook my head violently, I slammed on my gas and steered brutially into traffic, blaring horns and shouts of anger and surprise greeted me, but I didn't care. I wanted—no I needed to move from that spot, the place where grief had found me again.
My resolve was tighter than before now. . .My destination was more important. It seemed almost urgent that I get there and complete what Fate had drawn for me. This was a life I no longer wanted, not that I'd ever wanted it to begin with, but now the pain was too great for even the numbness to overcome.
By the time I'd reached Arizona, it was well after midnight. Darkness seemed a little comfort, the air was cooling off again as I headed now in a more northwestern direction, headed where my instincts told me to drive. There were signs everywhere now, luring tourists to the famous trails for the Grand Canyon, offering burrow rides down the hiking trails...But none of these interested me. Finally, I turned down a dirt path that wasn't named, I knew this was where I needed to be. I was alone, no one on the highway to see me go off-road, no one to ask me any questions. The early morning sky was breath-takingly clear. I drove for only an hour before I stopped, turned off the car and got out. I didn't bother with the keys, if someone wanted the car, it was theirs. From here on out, it didn't matter to me.
I walked, and for the first time, I looked up. The Milkyway Galaxy's band was extremely bright, every inch of the sky seemed filled with amazement. I could even see the fuzzy outline of the Andromeda Galaxy in the pure dark sky. I didn't need a flashlight, I didn't need a map. I just walked. Didn't matter if I became lost, I knew where I was going, as though drawn there by some invisible force, following a road no one but I could see. It was pre-dawn when I finally just stopped. It was the first time I looked down from the sky since leaving my car. In front of me was a void, total blackness peering up at me from the depths of the gorge I'd stumbled upon. My feet were inches from the edge. My heart quickened, whether in fear or excitment I couldn't say. I just knew this was where I needed to be. I watched the blackness give way to light, slowly the beauty and majesty of the Grand Canyon unfolded before me. Wild and untamed, this wasn't the tourist attraction part, but the part seldom seen by human eyes in centuries.
Freedom had never seemed so close, the wind channeled through the canyon walls seemed to sing the same song that'd been inside my heart for many years, this was what had brought me here. The song of saddness, the song of the Ages. Whispering among the rocks, plants and the wind around me, promises of salvation, a final end to my pain, and a sense of belonging wrapped up in me. I felt my arms slowly lift from my sides, the wind dancing along my body and closed my eyes. The urge to move forward was powerful and I was so wrapped up in my sense of finding that one place I was meant to be, that I must have not heard the approach of another behind me.
The sound of a semi-disel engine being cut startled me into staggering backwards a step to look around. There, among the sparse desert life, sat a large bedless disel. I blinked, suddenly disorintated and confused, the song I'd been hearing drifted away and reality seemed to crush back in around me, filling me with that sense of loss and aching that had drawn me there. The disel was alone, empty and abandoned, yet I knew that it hadn't been there while I had approached. It was directly behind me, I would have stumbled upon it while I walked. And I had just heard that engine cut off, as though it had been running not moments before. As the thoughts rolled through my mind, my eyes took in the sight of the disel sudden becoming a mass of twisting metal, and as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The massive truck was gone, and in its place a huge bi-pedal robot stood looking down at me, and suddenly knelt down, his face mere feet from me, that part alone on him towered over me, yet no fear washed through me, only an odd sense of not being alone anymore.
"You don't seem afraid—are you not surprised to see me standing here before you?" The giant robot asked, its—no, his voice a gentle soft rumble despite his size.
I felt my head shake. "No, nothing surprises me in life." I heard myself say, and knew it was true. I hadn't been surprised by anything in life since I was a small child.
"I am not uninclined to hear that. But I am surprised to find you out here. So very far from your home." There was a hint of something in his voice that drew my attention, and made that ancient anger stir deep within me at his next words. "It is dangrous for you to travel so far from civilization alone."
I felt my back straighten and a frown grow upon my face. "What would you know of danger to me? I am not afraid of death. I welcome it." The words were new on my lips, yet they felt right somehow.
The giant robot seemed to study me in silence for a moment, than let out a great whoosh of air through his body as my mind translated it to a sigh of resignation. "You are not here by happenstance, are you? Or do you even know, I wonder. . ."
