The flight back to Mordhaus from Norway had been silent and uncomfortable; Toki sat apart from the rest of the group, his knees drawn up to his chest, his bright blue eyes just as wide as they were when Nathan had pulled him off the ice.
"I killeds him," Toki had whimpered, shrinking back into Nathan's strong arms, "I...I killeds him..."
Nathan had said nothing; what could he say? Only Toki would be horrified to have killed a dying man...a dying man who had left his back a scarcrossed wreck and part of his mind a warped, dark place. He had simply picked Toki up, carrying him bridal-style away from the ominously creaking ice.
Once they reached the Murdermobile, Nathan quietly instructed Skwisgaar to drive back; he took the Swede's spot beside Toki in the side cars, watching in a mixture of confusion and pain as Toki's wide eyes leaked silent tears.
They were still leaking now, as the Hatredcopter landed; Pickles, Skwisgaar, and Murderface hurried off the monstrous helicopter as quickly as they could, followed a little more sedately by Ofdensen. Toki made no movement in any direction; he hugged his knees tightly and began to tremble.
"Toki," Nathan mumbled, and his voice sounded stupid and clumsy and harsh to his own ears. How was he supposed to know what to say?
Still, he felt he had to do something; so he went over to Toki, sitting down beside him on the couch, rubbing the back of his neck and feeling like the world's most gigantic ass because he couldn't think of a single comforting thing to say.
"Nat'n?" Toki whispered, "Yous...yous don't think I's a bads guy, does you? I...I didn'ts meant to kills him..."
How the fuck could he think he's the bad guy? Nathan thought incredulously. Toki was looking at him now, baby blue eyes begging for Nathan to answer his question.
Fuck it... Nathan pulled Toki into his lap, where he could look his youngest band mate in the eyes.
"It wasn't your fucking fault, kid," he said, trying to gentle his rough voice and get his point across at the same time. "You slipped on ice--it was a freak accident. Don't...don't do this to yourself. Okay?"
Toki was still trembling, but Nathan thought he saw the tears tailing off; that was something, wasn't it?
Then Toki laid his head against Nathan's broad shoulder, and Nathan couldn't suppress a smile; this was something else entirely.
Something pretty fucking wonderful.