Yes, I know that there were no cameras or chat back then, and that most characters already dead, but it's just a story…

Message containing a picture of Marius and Eponine conversing in the background.

From: Eponine

To: Cosette, Marius, Enjolras, Grantaire, Combeferre, Coufeyrac, Feuilly, Joly, Jean Pouvaire, Lesgle, Bahorel, Fantine

Cosette said, "Cosette dislikes this. Cosette is angry. Marius will be sleeping in the sewers tonight. Eponine will not see the light of day any longer."

Grantaire said, "You mean to say that Eponine will be down keeping Marius company in the sewers for the whole night?"

Cosette said, "Uh, no. Eponine will be much deeper than that."

Grantaire said, "Exactly how deep are the sewers? Marius, do you know?"

Marius said, "I don't know. I was unconscious for that part of my journey with my father-in-law. Try asking him."

Grantaire said, "Hey, Jean Valjean, How deep were the sewers."

*Jean Valjean entered conversation.*

Cosette said, "Uh, no. Father, stay out of this. It is a conversation between my husband, his drunken friend, and I."

*Jean Valjean left conversation.*

Cosette said, "Anyways, what were you doing with Epohnin?

Eponine said, "It's Eponine, and we were having lunch the other day. Why would you care?"

Marius said, "Um, how come I don't remember any of this? What lunch?"

Eponine said, "You remember last week, right?"

Marius said, "Um, that was at the barricade, and we split two loaves of bread."

Eponine said, "That was so sweet of you, Marius."

Cosette said, "What?!"

Marius said, "Um, actually, you were the one who split your loaf first. We each had our own, and you insisted I get half of yours. You were already starved enough, so I gave you half of mine."

Eponine said, "That was so sweet of you, Marius."

Cosette said, "You brat!"

Marius said, "Hey, wouldn't you have done the same in my situation?"

Cosette said, "Not, you. I mean Ehpponine. I forgive you, Marius."

Marius said, "Thanks, love."

Cosette said, "But you're still sleeping in the sewers."

Marius said, "Are you sure?"

Cosette said, "Yes."

Eponine said, "See you in the sewers tonight, Marius."

Cosette said, "Nevermind, you're sleeping in the tub."

Eponine said, "The day will come, somewhere, sometime."

Marius said, "By the way, Eponine, how did you get that picture and why did you send it to Cosette, the Friends of the ABC, and I?"

Eponine said, "Oh, I just wanted to share a great moment in time with everyone."

Cosette said, "You man-stealer!"

Eponine said, "I am no such thing!"

Cosette said, "Keep denying it."

Eponine said, "Besides, I want to stay in contact with the new friends I made at the ABC."

Enjolras said, "Um, we didn't even know you were a girl until you were practically dead in Marius' arms."

Marius, "Oh no."

Cosette, "Ha! No one could even tell you were a girl. Wait, WHAT!"

Marius said, "Sweetie, it's not what it looks like! She came in all wounded and FELL into my arms!"

Cosette said, "How convenient! I bet that man-stealing brat planned this."

Eponine said, "I actually didn't."

Cosette said, "So you accept that you are a man-stealing brat?"

Eponine said, "I am no such thing."

Marius said, "Thanks a lot, Enjolras."

Enjolras said, "You're welcome."

Marius said, "When did you come into this conversation, anyways?"

Enjolras said, "Oh, we've all been reading up on it."

Marius said, "What! Everyone!"

Enjolras said, "Yes."

Combeferre said, "Yes."

Coufeyrac said, "Yes."

Feuilly said, "Yes."

Joly said, "Yes."

Jean Pouvaire said, "Yes."

Lesgle said, "Yes."

Bahorel said, "Yes."

Fantine said, "Yes."

Cosette said, "Mother?!"

Fantine said, "Hello, sweetie."

Cosette said, "What are you doing here?!"

Eponine said, Your mother and I happen to be very good friends up here in the afterlife.

Cosette said, "Mother, WHY?"

Fantine said, "Eponine is really nice once you get to know her."

Cosette said, "Ha."

Eponine said, "Your mother and I are very close, actually. She took me with her when she brought your father up to heaven with us."

Random Les Miserables Fan said, "I thought Eponine came along because she, Fantine, and Valjean had loved another person (as in an actual love –Eponine Marius– or loved a child –Fantine and Valjean Cosette) and, therefore, had seen the face of God."

Eponine said, "Of course that's right."

Cosette said, "NO! Eponine never loved Marius."

Eponine said, "Actually, I did, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Cosette said, "Liar!"

Eponine said, "Never!"

Cosette said, "Liar!"

Eponine said, "Never!"

Cosette said, "Liar!"

Eponine said, "Never!"

Cosette said, "Liar!"

Eponine said, "Never! NEVAHHHHH!"

Marius said, "Woah, girls, no need to mix musicals over me."

Cosette said, "You are SO sleeping in the tub for the rest of the month."

Enjolras said, "Okay, guys, seriously now, stop spamming."

Marius said, "Actually, now that you have moved to the afterlife, and the ABC is no more, I no longer have to follow you're orders."

Enjolras said, "Well, um, there are others who WILL subject to my orders."

Marius said, "Like who?"

Enjolras said, "Um, Grantaire…"

Marius said, "Um, yea. Where is Grantaire, anyways."

Eponine said, "Grannnnnntaireeeee, where are youuuuuuuu? Grantaireeeeeeeee, odl lay odl lay odl lay, hee hoo."

Marius said, "My gosh. What is it with you guys and mixing musicals?"

Eponine said, "I didn't necessarily do that, BUT I won't do it anymore if you don't want me to."

Marius said, "Thank you."

Cosette said, "My gosh."

Marius said, "Seriously, Grantaire, where are you?"

Grantaire said, "…Am I really always referred to as Marius' drunken friend?"

Everyone else said, "…"