My irritation was mounting, I had come here to find my peace, and now it was being vanquished by a giant alien robot, for no creature such as this could be indiginous to Earth without being seen before hand. But there was almost a dark irony in this alien's presense. Would the Life itself, who struggled so greatly to prevent me from achieveing any happiness or peace from birth to this point it seemed, now thwart my peace by the presense of an alien? "The reasons for my being at this place are gifted to me by birth right—you're being here is not. What do you want?" I turned fully from my fate and faced the giant robot. His large eyes—optics maybe—studied me for another agonizing second before responding their brightness casting myself and the area surrounding me in a blue haze in the pre-dawn light.
"You're home is in Kansas, and this is far from it. Why did you come here, to some place so isolated that not a human has set foot in this area for more than half a century?" His deep voice was at once soothing and irritating to hear. I remained silent, folding my arms in defiance, giving him the best glare I could afford given my situation, which was one of my better 'death glares' if I say so myself. His optics flickered about my body, seeming to take in everything in a second before answering himself. "Your vehicle, left so far away has no food, clothing, water or any other essentials for a human to survive so far from home—you have no intentions of leaving this place, do you?" His voice softened a little, easing the feeling of irritation, a feeling of relief spread out from my stomach, at the time, I couldn't understand why I was relieved the knowledge of my destiny had struck him.
"And what is it to you if I had no intentions of returning to a place I am not welcome?" I asked, surprised to find my voice quivering slightly as though on the verge of tears. My legs were suddenly shaky, threatening to bring me to my knees, I locked my knees back and tightened my muscles, refusing to show weakness to some alien intruder. "How do you know so much about me? Since you seem to know I'm from Kansas and that I brought nothing with me on this...journey." My eyes raced across his giantic frame. For a moment, a flicker of fear raced through my mind. Something deep inside of me growled enemy, but that part seemed so far away at the time.
"I know more about you than you could dream of, young Misasuki Misako. But perhaps now I should introduce myself before I go into such details. But first, would you please step away from the canyon rim?" I sensed a bit of anxiety in his voice, a motion almost to quick to notice as his optics seemed to gauge the distance between me and the rim.
His nervous calculation confused me, so I looked behind me and realized yet again how close I was to achieving my goal. Somehow I had become distracted from it. But now I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering the song of the wind, the call of the ancient gorge below me—and felt my body lean backwards into the wind as it seemed to fold back against my shoulders and hair like a lover's carress. A soft sound of movement brought my eyes open and to notice my 'savior' was much closer than previous, although still a good distance away to likely minimize the risk of the rocks being too thin to carry his weight. "Fine." I took a small step forward, away from the edge of my freedom. "Speak your peace."
The robot seemed to nod in appreciation to my—however slight—cooperation. "My name is Optimus Prime, and I have been watching over you in secret since you were very small. Your sudden disappearance from your home gave all of us a jolt."
I narrowed my eyes, that other part of me which seemed to growl becoming more alive and closer to the surface than it'd been in years. "Optimus Prime. You're a—Transformer. Like the movies. I thought they were just science fiction. Fanciful cartoons turned into live-action movies out of lack of original concepts." I shook my head, sliding one foot back a little, prepared to continue with my plan, as I was obviously now delirious from my time in the desert and from driving out here. "You're a delusion brought on by dehydration and starvation."
Optimus Prime remained motionless for a moment, not even his optics flickered, he just stared straight into my eyes. I shifted a bit uncomfortably, but the growl of that darker side of me, the part of me that hated the world for how it had treated me began to surface. A small snarl of impatience and anger escaped my lips before I could stop it. "I am no delusion, although I do detect you are in a state of dehydration, you are remarkably well off for such a time without nutrition and proper care. I assure you. I am real." When I made no move to interrupt him again, he continued, satisfied I would listen without remark. "As I stated previously, I have watched you since you were very young. You came to our attention due to your very unique abilities. I am sure not even you understand why you are so different from other humans. I am sure you have noticed the distance others place you and the great lengths the government has gone to keep you under...control."
