Oh my, forgive me for writing this…I just got this commercial parody in my mind and I just had to write it…
SCHWARZ GANGSTA THUGGIN'!
(the Schwarz boys are standing in front of a bunch of flashy cars surrounded by half naked, gyrating women. They're decked out in FuBu, their boxers hanging out of their pants and Timberlands)
Voiceover: Get ready fo' tha hottest album of the year! Dis be "Schwarz-Yaoi Thuggn'"! Featurin' tracks from:
B-Craw!
Crawford: (wearing a wife beater and flashing huge gold chains around his neck) Don't make me pop a cap in yo' ass!
Lil' Nagi!
Nagi: (moving his arms around with a bandana wrapped around his head) Yo, you best respect!
Schu-Dogg!
Schu: (with a blunt in his mouth and one pant leg rolled up) Word.
And Farfie G!
Farfello: (giving a west side sign and showing off his gold teeth) I represent, ya heard?!
It includes da hardcore yaoi jams such as:
Still Not a Hetero Gin and Lube Nothin' But A BxS Thang
Bang Me Now
Natural Born Bishiez
It Wuz A Good Lay
Farfie Got Schu's Back
Straight Outta A Fangirl's Perverted Thoughts
Still G.AY.
Go out and pick up dis hot new album now, sucka!
Crawford: I'ma pop a cap in yo' ass!
Schu: (whispering) You already said that…
Crawford: But I feel like a bad-ass saying it!
Farfello: (showing off his gold chains and diamond rings) Bling bling, ya'll!
Nagi: Holla!
Schu: Um, this is just stupid…(walks away)
Farfello: (shrugs, pulls up his pants and walks away as well)
Nagi: My life is now officially over. (runs away, crying about hating the world)
Crawford: (stands there, grabbing his crotch) I'ma pop a cap in yo' ass!
Voiceover: Get yo' pasty white ass outta here, foo'!
Crawford: I'ma pop a cap in yo' ass, mofo! (hops in one of the cars and turns the hydraulics on) Hold up, It's tha one and only B.R.A.D.!
Owari…thankfully