Response to the latest Pure Horace Mantis challenge, Sara Bareilles Lyrics.
Okay, so, I keep forgetting to mention this…but when I posted the prologue to WIHKL late last Friday night/way early Saturday morning, and then I woke up for real that Saturday, I had seventeen messages in my inbox from people who had reviewed, favorited, and added to their alerts. I felt AWESOME! Thanks to those people, I love you all.
Also, I can't remember the last time I added a disclaimer to a fic…hope I don't get sued!!
So, disclaimer…I don't own JONAS. My mom used to say 'if you can't think of something funny to say, don't say anything at all' Oh, wait…that was nice…not funny. No wonder I always got in trouble. xDDD
"There'll be girls across the nation that will eat this up babe;
I know that it's your soul but could you bottle it up?"
– Bottle it Up
***
An upside of being friends with the members of JONAS is that you get to hear their newest songs before everyone else. A downside is that those songs aren't about you. And that gets really hard to accept when you like one of them.
Kevin wrote this gorgeous song and played it for me the other day. He really doesn't sing enough, which is a pity because his voice has this absolutely amazing quality about it that Nick's and Joe's just don't have. I don't really know how to explain it right, but, I swear, he was singing and playing his guitar and I just about swooned right there. I'm sure he thought it was one of my fangirl moments, but it wasn't. Not entirely. It was about 99.2% non-fangirl.
But the fact remained that Kevin Lucas was singing.
To me.
Kind of.
Okay, not really.
He was singing the song to a friend to see what they thought. He was not, I kept reminding myself, singing this fantastic song to the girl (me) sitting in front of him, staring at him, eyes wide in adoration. He was singing the song to the girl I would never be. The girl of his dreams. It said so in the chorus.
"To the girl of my dreams
who's not what she seems
she's kind of crazy,
never lazy,
too much for me to handle,
no one can hold a candle,
I live to see her smile,
If she doesn't get it,
I guess I'll wait a while.
She's not what she seems
This girl of my dreams."
Kevin stopped strumming the strings and looked up at me.
"Did you like it?" he asked, his voice hopeful.
I loved it. It was practically perfect. Except it wasn't about me. That would make it absolutely perfect.
"It was fantastic," I said softly, "Are you singing it at the concert Friday?" I was going to be there, like I always was. And hearing him and his brothers sing this song to all of those girls was going to break my heart. They would bask in it, each dreaming that the brother of their choice was singing it especially to them. Except me. Because I knew for a dead fact that it wasn't about me, and no amount of fangirl imagination was going to reverse that.
Reality bites.
"Yeah, we're singing it at the concert," he said as he put his guitar on the stand next to him and looked at me, "You'll be there, right?" he asked.
"Aren't I always?" I said with a sad smile. He picked up on the sadness and looked at me. Really looked at me. A hard, intense, unreadable stare.
"You didn't like the song, did you?" he asked, sounding a little upset.
"No, I did. I loved it. It's wonderful. The fangirls will love it; it's heartfelt…" I trailed off, not sure if I wanted to continue.
"I feel a 'but' coming on," Kevin said as he looked at me.
I took a deep breath,
"But…maybe there are some songs that are better left…unsung," I said quietly.
"What do you mean by 'some songs are better left unsung'?" Kevin asked sharply. That was a surprise. I had never heard him raise his voice in anger before.
"I mean…I know the fans would love it; they'd eat it up and I know that it comes from your heart…but…maybe you should…bottle it up?" the last part came out sounding like a question, and I was looking down at my shoes, not wanting to meet Kevin's face.
"Why should I bottle up my feelings for this girl?" he asked softly.
"Because, Kevin…maybe not everyone wants to know that their fantasies about you are just that. Fantasies. Because you've gone and found this 'girl of your dreams' and even though they can pretend that the song is for them…they know in the back of their mind…it isn't them…it's someone they can never be. You play this song at the concert and…girls' hearts will break."
"Joe and Nick are the heartbreakers; not me, Mace."
"I know one girl's heart that's already been broken by you," I said quietly.
"Really? Well, maybe if I knew her name, I could do something really nice for her…" I knew by his tone that he had caught on to the fact that I was talking about me. I had nothing more to lose really, so I asked him,
"Like what?"
"Well, maybe I could write her a song…or I could let everyone at the concert know that I already wrote a song about her, and invite her onstage as I play it for her."
"What?!"
"I wrote that song about you, Mace…" he said as he nervously ran a hand through his hair.
"I know that," I said agitatedly as I started madly gesturing with my hands and pacing back and forth in front of Kevin, "Why, though? Why write a song about me?"
"Because," Kevin said with an exasperated sigh as he grabbed me and pulled me into his embrace, "you're the girl of my dreams."
"What?" I asked in shock. What he said hadn't registered with me so much as the fact that he had pulled me onto his lap and was breathing on my neck.
"Macy, I love you. You are the greatest girl in the world. You're funny and pretty and smart and I've never felt this way about any other girl before."
He brushed his lips against my neck, tightening his hold on my waist.
"Kev-in…" I whined, squirming against him.
"Yes?"
"I love you too."
He twisted me around to face him, cupped my chin, and traced my cheek. He lightly brushed his thumb against my lips before leaning towards me, our lips meeting in the greatest kiss I had ever experienced.
I've been in this angsty mood today…boy problems are soooo grand. Not. At least things turned out okay for Kevin and Macy.