I shook my head, choosing that moment to interrupt, I took two large steps towards Optimus, my unease about him momentarily gone in a flash of anger, my eyes widened and the rush of heat flew through my body as I felt the pressure in my chest build as I yelled. "What do you know of my 'unique abilities'? What do you know of how I feel? How can you say that? How can you stand there and say I don't know or understand what others have done to me my whole life?"
"You misunderstand me. . ." But I kept going, not willing to allow him to continue, the rage of my darker half now in full control of me.
"Do you know what it was like? Growing up with the power to...or how it felt when people hated me without even knowing me...? Do you know what it was like to be seperated from other girls and to be called a freak? I had no friends, no one wanted to be around the girl that could twist the elements or speak with animals, no one wanted to associate with someone that could lift you up without touching you, or that could run and slam into the side of an RV and tip it over..." I trailed off, tears running down my face freely, I wiped them away, growling in anger at both my lack of control and my show of weakness.
Optimus sat back slightly now, his optics flickering around my body once again, the wind had become chilly suddenly, I shivered in spite of myself and fought to regain my control. "I didn't mean to imply that. I understand how you could feel..."
I shook my head angrily, self-control cast aside again in another wave of anger and rage. "You could never understand! You could never understand what it is like to be isolated in a crowd. To feel so alone while surrounded by people. I'm almost 35 years old, I've never had a boyfriend, never had a 'girls night out', never had a single birthday party, I've never been kissed or held while I cried! I've never...I've never..." been loved. I couldn't get the rest of the sentence out, but the anger left me in a rush, a long sad sob seemed to come from deep in my throat, I felt the rocks and dirt on my knees as my legs suddenly gave way.
Optimus was silent for a while as I just let myself burn away the pent up emotions that were spilling out of me. He seemed almost to expect such a thing to happen, and made no motion to end the event quickly. I wasn't sure how long exactly I held my face in my hands and cried, but when I suddenly threw my hands on the ground and lifted my head to scream: "WHY?!" Before breaking down into sobs again, it seemed to startle him out of his silence. "I do not have the answer for this." His voice was soft, my hands closed around handfuls of plants and dirt as I kept my face lowered and hidden in my hair, tears falling down on my legs and shorts. "But I can give you the explaination I do know."
I looked up at him, a mild glare through the tears mostly hidden by my hair as it fell over my face. "What could you possibly know as an explaination for my life? Are you the cause? Are you the reason?" The anger was edging back into my voice, that dark part of me that was always just below the surface growled deep inside once again, enemy. I was almost liken to agree.
Optimus gave another sound which closely resembed a human's sigh through his side vents, light puffs of dust kicked up from the exhaust. "As with all creatures throughout time and space, our race—Transformers as you know us—have fought our own wars. To make a long story short, one such war carried us to your planet, Earth. Our enemy, the Decepticons, and their leader, Megatron waged a war for dictatorship and sovernty over our home planet—Cybertron. His views and beliefs were drastically different than most of the population including the ruling council over our race. Thus a war was started." A brief pause, I made not move to interrupted, so he continued, I turned my head to gaze out over the lip of the canyon as he spoke. "We had an artifact which was the lifeblood of our race, we called it the Allspark. This artifact granted life to us and allowed us to replinish ourselves and our world for peace and prosperity. Megatron and his army wanted to gain control of this artifact, we could never allow it.
"As he seemed closer and closer to achieving his objective, we did the only thing in our power left to prevent him from commiting sacralige and using the Allspark for evil. We launched it into the depths of space, but Megatron immediately took after it, and we knew we'd made a mistake, while sparing Cybertron, it would only be a matter of time until he regained the artifact and returned. We pursued." He trailed off for another moment, this time, I spoke up, still looking over at the colors washing through the canyon as the sun began to make a proper appearance above the ridges and distant mountains.
"What has all this got to do with me? I don't have anything to do with your Allspark." I muttered, trying to contain the impatient rage still boiling beneath the surface. In this at least, I was skilled at doing. As the rage had always been present in my life.
"No. In essesnse you're wrong. The Allspark has everything to do with you. Allow me to skip parts in the story to get to the point you need to hear. In a final confrontation between myself and Megatron, which took place more descreetly than your movies suggested, I was finally able to destroy Megatron. The Allspark, which is used to send the sparks of our deceased on to our final destination or a renewed life, was used upon his body. At first we assumed that the Allspark had sent Megatron onward to his final destination, whether the Pit or the Matrix, we couldn't know.
