The Way It Should Have Been

It should have been different.

He shouldn't have died.

It should have been me.

To feel the cold embrace of death.

That beckoning hand reaching out for me.

I should have taken it. Taken it and ran. Ran from my problems, ran from my fears, my hopes, my dreams. I Ran from my past, ran from my future. I ran from death.

What was I thinking?

Me a sniper? That's a good one. I'm barely a marine. I'm just a stupid girl. A stupid girl that made stupid mistakes and that cost a life.

No.

Not any life.

His life.

My Hero's life. My idol's life. One foolish mistake. A stupid mistake. A mistake only a baby just out of camp could make.

And now he's gone.

I should blame the Spartan, he started this all. He started this when he shot the Brute in cold blood; they were our allies, they wished no harm on us. And then when he turned on that poor Jackal, I had to step in. We all did. I raised my rifle at him as a warning.

And that's when I ruined everything.

I was shaking, shaking so much I pulled the trigger. The bullet didn't do much damage, just grazed the Spartan's armour.

But still the damage was done.

The Spartan turned his shotgun aimed and ready to shoot. I dived behind my idol and ran, I fled, like the coward I was. I ran through the trees, never looking back.

I was a fool. I am a fool. What am I doing here, playing solider? I should just go back home where I belong. I have nothing to contribute to this war. I have no talents, no skills. And now because of my mistake he was dead.

I shouldn't be here.

I should never have enlisted.

I shouldn't even be alive.

I should've died when I was 15. I should be nothing but a rotting corpse in the ground.

But something showed me pity. Be it fate, destiny, God. I don't know, but I curse them. They should have let me die. Life would flow so much smoother without me. I would never have been sent to military school. I would never have enlisted for the UNSC. And I would never have gotten the foolish notion of me becoming a sniper.

And he wouldn't have died.

My Hero, my Idol, my inspiration. Lance Corporal Nigel 'Niles' Osborne. He was the type of sniper I wanted to be. He was the type of solider I wanted to be. I saw him shoot once. It was an amazing sight. He took out an Elite sniper with ease. Even under all the pressure. I will never forget that moment.

Oh how I wish I was more like him. Just to be a tiny bit like him would be a dream come true. But I will never be like him. I'm a fool to think that I could be like him. That's a disgrace to his memory.

The way it should have been…

That Spartan should have killed me. He should have broken my body and shattered my bones. My blood should be staining the grass. Not Niles'. I have escaped Death twice now. Twice now he has almost wrapped his bony hands around my throat. Twice now I've beaten him. Somehow, someway, I've beaten him. I don't know when my luck will run out, but I pray it is soon. I pray for the day I die.

If I could I would do it myself.

It's an easy thing to do. Just grab a blade and drag it across my wrist, over my old scar. My failure.

But no, I'm too much of a coward to do that now. I don't know what's happened to me but even if I did have the blade in my hand, I couldn't end my life. Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I don't have the strength to do it.

I am denied my only release. Pain. I can't, I just can't.

And I think I know why.

If I die here Niles sacrifice would be in vain. His death would mean nothing. To kill myself after he saved me, that would be the biggest insult to his memory.

No.

I will fight.

I will become one of the best damn snipers the UNSC has ever had. I don't care how long it takes me, one year or ten years. It could take me half my life, I don't care. I will do it. And I will avenge Niles death. I will find that Spartan again. Somehow, someway, someday. That Spartan will die.

Hector-011 will die.

My name is Catherine Elizabeth Silvers and I will have my revenge.

RIP Niles, you shall be dearly missed.

Niles belongs to my good friend I.H

and Hector Belongs to my other good friend Exilo

This is my little Tribute to one of my favorite characters in the Halo RP.

May He rest in peace.