It's inexplicably quiet in my room.
There's a tension in the air of the room that's almost debilitating in its strength.
I move slightly trying to relax but am too tense for any relief.
I lean my back against the wall hoping the cool plaster will help me stop tensing.
Willow is not much better but seems worse.
She sits on my bed legs cross with every strand of rose red hair trying to escape from behind slightly pink ears.
There's an almost forced nonchalance in her stance that gives her away.
The textbook that sits on her lap hasn't been turned in over ten minutes: a clue that this whole position is a ruse to hide what she's thinking about doing.
Willow is so still I could almost believe she's frozen: a statue on my bed.
I wonder if she wants to talk again and is trying to avoid it.
It's uncomfortable in the truest sense of the word.
I'm still looking at Willow when she slowly raises her head in my direction.
This little acknowledgement gives me enough courage to speak.
"Hello," I greeted warmly feeling my lips turn up naturally at the sight of her. "Haven't seen your face in a while," I continue grinning at the wiccan. "A whole ten minutes. It was torture."
Willow's stiff posture returns to a casual slouch and her face further softens into a small smile.
The statue of ice is gone.
She has thawed and is my wiccan once again.
The uncomfortable tension doesn't linger fading like sunlight at dusk.
I see Willow take a breath and stay silent to let her speak.
"Have you heard of holidays before?"
Sunnydale has been talking about holidays lately and apparently some are coming up.
I nod my head sensing somewhat where this is going.
"Briar, are you a Christmas girl or a Hanukkah girl?"
The question while seemingly random is also somewhat expected.
Those names have been used much these last couple weeks in Sunnydale.
It's December: the last month of the year. While I have been worrying about other Veelas coming to visit soon, Sunnydale has worried more about whether it's going to snow and when they can open gifts.
Frankly, I can't understand it's importance but it seems magical.
It seems all about family and snow for some reason.
I don't understand why it would be so perfect for these holidays other than seeing it for the first time.
I do want to see it though: the snow falling to the ground in a calm dance only they know.
"I don't know what you mean."
I answer honestly and feel my head turn in confusion.
She leans forward and I can see the wiccan's brow pull down.
"Do you know what Christmas is?"
Was that what Willow was thinking about.
I smile in relief that it isn't something I'll have to evade when we're so close now.
I shake my head and the hair that touches my shoulders make an itchy sensation.
"I only know it has something to do with snow and maybe gifts. I'm not entirely sure though."
I admit honestly thinking of my peers and the wishes they spoke of in class.
Willow bites her soft bottom lip and exhales softly.
"Well, Christmas is when you give the people you love gifts. You get a tree, decorate it and wait for Christmas Day. Your family and Santa Claus give you presents that you open but I do that and something else."
Willow explains this calmly looking straight at me to keep my attention.
I wait for her to continue and inch closer.
"I celebrate Hanukkah so I get a Menorah and light a candle everyday for seven days and eight nights. I get presents for eight nights. Christians celebrate Christmas for family or the birth of the Messiah Jesus but open their gifts on Christmas day. It's mostly about family and religion because.. well ..I don't know how to explain it exactly but it is. "
She nods to herself after that and I realize religion must be somewhat important for humans.
I tilt my head to the side confused.
"What's family?"
Willow looks a little shocked at the question.
Her eyes have widened into large fawn colored spheres with an emerald green rim.
"Family is people that care about you."
I nod no longer confused with this this thing called 'family.'
"So you're going with your family to celebrate Hanukkah?"
I ask curious.
Willow shakes her head hard sending rosy locks flying.
"Kinda not but kinda yes too. I'm celebrating Hanukkah by myself. I spend Christmas with Buffy and Xander."
"What am I doing then for Christmas and Hanukkah then? I don't have a family like you do."
My brow lowered and wrinkled in my distress at being completely alone during these apparently very important holidays.
These holidays seem to be all about family.
It's left me remembering that I don't have a family at all. I have something completely different.
I realize this might just be another thing that separates me from humans
"I don't have a family. I have a bloodline. Family is supposed to care about you but I have few that do.."
My voice starts off soft but gradually seems too loud in this sudden prison.
I have no family.
No one cares.
Willow's soft hand slowly moves to mine and grasps tight.
Her grip brings me back and I remember.
Willow cares.
"You can choose family. I didn't choose my parents but I chose Buffy, Xander, Mrs. Summers and even Anya."
She's stiffened at the mention of her bloodline and the wiccan's grips tightens.
I don't like anyone that makes Willow burrow back into herself even if it's her own bloodline.
Bloodline protects but now I'm family so I love and protect her.
Humanity does have good ideals after all.
I squeeze Willow's hand gently and place a soft kiss on her cheek with the pressure of a flower petal.
I withdraw slowly but I can't help staring at her face.
Willow's eyes are so sincere fixated on my face.
Her cheeks are flushed like pink blossoms against otherwise pale skin.
Willow's small grin on her face further sees showing two small dimples and microscopic laugh lines .
She's the most beautiful person I've seen in my life.
Just like that, I have a decision made and now need only a plan.
"I choose you then."
It's not only a whisper but a promise.