"It wasn't until months later, while in the presense of the Allspark that I learned he was destined to be reincarnated, as you call it, and that immediately sent a shudder throughout our people who remained on Earth. Word travels fast however, and the Decepticons learned that their leader would return in another form. Those dedicated began their search, as the Allspark had at least indicated that he would be reincarnated in the form of the intellectual indiginous lifeform here. For a very long time, the Earth was scoured for signs of a human with a spark—for decades, everyone's hunt, both ours and the Decepticons that remained, could find nothing.
"That was when a shocking truth was revealed. A human man, who had been a high ranking military black-ops sniper had been forced to escort an important political figure to the base where we housed the Allspark. As he was leaving, alone, he passed the chamber of the Allspark, it was that moment that the Allspark shot out a blast of energy, striking him in such a way his DNA was infused by the touch of the Allspark. At last it seemed the vessel for Megatron's reincarnation had been chosen. So we waited...
"After years of study, the human got tired of the attention and unwanted tests, Megatron's spark was obviously not in the heart of this soldier, but perhaps his offspring. So upon his discharge from the military, he was given the understanding that should he have children, those children would be tested equally. When he bore his first offspring, a male-child, there was much anticipation. We all felt that this would be what we had been waiting for, and as the testing began, some of us argued what would be done when we had the reincarnated spark of Megatron reborn on the Earth. The arguments of destroying him permanently were strong, however, it was more reasonable to allow him to live his life out as the creature he dispised most. That seemed the better option and more fitting punishment than just death upon birth.
"Our excitment was destroyed when we discovered this male-child was indeed not the spark of Megatron reborn. The ex-soldier decided the stress on his family was too great, and he chose an operation to terminate his ability to produce offspring. But the reach of the Allspark is long. Years later, after wedding a second time after the stress of his curse destroyed his first marriage, he found himself discovering another child on the way. Enraged, he swore to the military they could simply have the child should it turn out to be male, to prevent the horrors of the testing process with another wife whom he loved. Her pregnancy wasn't easy, many times she nearly lost her unborn, and finally, at the end when we all figured our waiting would continue. She gave birth, and to our unending disappointment, it was a female child." As he rattled on, I listened with growing attention, I knew some of this story, I had heard it from my father himself as he told me of the 'miracle' I was to their life when I was very small, before I began to openly use my abilities and began the down spiral that was my cursed life. The frown on my face was giving way to a look of despair.
"Wait...wait...this ex-soldier sounds like my father!" Optimus allowed the interruption with a brief silence and then continued with his dialogue, I fell silent, wanting to hear the entire story, rather than snippets.
"As time passed, and no further offspring from him were produced, we actually gave up searching. The Decepticons were insistant in continuing their hunt, but we knew they'd find nothing either. An open ear for the unusual in the human world was all the attention we gave the matter. And then quite suddenly, we heard news we couldn't believe. The very child we dismissed without testing because she was a female child, was producing the very oddities we were on the watch for. And as we listened more intently, we discovered a great war had erupted within the Decepticon faction, they knew their leader had been reborn before we had, and a rift had formed as in what to do with this information. Part of them wanted to return him to his rightful place as leader, regardless of present form or gender, and the other part wanted to have him eternally destroyed, unwilling to bow to the whims of a female flesh-child with the remnants of Megatron's spark.
"It was this rift that gave us the time to track down the child, and to finally have her tested. My own CMO, Ratchet, ran these tests, with more delicacy than before, as the female child was very sickly and fragile. But his tests were immediately positive. The more invasive testing did not need to be done, it could be seen clearly and with little trouble that within this small human baby no more than 2 years old, the spark of Megatron rested. This combination of spark and human body was hardly compatible, we had not anticipated the possibity of a literal combination, or that there would be issues due to this incompatibility. But the human female's body began to change and to adapt to the new demands this strange new addition required. It was amazing to see. While in the womb, the mother's genetics forced the small unborn to form as was required through eons of genetic coding, but here was this young human female, changing—losing inside what made her human, and gaining something more...
