Title: Stealing Pineapples

Author: ME (Basset)! Shocking, isn't it?

Summary: It's always a bad idea to forget to find a lawyer 20 minutes before your trial.

Genre: Humor

Paring(s): Shassie (possibly, not sure yet if Shassie will make it into my story)

Author's Note: I thought of this idea when I was listening to NPR a few days ago. They mentioned something about a 3-Strikes-And-Your-Out law, and I thought it would be funny if Shawn got arrested because of it... but no one else seemed too... *shrugs* I'm not sure if Shassie will fit into this story, but I will try to make it. Because you can never have to much Shassie goodness in the world.
Anyway, this is my first fanfiction, so I'm terribly sorry if I'm horrible with Shawn or Lassie or any other character. And I probably am.

Disclaimer: I do not own Psych or any of it's wonderful characters. If I did, Shawn and Lassie would be a couple and living happily ever after... and Jules would possibly be with Gus.

-1994-

"Finally!" Henry yelled as he read the headlines in the morning paper. "I sure hope this law is going to put a lot more people in jail for a lot more time."

"What law dad?" A teenage Shawn asked as he grabbed a doughnut and took a huge bite out of it.

"The California law makers have finally adopted the 3-Strikes-And-Your-Out law. If you have committed two felonies, and then you do something as insignificant as stealing a pineapple, then your sent to jail for at least 25 years." Henry replied as he took a sip of his coffee.

Young Shawn laughed as he took another bite of doughnut. "Who'd be stupid enough to steal a pineapple?"

-Present Day-

Shawn Spencer could not believe it. He just couldn't. There was the possibility he was about to be sentenced to jail for 25 years for stealing... a pineapple.

A pineapple of all things! It was all because of that stupid 3-strikes-and-your-out law that California had. Sure, he had stolen a car and stolen another car (a more expensive one, and the owners really had pushed for him being sent to jail), but there wasn't really a need for sending him to jail for stealing a pineapple!

And it hadn't exactly been stealing in the first place. Well, if you counted walking out of a store with a pineapple that you hadn't bought but fully intended on paying for later stealing. And Shawn had been planing to pay for the pineapple... after Gus gave him some money.

"Don't worry Shawn, it's going to be okay." Jules said, comfortingly squeezing his hand.

Since Shawn had been caught walking out of Walmart with the yellow spiky fruit, both Gus and Jules hadn't left his side. Lassie had dropped in every now and then to see how they were doing, but never staying for more than 3 minutes. He had said he was in the middle of a big case, and for once Shawn didn't pester him.

Suddenly, Lassiter slammed through the door and walked over to Shawn. "Your trial is in 20 minutes, we need to get you there. And did you have to just wear pants and a t-shirt? I mean, we want the jury to vote in favor of you, not against you!" the man said, roughly grabbing Shawn's arm and dragging him towards the door. "It's days like these that I really wish I had an extra suit around here."

"Whoa Lassie, why are you all worried about me not being sent to jail? I thought you always wanted me sent to the slammer." Shawn interrupted, trying to smile. But over the past few days he seemed to have forgotten, so the smile looked more like a grimace.

"Didn't Guster tell you? I'm your lawyer." Lassie said, looking from Shawn to Gus, an eyebrow raised.

Glancing over Gus, Shawn's eyes narrowed. "Hm... nope, he didn't tell me. How could you not tell me Lassie was my lawyer Gus! We're supposed to be best friends!"

"Hey, we didn't have a choice... When Detective Lassiter found out you had been arrested, he decided to take your case up himself. He wouldn't take no for an answer." Gus muttered. A nod from Jules seemed to conform this story.

Shawn's heart sank. How was he supposed to be able to win this if Lassie was his lawyer? The man was a detective, and a good one at that. But a lawyer? "Lassie, man, you know, I think it'd be a good idea if maybe we got someone who actually knows what their doing to defend my case, if that's okay." Shawn said, trying to get out of Lassiter's grip.

At that, Lassiter laughed. Actually laughed. "And where will you find another lawyer 20 minutes before your trial?" he asked, tightening his grip on his captive and continuing to drag him across the police station.

"Oww Lassie, don't bruise my sensitive skin! You know, it'd look bad for you if I arrived to my trial all beaten up and bruised." Shawn said, fake pouting.

Lassiter rolled his eyes. "Ya, and it will look even worst if you show up late." Reaching his desk the detective grabbed a briefcase and stuffed a few folders inside of it. "Come on Spencer, we're cutting it close as it is."

Shawn shrugged and followed the older man. Well, he'd been able to charm judges before, he was sure he could again. So hopefully he wasn't going to need any of Lassie's horrible lawyer skills.

Not that he knew Lassie was a bad lawyer.

So... not the best ever.... I hope you like the idea.

And I'm not sure if Shawn had committed two crimes... so I just made up him stealing another car...

Wow... I wrote almost 1,100 words... I wish my english or social studies essays were this easy.....