Title:Final Contemplation
Fandom:Torchwood
Rating:PG13
Prompt: 'Die Alone' for 500 prompts
Summary: A moment in Gwen's head during 'Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang'
Final Contemplation
She was lying in a dank, smelly crate, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to blink. Her organs were shutting down, so she was finding it hard to breath, but all she could think about was how itchy her eyes were and how much she wanted to close her eyes. But if she closed her eyes, then she would look as dead as John intended her to be. So she decided she could bear the itch.
The steady drip, drip of the water was enough to drive her mad. Ianto had once told her that Chinese water torture was just a myth, that it didn't really drive people insane. Gwen was thoroughly prepared to call him on it when she saw him next, because just the sound was enough to make her want to tear her hair out.
The smell was awful, seawater and sewage, and it just reminded her that this could become her coffin if no one bothered to check this crate for weeks, which was very likely. Rhys would be frantic.
Rhys… he was so excited about his promotion. Gwen had felt pride fill her chest at the sound of his jubilant voice. Her big idiot she called him. Long suffering, uncomplaining Rhys. He would be so upset when she didn't come home.
As she thought about it, Gwen felt shame settle in her stomach. Rhys would do anything for her, and she had all but begged Jack to give her a reason to dump him. Rhys did not deserve such selfishness. He put up with so much from her, and yet she had practically offered to drop her pants for Jack right there in the corridor of the Hub. And what about Ianto? They had become friends as the weeks had gone by, and Gwen had seen the passion between him and Jack when they had kissed in front of everyone. It was obvious that Ianto was, if not in love, at least he was very attached to Jack. And he had no one, while Gwen wanted both Rhys, and Jack… and at one point Owen.
What was wrong with her? She got so much from Rhys, was she really that selfish that she could not resist the appeal of Jack bloody Harkness and the willingness Owen Harper? Was she so greedy that she could not let Ianto have something for himself?
And yet… here she was. Alone in a crate, slowly dying as her team mates worked to save the city, as her fiancé celebrated their future.
She had never imagined that she would die like this.
But for the first time… she wondered if maybe she deserved it.
Gwen is a tough character for me to write, because I don't want to be a basher, but… god I can't stand her! Lol. Comments are greatly appreciated.
Night's Darkness