"While her outside didn't alter much, her looks remained that of a small human female child, her internal structure began to shift dramatically. Lung capacity was different, the heart shaped differently, a special organ was created to house and utilize the energy the spark would give out, but it was well hidden within the incredibly strong ribcage and behind the much larger pump for the heart than most humans had. She was amazing to see, her eyes capable to seeing things no human could detect. And than...the side effects started to occur. Those small things that humans aren't compatible with. The by product of the energy the spark produced caused a mix of signals within her body, causing nerves to fire off wrong, triggering massive pain." He stopped, looking at me hard with his huge blue optics, the words had hit me as though they were fists. I was hearing my life explained to me. All the strange doctor visits, the requirement of being placed under anestheic for hours at a time, the constant pain I felt was I had grown up.
It was a hard thing to witness. Hearing your life described in such a casual third-party way. Fresh tears started to fall from my eyes before I could stop them. A new wave of emotion washed over me, one of humliation and shame. I had been studied as though I were an object found buried deep in the ground for scrutiny. I had been violated in a way this...this...the word failed me, a more righteous anger was taking a hold of me, I had grabbed a hold of a handful of the bush next to me and was squeezing it, blood dripped from my closed palm, the branch—as with most of the desert shrubbery—was thorned. "You are speaking about me, aren't you?" I looked up, my normal eye color had obviously changed again, a moment of surprise washed over his face before quickly disappearing.
"Yes. Yes I am." His ackowledgement was as painful as my prior realization that he had been speaking of me. A part of me had hoped I was wrong, but the rest of me knew it was true. "You are suffering because of the karma, as your race calls it, of Megatron. He did much evil in his life, and the side effects of that are burdened upon you."
My mouth fell open and for a few minutes, I couldn't get enough air, it seemed, to speak. I was being punished for something I had done in a prior life. There was deep irony in this, as my entire life I had always said 'What did I do in a past life to deserve this?' and now I finally had the answer. If Megatron was as evil as everything I knew about him through the media sources claimed, I was in for a long life of torment. Finally, words came out of my mouth, and I almost didn't recognize them. My brain was working without telling me what it was thinking again. Not the first time in my life I'd been floored by news and my brain knew what to do and say. "So, those who were trying to kill me through shooting me and running me down were supposed to be Decepticons? And what of those who continuously tried to kidnap me? Decepticons also?"
Optimus stayed silent, and for a while I wondered if he was going to now throw me over the edge of the canyon since I now knew what I once was. His optics never left me, his soft gaze remained steady as my mind roiled against all the information, rolling it over and over again. All my pain, all my mistreatment, all the bad looks, all the massive isolation, the feeling of being utterly alone while surrounded by other people. It was true, I was alone. As I had adapted the saying: 'Just human enough...' it seemed to fit now. Finally, after a long silence, the sun was now high enough in the sky that its warmth was cutting through the desert cold, my urge to shiver having stopped finally, Optimus began to speak again, slowly and carefully, as though trying to make sure every word he said would be clearly understood. "You have noticed, obviously, their attempts to obtain or kill you. And I am also sure you have noticed their sudden absence in attempts upon you. They have not stopped, this tactic is well-known to us, their silence is a bad thing. A very bad thing." This caught my attention again, there was something in this tone, the careful way he was saying it, the tone in which he was saying it, and the odd emotion my Empathy was picking up that sent a jolt of terror through my stomach. "We have heard rumors, which I have no reason to disbelieve, that state the Decepticons are more unified now.
"You are far from becoming old. Have you realized that you do not age the same way humans do? How you seem to retain youth even when you should begin to show a fading of it? It is not simply 'good genetics', although genetics have everything to do with it. Our race ages very slowly, we mature over vast spans of Earth-based time, and while you may not have such a lifespan, you could very well watch the ages of the Earth come and go before falling into your Twilight years." I found myself suddenly wanting a mirror. For me, mirrors were symbols of vanity and I hated them. I found my reflection revolting. The face that stared back at me had always seemed so foreign, as though an imposter stared back through the reflected glass. Was this because of Megatron's impression upon me? Was I me? Or was I Megatron? I hadn't looked in a mirror since I was 5 years old. Optimus' voice stirred me from my thoughts once more. "You do not know what you look like now, do you?" There was a hint of surprise in his voice, although the edge of wariness remained.
