I told my SON readers that I was drifting. Well, it is official now – I have drifted. But it is just for a little while. Promise.
Set this one-shot during the clip from 6/2/2011
/ /
This isn't really anything new, you know?
She's been that girl before; she'll be this woman now.
That girl – hands filled up with disaster after disaster and secrets so close to the surface, that girl who likes to fall in love with impossible people and difficult situations. She's used to chasing down affection from those who cannot seem to give it freely enough. She's used to tossing her heart into the ring and watching it get knocked out with the first punch. That girl – fire starter and rape survivor and a widow without a death in sight – that girl recognizes the signs and doesn't know how to turn away.
But she's a woman now, with children and a divorce and nothing more to hide, and this is one habit she should be able to break.
You don't fall in love with best friends anymore, Bianca. You won't throw your desire up into the air if there is no one to catch it this time, Bianca. You can't imagine that 'straight' will somehow turn a curve in your direction, Bianca.
She's a woman now. She's a woman with bags and bags of caution at her feet. She's been this close before and lost it all – not this time, right? She'll heed the warnings and she'll back away. She'll kill these feelings before they can begin and everything will just return to normal.
Right?
/ /
Marissa pulls her into an embrace and, for a split second, Bianca releases the tension in her body – all the fear that Ricky Torres stirred up, all the past damages that never fully healed, all the need for these oh so familiar feelings to remain silent – Bianca allows her shoulders to relax and her head to slightly push into Marissa's.
For a split second, Bianca forgets the woman she is today and forgets the girl she used to be.
For a split second, Bianca feels a surge of love and protection coming from Marissa Tasker…
…and Bianca wants to drown in it.
/ /
But this is nothing new, is it?
Impossible people and difficult situations, like a damn moth to a lovely flame, and so Bianca makes her escape as quickly as she can. Away from Marissa, away from terrible temptation, away from the trade-off of losing a friend when emotions inevitably come to light.
As she takes a deep breath and as she steadies herself by the wall, maybe Bianca is breaking this habit after all.
Instead of holding on too long, Bianca is the first to let go.
/ /
::end::