Written for the Golden Snitch Forum's challenge, Ollivander's Wand Shop.
Wand Core: Dragon Heartsring: Write about Charlie Weasley.
Word count: 827.
It's all about the Weasleys. Charlie, while on a rare visit from Romania, overhears Fred, and George, , talking about the Chudley Cannons. Loosely based on the old Abbott and Costello routine, "Who's on First?. I own none of the characters recognized herein.
It was good to be home. Especially after various injuries, a dead dragon, bad luck, and just plain human error. Charlie Weasley sat in the living room of the Burrow, trying to get lost in a muggle book he had been meaning to read, War and Peace. In the kitchen, Charlie could hear voices. Having nothing else to do but read philosophical novels set in nineteenth century Russia, he focused on said voices.
They were Fred and George, and apparently, they were talking about Quidditch. The Chudley Cannons, to be precise.
G: So what's the Seeker's name again? I keep forgetting it.
F: Who's the Seeker, not What.
G: That's what I'm TELLING you! I want to know Who the seeker is!
F: I TOLD you. Who is the Seeker.
G: Well, who IS the SEEKER?
F: Who!
G: Well, what the heck is the seeker's name?
F: Who.
G: The SEEKER.
F: Who?
G: Well, what's the Seeker's name?
F: No, that's the Beater's name.
G: Who's name?
F: No, Who is the Seeker?
At this point Charlie chuckled. Those nutcases. He remembered his own Quidditch phase. Fred and George were sounding like two muggle comedians he had seen a video of once. Cabbot and Astello? No. Abbott and Costello.
G: Well, can you tell me their names?
F: Okay. Who's the Seeker, What's one of the Beaters, and I Don't Know is the Keeper.
G: Well, who IS the Seeker?
F: No, What is the BEATER's name.
G: Well, what IS it?
F: What IS his name.
"FRED! GEORGE! Put THE DISHES IN THE SINK! YOU'VE BEEN JABBERING ABOUT QUIDITCH LONG ENOUGH..." Molly Weasley then followed up this philippic with the statement that dishes were incapable of putting themselves in a sink. Charlie walked into the kitchen. "Hello, Mother" he said. Molly wasted no time. "Charlie," she said, "Make sure they put the dishes in the sink." "Will do, mum." Charlie replied, grinning at his younger brothers. "You heard your mother..." he said. Molly searched her older son's face for signs of satire and found none. Fred and George grabbed the dishes closest to them and loudly deposited them in the sink.
Charlie inquired of the nature of the twin's conversation. "You were talking about Quidditch?" "Yeah." said Fred. "George can't remember who the Chudley Cannons are, no matter HOW many times I tell him." "It's not like you know any more than I do." George scoffed and turned to Charlie. "Fred has no words in his vocabulary except for pronouns." Molly resolved to come back later. She could do this task more effectively and much speedier, but she knew that assisting her sons would only encourage extended laziness. Now, if she had a house elf...
Charlie sighed. He would let them work it out for themselves. Meanwhile, the dishes wouldn't wash or put themselves in the sink, and War and Peace was not going to read itself.
Charlie made his way back to the sofa and found his place in the book. He had been reading it for the whole after and still barely made a dent. Charlie was a intensely fast reader.
Anyway, t was good to be home. Especially after various injuries, a dead dragon, bad luck, and just plain human error. Charlie Weasley sat in the living room of the Burrow, trying to get lost in a muggle book he had been meaning to read, War and Peace. In the kitchen, Charlie could hear voices. Having nothing else to do but read philosophical novels set in nineteenth century Russia, he focused on said voices.
They were Fred and George, and apparently, they were talking about Quidditch. The Chudley Cannons, to be precise.
G: So what's the Seeker's name again? I keep forgetting it.
F: Who's the Seeker, not What.
G: That's what I'm TELLING you! I want to know Who the seeker is!
F: I TOLD you. Who is the Seeker.
G: Well, who IS the SEEKER?
F: Who!
G: Well, what the heck is the seeker's name?
F: Who.
G: The SEEKER.
F: Who?
G: Well, what's the Seeker's name?
F: No, that's the Beater's name.
G: Who's name?
F: No, Who is the Seeker?
At this point Charlie chuckled. Those nutcases. He remembered his own Quidditch phase. Fred and George were sounding like two muggle comedians he had seen a video of once. Cabbot and Astello? No. Abbott and Costello.
G: Well, can you tell me their names?
F: Okay. Who's the Seeker, What's one of the Beaters, and I Don't Know is the Keeper.
G: Well, who IS the Seeker?
F: No, What is the BEATER's name.
G: Well, what IS it?
F: What IS his name.
Some things would never change. However, Charlie did not want to hear another word of this conversation.