I shook my head. "I never felt right with my reflection. It was wrong. It was a lie." I said before I could stop the words. I'd never spoken them out loud before. They sounded painfully stupid. A mirror spoke more truth than most people.
"You should, I think you'd be surprised at what you saw." Optimus said, then suddenly grew more serious."Please, I have spoken the truth to you, given you reason to understand the pain you are enduring, allow me the same privilage, why are you here?"
A shadow seemed to have fallen over me, a deep ache seemed to form again in the pit of my stomach, and like a black hole had formed, seemed to suck all the life out of me as quickly as I had begun to regain it."I came here to die." I slowly got to my feet, my body ached, hands throbbed and knees burned. Blood trailed down from where I had been pierced by thorns and sharp rocks from my fall and subquent rage of gripping the flora near me. Optimus remained silent, I still don't know to this day if that silence was to allow me to say more, or if it was too shocking to hear it said so calm and plainly. But I continued without thought of the impact on him. "It is a beautiful and ancient place. I've felt drawn to this place for a very long time, and I decided two days ago, when I left Kansas so suddenly this would be where I would allow myself to rest. In the ancient and beautiful wonder of the Grand Canyon. My heart showed me where to go, so isolated, peaceful, far from humanity, I would rest peacefully, my body returning to the earth before I was discovered, if even ever then."
After a few short moments from my last, Optimus spoke again. "I can not permit you to end your life. It is not right for one to terminate their life without just cause..."
I barked a loud angry laugh, it echoed through the canyons like a sudden gunshot, animals in the distance cried out in both surprise and anger at the sudden disruption of their silence. "No just cause? My life has been filled with pain. People on the streets will sooner spit on me than give me a smile, and despite the fact I am entirely alone in my life I have no reason to continue it. And you tell me I have no just cause for suicide? I have no reason to not kill myself!"
For the first time since I had first seen him, he suddenly seemed impatient, his optics darted quickly around our surroundings. I felt an odd prickling go down my spine, the fine hairs on my arms and my neck responded to odd mix of sensations attacking me, I dismissed them. I wouldn't let his sudden paranoia divert me from my goal. "Misasuki Misako, you will accompany me back and I can assure you, your life will be more meaningful. I have agreed to stay in the background by obligation to your government, however now is not the time to honor such when things are this dangerous. Terminating your life is not something to take lightly, nor to do on the whim of grief. I can give you the answers you have always wanted to hear..." He stopped in mid-sentence, suddenly rising to his full height.
I felt my dry throat search desperately for a way to swallow. His size was definitely intimidating, and I don't intimidate easily. Having been short my whole life, I now felt absolutely miniscule next to his foot. But the wonder and terror of his size gave way to a massive wave of emotions that were not mine and I was pretty sure they were not Optimus'. A mixture of delight, sadistic excitment, and vicious hatered washed over me, the part of me deep inside seemed to respond to it immediately. My hand automatically raised to feel the air. Psychometry is another cursed gift I contain. It would take only moments to search the state using the tiny air particles, and quicker if the thing I searched for was close. Immediately, a blur of images flashed through my mind in dizzying speeds, I seperated them all until I found that of a military jet traveling far faster than any human-piloted jet or military drone and virtually silent as it—no, he—flew through the canyons with a graceful ease that again betrayed the lack of a human pilot. "Great. Where there is one—trouble always comes in threes." I muttered.
Optimus looked at me and gave me a very grave expression. "You must come with me if you want to survive."
I felt my eyebrows shoot up and a strange laugh escape me. "But I don't want to live." And I took three steps back quickly, to the edge, I could feel bits of rock and sand falling into the canyon. I felt my heart slam rapidly against my ribcage, as though it would burst through at any moment. A wild and sudden insanity seemed to grip me. "I am the one who controls my destiny! No one else! In this, at last, I have a say!" A fierce joy raced through my veins, filling me with liquid fire as I held my hands out to my sides and raised my arms up and leaned backwards. I could hear Optimus' shout of denial, but the sensation of free fall had already taken hold, I watched the world tilt, the sky was so beautiful here...the colors amazing...yes, it was a good place to die.
With that, there was a sudden blast of pain through my back and the back of my head. With the thought of the ground being hundreds of yards down still flickering as the world went black.