A/N: Hello there,fans of PJatO!
I'm going to assume a wild hypothesis and say you hate the movie.
Beacuse you clicked this fanfic.
So I hope you will enjoy the following 30 reasons, which explain exactly why the movie is lame! :D
Have fun (;
Disclaimer: PJO does not belong to me, the movie does not belong to me, (Thank God!), and if so, it was not written that way.
All the movie lovers/actors lovers: ...you shouldn't be here right now. Just sayin'
30 Reasons why 'Percy Jackson - the movie' is lame:
1. Percy has black hair. Black. Hair. There are plenty of black haired actors, dear casting-crew. And, sorry Logan Lerman, but there are ones who are better than you anyway.
2. Percy also has green eyes. Do you know why this is important? Because he is the son of Poseidon. He is the God of Sea. That is green. Ya know, sea-green? Like his father?
3. Annabeth has curly princess-like blond hair. Not an ugly brown straight hair. And this is important because that is the first thing Percy ever notices about her. C'mon, give us that, at least!
4. Book: Annabeth has gray eyes. Film: Annabeth has blue eyes (what's up with the blue, people?). Reality-check, (or not), all of the kids of Athena have blonde hair and grey-stormy eyes. Go read the book, please.
5. If Percy and his mother are struggling for their livelihood (read the book!), why the hell Percy has an iPod? Uh, continuity-problems, maybe?
6. Wow, the scripter so didn't read the book. Percy and everyone are 12 years old! Not 16-so-it-will-go-with-Percabeth! And I'm sorry, but the beauty about Percabeth is seeing how their relationship progressed. Don't ruin this for us, please. Not even if hiring 12-years-old actors is hard. You could've found 15-years-old ones and make-up them, couldn't you?
7.A. Hades does not look like a demon.
7.B. Hades does not just go around the camp every time he wants to contact with a half-blood.
7.C. And if he does, he does not do that in front of everyone.
7.D. at the campfire.
7.E. Where Chiron and Mr. D are.
8. But it worked, right? Because, by the way, another one: Dionysus doesn't even appear in the movie. Which means: all the good jokes didn't appear in the movie. Which means: The film became the story of adventure (hardly, see number 25)/drama/romances. Where is the humor? Where is the friendship? What have you done to our story?
9. Grover isn't black in the book, but you can count this is me being annoying, because actually that didn't bother me; it fit with the character, and he's the only character they did justice with. Partly. See below, number 10:
10. He isn't such a girls-crazy; he is a nervous, clumsy, kinda shy kid of guy, and you completely ruined his personality.
11. What's the deal with the pearls? Because, just, huh? This isn't supposed to be so easy. They were supposed to work hard to get there.
12. People, I'm sorry to inform you, but ... Persephone isn't there in the summer. Which is important, because the whole point in PjatO is the combination between old myths and reality, and you ruin the myths, so what's the point?
13. Percy's mother is the one who stayed down. Not Grover. And she does not know where the Olympus is, (I mean, she does, but she won't know how to take Percy there), much less able to go there. And where's our Twilight-obsessed guard? Please, people! Give us the little laughs of PJ!
14. In general, where is all the family conversation with Percy and Poseidon? We wanted to hear Poseidon says that Sally is 'a queen among women'! And he didn't stay with Percy. He didn't even stay to see him born!
15. What about the elevator to the 600 floor, and the music, the lobby?
16. What the hell? Luke on the roof? They don't fight like that! Percy still doesn't know that Luke is a traitor! And, excuse me, but Percy can't control his powers like that. He did something like that in book 4 and almost died.
17. Annabeth does not use her femininity to fight. Ever. She hates it when the Aphrodite girls do it, and she mentioned that, and she's a smart girl. She does not need cheap tricks.
18. What's up with the suggestion of Percabeth? They should be 12 years old, excuse you. They still have five books until they get there. There are almost no romantic hints in the first book! (Okay, Aphrodite doesn't count.)
19. So many important characters are missing. Where is Clarisse? Mr. D.? Hermes? Ares? You already lost half of the story.
21. Percy's personality, half-optimistic-half-pessimistic cynical and full of joy, was lost. And that sucks. Because we love Percy because of these things.
22. Kronos wasn't even mentioned in the movie. Seriously? How can you do that? The whole series is about him!
23. Uh, Oracle, someone? What will you do when Rachel comes along? You'll throw her around like all the other characters? And the Big Prophesy? Which, again, the entire series is about?
24. Thalia? Cough? She's in for it in two books, you should have thought about needing to mention her. Like, you had to.
25. The bus? That was awesome. Why did you take that out? The gorgons? So many other monsters? I mean, PjatO is an adventures and humor book. Where did that go? No humor, no really-cool adventures. Geez, you just ruined the book.
26. Annabeth's knife? Ummm... He-llo? Book five? That knife is kinda important.
27. Her hat. Book four. And all the other books, because that is the main thing that shows the Olympians rarely talk to demigods, but they don't abandon them, which is important to book five when Percy has that dilemma weather or not the Olympians are better than Kronos. This leads us too:
28. The gods were allowed to have contacts with their children. Poseidon saved Percy live, remember? Oh, of course you don't. 'Cause that didn't make it into the movie.
29. Capture the flag? No. Just no. First Percabeth friendship hints, not first Percabeth romance hints. First Luke/Annabeth? Um, seriously, that is really important for the rest of the series. Claming by Poseidon? Oh, right, you screw that up already, because Poseidon builds Percy a cabin. Now, let me scoff about that. If no one would've build Poseidon a cabin, they all were already dead because he would've drown them. Please, please, please, read the book.
30. All the fun, intersting, amusing stuff was left out. The Underworld adventure? The gurard to the Underworld? Cerberus? Annabeth's dad story? The Lotus Hotel story was totally messed up. I mean, sure, you can cut a few things out. It's a movie, it has time-limit. But why all of them? And the one they didn't, they messed up.
In conclusion: The book is not pathetic, lame, has no plot, or considered a romantic-adventure book for the teens, like the movie. Therefore:
GO. READ. THE. BOOK.
A/N: Hope I made you laugh! (:
Thumbs up to everyone who hates the movie.
-Nia
By the way, I know there are plenty more reasons, but these are the 30 that bothered me the most. Feel free to comment (: