I watch him pace back and forth with sad eyes.
Roxas is thinking, which is never a good sign. It means that he is trying to figure out why, why, why; why everything? Why did he exist, why was he Roxas and not whoever his Somebody was – and why didn't he have a heart? Had he committed some crime in a past life? Or why, why was he always so confused? Why.
He wants to know why he is able to use the Keyblade – that much I know. He wants that information more than anything. Roxas believes that if he knows that reason, then all of his questions will finally be answered. I don't think so, to be honest. And isn't there a reason why everyone keeps the answers he's searching for away from him? I know that they are. They never think that I'm listening, but I am.
I don't know what exactly they're keeping from him. Many things, I guess – but some of the secrets I had known like they do. But I can't tell Roxas yet, he's just not ready to know. I want to stop him, to tell him that going after his answers won't help a thing, but I know he's already too far in. I know that even if I told him I loved him, broke down crying and started begging, he would still go.
He has told me countless times that I'm one of his best friends. I don't believe him. If we were best friends, we would be like he was with Xion and Axel, not these two broken people who meet up to try and connect so they're fixed, two broken people who find out that they just don't fit. Maybe that's part of the reason why he's going. He wants to see if there is anyone out there who he can truly fit next to, and with.
So apparently, it is not enough to just have me. I'm not that special, anyway. If I was Roxas' position, I probably wouldn't give a damn about myself either. All I am is that screwed-up witch hiding in her white room, drawing all the time, thinking that somehow things will repair themselves. And I mess things up. I destroy. I hurt. And that's all I do.
So for now, I'm just going to watch him while I can. I'll continue admiring him from afar, in the same room when he comes to visit, and when he leaves, I'll be sad. But I'll also know that it was always destined to be that way. That fate had decided a long time ago that Roxas would leave to find himself, and I would be Naminé, the witch left behind to continue her black magic.
That would be all.