Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Sadly.
Warnings: Rated M because, well, Mello has got a bit of a mouth on him when he's angry, that and he drags poor Matt into the cursing world with him.
I should say this before you start to read it though; this was meant to be a funny argument. In no way should it be taken as a serious fight between them. I would imagine a fight about Matt not paying attention would happen a lot...so again, don't take it seriously.
"Oi, asshole! Are you paying attention? This is important!" Mello glared down at his red headed partner sitting in his chair, if that wasn't already enough to piss the blond off, Matt wasn't bothering to even pay attention.
"Busy," was the only response Matt could mumble out as he played something on his psp.
"Matt! Look at me when I'm talking to you, and I asked you a fucking question!" Mello folded his arms against his chest while standing in front of his gamer.
As if someone put the red head on autopilot, he answered with a bored expression, "And I answered you…I said I was busy."
"You're not busy asshole." The ever over-emotional blond lowered his voice to a growl, clearly growing angrier by the second.
Matt looked up for a matter of two seconds, starting to get annoyed himself, then brought his head back down to his game, "I am too. What? You think, Zack Fair will level himself up, and beat Angeal on his own? My ass, he will."
"I don't give a rat's ass about Zack-Fucking Fair! I'm trying to explain to you your role in the-"
Matt suddenly bolted up in his - well Mello's - seat. He glared, then did an over-theatrical gasp and pointed and yelled, "Blasphemy! How dare you! You evil sinner!" Matt put on an arrogant smirk as he saw Mello's disgusted look.
The one thing Mello completely despised was the way Matt would always make fun of him for being religious. The cherry on the sundae though, was the way he would call him a sinner, Matt didn't believe in a higher power, so in Mello's mind he had no right to accuse him of sinning.
Mello bent down and put his hands on the armrest, trapping his red headed partner. With venom in his voice, he tried to threaten his gamer, "Listen, Matthew, I don't fuckin care about your goddamn game, and don't you dare call me a sinner again, or I swear I'll punch that smug look off your face! Understand Matthew?"
"Like that'll stop me. And don't you dare call me Matthew again. Got it, bitch-boy."
"What!"
"You heard me, bitch-boy."
Mello's face seemed to go into a permanent scowl, but that quickly changed as the smirk grew on Matt's face. Still trapping Matt beneath the chair, the two went into a staring contest.
By this time, Mello's mafia buddies had figured out what was going on, it didn't exactly take a top detective to figure it out. Most shook their heads and continued on their way, some muttered a few words but none were audible.
Although, one unfortunate being was pretty new to his surroundings, and didn't exactly know the "ins and outs" of the trade yet. So when he walked by and saw the boss and his right hand man in what was basically a "who-can-kill-who-with-looks-first" match, he was a bit confused.
The new fish stopped another man walking by and asked, "What the hell is wrong with those two?" He then motioned his head in their direction.
"Ohh god, not another fight…" he sighed and grabbed the bridge of his nose, "better not get involved, those two can get rather…testy. It's kinda like a…well just think of it as a…a lover's tiff. Don't take the fight to literally…but still don't get involved either, trust me."
"Yeah, but, shouldn't someone stop them from killing each-"
The two looked over quickly, breaking the starting contest, "Stay out of this, if you know what's good for you," the both of them yelled in unison.
The new guy through his hands up in defense and continued on his way, the other guy shook his head while he followed him.
Matt focused his gaze on his partner, "So can I play my game or not? Or do I have to listen to you bitch and moan about this upcoming heist?"
Mello released his grips on the armrest and turned around; he walked a few steps, stopped, and then turned to face his red head. He took one big step and grabbed the psp from Matt's hands, and he flung it against a wall, smashing it to pieces.
Mello put on a wicked smile, "Now whose gonna be bitchin and moanin? Hmm?"
Matt's face dropped and he stood up from his seat, "Fine, wanna be a prick? Two can play at that game ass-fuck."
Mello watched as his red head walked over to a desk, Mello's desk, to be precise, he opened a drawer, and took out a lock box. At this point Mello felt he had to say something, speaking he quickly he asked, "What the hell are you doing Matt?"
The only response he got was Matt taking out a key from his pocket and opening up the small safe. "Where the hell did you get my key from?"
Matt looked over and smiled evilly, "Swiped it when you weren't looking. I figured you might do something drastic so I took it when you turned your back. But now, can you guess what I'm about to do with this…?" Matt opened the lid to the box, and picked up the blond's pistol.
Mello's eyes widened a bit, he was a gun fanatic, so every gun he ever bought or stole was precious to him. And that particular gun was number sixty-five; yes, Mello was that obsessive that he numbered every single gun he had, and kept track of every single one in that way. Unfortunately, for Mello he loved number sixty-five, it had gotten him out of some tough times, and Matt knew this.
"What are you doing with my child? Tell me now!"
Matt walked over to the closest window, opened it, and whipped the gun. It flew so far out the window, that no one could even tell where it landed, it was now lost forever.
"You killed my child!" Mello screamed.
"You killed my child!" Matt yelled in response. The red head crossed his arms as he took a few steps closer to Mello. "You know video games calm my nerves! And now look at me I'm shaking, and I just might puke if I glance over near my psp again!"
"Well, you know what calms my nerves? Knowing where every single one of my guns is!" Mello mocked what Matt did; he crossed his arms across his chest and took a few steps closer to Matt.
"Ohh please, you have like what? A million other guns?"
"No, more like eighteen other guns…"
Mello turned his back and walked back to where they first started the fight, not even bothering to look at Matt he studied the monitors in front of him, like his life depended on it.
Matt sighed and walked back to Mello's chair, plopping down in it. He rolled the chair a bit closer to Mello and grabbed his blond from the waist, forcing him to sit on Matt's lap.
Matt hugged Mello from behind, talking through the blond's shirt, "If you buy me a psp, I'll get you a new gun, any kind you like too."
Mello glanced back at Matt behind his shoulder and muttered, "Whatever."
Matt smiled and took that as a "Yeah, sorry" and hugged tighter.
All the mafia members breathed a sigh of relief. All thinking the same think of "thank god they're not fighting anymore." None bothered to even say anything about the public display of affection either, for if they did it would result in Mello's fist in their face.
Suddenly Mello spoke up, "I need chocolate now, let go for a minute."
Matt held on a second longer and then finally let go saying, "Get me some cigarettes too. And a lighter, I want a new Zippo!"
"Get the lighter yourself!" Mello said as he walked away into a different room in search of their much needed items.
Matt smiled to himself, then he reached into his back pocket for another hand-held, a Nintendo DS, and started another game, "Alright Yoshi, let's kick Mario's ass."
The new guy, who had been fascinated by the whole situation was now confused. He stopped the same guy from before and asked, "Wait, I…what? You mean they're done fighting? That was it? No blood shed?"
"Like I said before, don't take it too seriously, this happens at least three times a week." The more experienced guy said.
"Yeah but I don't think that type of fighting is really normal."
"No, it's normal. If they didn't fight like that, then we would all be screwed."
The new guy didn't say anymore, but seeing as though Mello was back he continued to watch their interactions. And it looked as though the two were about to get into another fight. Along with every other person there he just walked away and shook his head.
A/N: So this actually took me only like a day to write. The thought just kinda popped into my head when I was listening to a song by The Airborne Toxic Event (Ohh how I love them) and I went from there. Hope you liked it! Please review!