Title: Terror of Valentine
Summary: Cupid comes to Konoha and causes havoc throughout the village.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!
A/N: I would like (again) to extend my thanks to Eternal Annoyance for helping in the development of this fic. I'm not going to bother with the Japanese, but there will be honorific names! I love those things!
Warning:Slight OOCness and possible bad grammar!
-Prologue-
::SUNDAY evening::
Late evening seemed to be the best time of day for a lot of people. It was a godsend for Konohamaru because that was the time when his lessons with Ebisu were at their end.
This evening wasn't much different.
The sky was dyed a shade of red as Konohamaru's friends assisted in dragging him home. With his limbs aching and his body exhausted, this developed into a much too common routine for the end of Ebisu's training sessions. Ebisu had continued his lessons with the little ninja cadet longer than usual today.
"Are you even trying?" Moegi complained while shifting Konohamaru's weight around on her shoulder.
"That idiot had me up since six a.m. for his special training. Let's see you get around normally after all that!"
"Why don't you just fall asleep on the spot like Naruto-niichan." Udon suggested from Konohamaru's other side.
A figure of Naruto sleeping in plain sight flashed through his mind and Konohamaru thought over the idea. "No. Niichan trains a lot harder than me. I still have a ways to go before I can catch up with him."
"What's that?" Moegi released her hold on Konohamaru letting him fall like a sack of potatoes to the ground, taking Udon with him.
"The hell did you do that for?!" Konohamaru shouted with his face in the dirt.
"Look!" She pointed out a strange boy hiding suspiciously down an alley.
Forgetting all about his current state, Konohamaru jumped to his feet. Determination burning in his eyes, he charged forward with plans of investigating the strange boy.
"Hey!" shouted Konohamaru running at the boy. "Stop right there!"
The boy appeared to be in his young teens; slightly older than any of the Rookie Nine. His hair had a strange shade of silver lining his blond colour. His skin looked flawless and smooth. Only thing wrong about the boy was his strange style of clothing which looked oddly like a toga. The fabric was covered in a few smudges of dirt and looked like some crazy animal had pulled it off a laundry line and dragged it around.
Moegi and Udon tried desperately not to laugh as the boy tried to hide behind odd objects of trash. Konohamaru, on the other hand, let his laughter be heard by all.
"OK!" The boy stood clinging to the now visible, and most likely stolen, bed sheet at his chest revealing he was obviously naked. "You got your laugh! Now if you don't mind, I still have to wander through these alley ways until I find some clothes!"
The boy began to trudge his way further into the alley only to scream when he stepped in something squishy and toppled into a trash can. While the kids watched, he thrashed around trying to get free, and they sweatdropped. The scene was truly pitiful.
--
Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon sat within Moegi's home staring contently at the boy, now fully clothed, as he vacuumed all forms of food that was placed in front of his mouth.
"Again, thank you for helping me." He slurred with a mouth full of food. The kids turned green at the face, regretful they were staring in the first place.
"Don't mention it." Moegi struggled taking the mountain of dishes to the sink. Her mother was going to freak when she saw the mess.
"In fact, no need to talk at all." Udon uttered averting his gaze to the 'World's Best Cook' apron hanging on a nearby wall.
"So, who are you?" Konohamaru's question received glares from his friends. They didn't want the human-black-hole to open his mouth again.
Luckily for them the boy swallowed this time. "I guess I could tell you. You're just three innocent little kids after all." He paused to add effect. "I am Cupid," A small fit of coughs followed. "And since Valentine's Day is only six days away, I've come to Konoha to help spread love."
"Ewww!!" All three kids cringed.
Cupid sweatdropped. "Somehow, I just knew you would do that."
"Wait a second!" Moegi inspected Cupid from different angles. "Isn't Cupid supposed to be a chubby little person with wings and a diaper?"
"Well it would be kind of strange for the people to see something like that, wouldn't it?" Cupid smiled meekly. "Taking this form makes my job a whole lot easier."
"Why were you naked?" asked Udon.
A shadow fell over Cupid and he huddled in a corner in shame. "I sort of forget clothes when I changed my form."
"What kind of moron does that?" Konohamaru was unimpressed. When their hero Naruto used Sexy no Jutsu, at least he meant to be naked.
Cupid turned angrily on Konohamaru preparing a nice long explanation with very loud words.
Moegi realized something first and cut in. "Aren't you supposed to hit people with a magic bow and arrow?"
Konohamaru looked pathetically at Cupid. "You're going to get the crap kicked out of you if you point a weapon at anyone."
"You think I don't know that." Cupid took a heroic stance and anyone could mistake him for Gai. "That's why I have a special technique! By infusing any object I wish with a little 'Magic of Love,' all someone has to do is touch it and they fall instantly in love with the first person they see."
The kids were impressed, and in sync asked, "Can we help?"
Cupid grinned, unaware of the mistake he had made. "By all means, yes. You three will by my little helpers!"
-TBC-
Cupid: Dear god! I was pathetic! –cries-
E-M-P: -pats shoulder- There, there...
Cupid: How could you? I'm Cupid! No one will take me seriously now!
E-M-P: -laughs nervously- I made you look cute... and maybe it will be better next chapter.
A/N: What shall happen next? MAWHAHAHA!
'09 Author's Note: I want to finish this for Valentine's Day, 2009. I've changed a few sentences and improved the grammer, but I want it to remain as cartoonishly the same as possible.
Sent this to my lovely editor! The queen of grammer, Cursed Blessing!