It was an dream, Shizuru thought. Looking back over the past three years. Never in a million years, she could fathom the thought of Natsuki and her together. With a soft smile, she laid softly on the bed that they both shared. At present, things aren't going as great as one might expected, but she had recalled the past perfectly. It was an unexpected chance in the past.
"This is the last time I'll ever see you, Natsuki," Shizuru smiled, as the gust of wind blew ever so slightly against her expose legs. Her short skirt and dress uniform didn't do her any good against the morning cold. But never less, she felt that she must soldier on. She felt it was right, no the moment was right and that she had to make things right between Natsuki and herself.
After all Shizuru would be graduating in a week, and things between her and Natsuki is still shaky at best. Yes they did talk and act just like normal friends, but deep down in their hearts, they knew better. Things were never the same after the confessions and tears that threaten to break them apart during the Carnival. But at the end of it all, they both had agreed, that it was best to start over, they had been given a second chance to do things right. To forget and to forgive. That's was the only way to move forward.
During her senior year in high school, Shizuru had decided to attend an all women college after she had graduated. She figured it was impossible to stay close to Natsuki, but she thought that perhaps, she can at least remain close as friends. All these worrying thoughts raced through her mind as Shizuru search the school's court yard. Starting next year, she would be in college, and Natsuki would be a senior in high school. Perhaps, she wondered, will they ever get back to before? The question always lingered on her mind. She wanted to be a good friend, a friend that would be there for her precious friend, Natsuki. She just wanted to show Natsuki that she can be counted on when Natsuki really needed her. Although it took a while, Shizuru had finally had caught up to Natsuki.
Natsuki, was just lazily sitting under a tree, shielding herself from the mid-day sun.
"Isn't it a bit too chilly today, Natsuki," Shizuru smiled, although she realized that it usually gets cold in the morning, and warm at mid-day, she decided to tease Natsuki anyway.
"Oh hey, Shizuru, what sup?" Shizuru could only smiled as she mimicked Natsuki sitting style. Under the tree, she could feel the cool grass underneath her legs. It felt so good, no wonder Natsuki always sat here, she thought. It Felt good enough to take a nap.
"Nap?" Natsuki repeated.
With a soft smile, Shizuru replied " Oh, I meant, I understand now. Why is it that you like this spot? Because it's a good spot to take a nap, huh?"
"Right," Natsuki answered with a smirk, "so you're going to be graduating soon, right? Congratulations, ahead of time, of course."
"Hmm, thank you, Natsuki. I appreciated. I really do. That's why I wanted to talk to you about it."
"Oh?"
"Yeah"
"Hmm." Natsuki replied with a curious look on her face, a face, that said what's this about?
"Look, I'm going to a women college in Tokyo. I want you to know that if you needed anything, you'll know where to call." She continued, trying her best to have a serious heart to heart talk with her friend. But of course she wondered, if Natsuki is just being dense or if she was playing the dense role. Either way, Natsuki had better listen or Shizuru was going to have to spell it out for her.
Shizuru leaned closer, "Well, Natsuki, I just thought that a week from now, things would be different you know?
Natsuki raised her eyebrows, and asked, "how so?" At this Shizuru rolled her eyes up and place her right index finger under her chin, " you know, I won't be here and we won't see each other like usual."
"I see," was all Shizuru got. That's it? Shizuru wondered. Is that all you have to say Natsuki? Is that all you feel for me? Of course Shizuru was sadden, but she dare not voiced her disappointments.
Shizuru got up and stared down at her feet. Trying to avoid eyes contact with Natsuki.
"I'll miss you," was the only thing Shizuru said. There were nothing else to say. She had soughed out Natsuki to reaffirm their friendship. And hoped that it'd be enough to smooth this weird awkwardness that seemed to have been plaguing their friendship. Although there were awkwardness between them at times, Shizuru had hoped that their friendship would not fade when they eventually be separated. She knew often times when two people grew up, naturally they fell out touch. Even childhood friends are not immune to this disease. And she knew so herself, that she fit the description.
She was popular, popular enough through out her high school career to have so many people admiring her. Admiring her looks, or even her intelligence. But surely she would have made many friends right? Right? Besides Haruka, who else can she really call a friend. But even that is stretching it. Shizuru and Haruka always fought, but deep down there were friendship. That's right, she realized, she was also a loner. Just like Natsuki, but unlike Natsuki, she wasn't one by choice, nor did she choose to be one. And that was what scared her the most. She was afraid, she realized. Afraid that if she and Natsuki grew apart, afraid that she will not be able to reach back to Natsuki. Afraid that if they meet again, how would she greet Natsuki? Would she pretend to be happy that she had seen Natsuki again, and everything would goes to normal. Like so manly years ago? Yeah right, Shizuru dismissed the thought. That wasn't how it supposed to be, at least for her anyway. She just wasn't the type, the warm type.
A few moments had passed, and lost in her thoughts, Shizuru, hadn't noticed Natsuki until a friendly voice reminded her that she was alone of course.
"Oh, thanks, Shizuru." Natsuki smiled. " I get it, thanks, I really mean it."
After hearing what she'd wanted to hear or at least now that she had gotten a good response from Natsuki, Shizuru once again gain a sense of relief. But she knew that she had to move forward, because time doesn't stand still.
"That's right I'll move forward," Shizuru said to no one in particular, but really for her own self encouragement. She was a bit optimistic.
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