A/N: Well, this was supposed to be a bit more Christmasy than it turned out. The whole holiday season thing became a lot more incidental than I was intending but nevermind, I hope it still works. Um, I chose the title because "Silver Bells" always seems a little depressing to me, like someone is watching everyone else gearing up for Christmas without taking part in it themselves. Which is where this idea kind of sprung from. I apologise now for any OOC-ness that you may/will detect :S Also, I have only watched the first three(?) episodes of Season 6 because they were then put on hold until next year (not impressed) but I have a vague sense of what's been happening but if I get anything wrong, again, I apologise.
Hope you enjoy it anyway! :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Silver Bells
For the first time in six years Dr. Temperance Brennan found herself alone for Christmas.
At first this hadn't bothered her; with everyone else busy with their own plans for the holiday season no one had noticed that she didn't have any plans of her own. She had considered going on a dig but had decided against it at being too much like running away after her confession to Booth.
And she found that she didn't want to run from it; to run from him.
Not this time.
However it did leave her in the increasingly uncomfortable position of being alone at a time that she had grown accustomed to being surrounded by people, even if those people were a dig team she'd only just met.
On the plus side, having no plans had meant that she didn't feel the need to decorate her apartment for either Booth or Parker's benefit. A task which, although enjoyable in some respects, was also rather pointless considering that the decorations were only in place for a short period of time.
Yet, the problem was not being alone at this time; the problem was that for the first time she knew what she was missing out on by being alone.
Booth had barged into her life with a gun and a badge, but had brought with him a rare feeling of acceptance, care and…love. Especially at Christmastime where he had very early on made it his mission to make sure that she was never alone, if she was in town that is.
Now he appeared to have walked out her life with as little subtlety as he had entered it. And it hurt.
She found herself drawing irrational conclusions from his recent behaviour the most common being that he had never cared for her like she had believed, not even as the friend he had always professed himself to be.
A conclusion she knew to be irrational based on past evidence which she also knew could not be erased by his current behaviour. But she was also finding it increasingly difficult to remain objective.
The only time she knew any semblance of peace from her increasingly conflicted thoughts and feelings was in the lab; which was why she had chosen to spend her Christmas working rather than trying not to think about what Booth might being doing.
Without her.
A task that was easier in theory than execution as she was distracted by every little sound that might in the past have been Booth checking up on her. After spending half the night immersed in the remains on the table, however, she had managed to block out all the noises. Meaning that her first warning that she was no longer alone was when her new companion spoke.
"It's 2am Christmas morning and you're in the lab?"
Startled by the voice she only just managed to avoid dropping the skull she was examining, "I work here, the question should be what you are doing here at 2am on Christmas morning," she returned, striving for a neutral tone. "I doubt you're here because we have a case," she added.
"You're right, Bones, I'm not here about a case," Booth replied, rounding the table to stand opposite her. "I'm here about you," he stated flatly.
She glanced up at him, "Me?" she asked incredulously, her brow furrowed, "Why?"
"It's Christmas, Bones, and you're in the lab," he stated, as though the answer should be obvious.
She put the skull down and crossed her arms, finally giving him her full attention, "We have already established that it is your presence in the lab at this time is anomalous, not mine. I don't understand."
"Christmas is the time to spend with people you love," he explained patiently, "you should be with them, not here," he added.
Brennan narrowed her eyes slightly, "And who do you suggest I spend Christmas with, Booth? Russ and my father have other plans, Angela and Hodgins are enjoying their time alone together before the baby comes, Cam is spending time with her family and you…" she looked away, "you are spending time with your family."
"You're my family too, Bones," he said quietly.
She gave him a sharp look, "Which part Booth?"
He looked confused, "What? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Which part of your family am I, Booth?" she pressed, "Sister? Daughter? Cousin?" she continued, her voice rising slightly with each word. "I know there are many different kinds of families, Booth, but there are times when your family analogy fails and blood is proven to be stronger than water."
"Thicker, Bones, blood is thicker than water," he corrected almost absentmindedly, "and that's not true, Bones, you're important to me. As important as my family," he made a decisive gesture with his hand, "and that makes you my family."
"Then where have you been when I've needed you?" she asked in a quieter but no less insistent tone than before, "When I've been lost or confused or alone, where have you been?"
When Booth seemed lost for words she continued, "You said you were that guy but it turns out that you're just a guy. Just another guy, another person to decide that I'm not worth it," she added sadly, turning her attention back to the bone fragments.
"Now wait a minute, Temperance, you can not tell me how I do or do not feel about you, ok? I care about you, I care about you a lot, so don't give me this crap about not caring because I do," he replied, feeling his temper fraying.
Brennan put the bone she had been examining done on the table with more force than she would have done normally as she glared across the table at him. "A year ago, Booth, I would have believed you but now? I don't even know who you are! Where has the Booth I know gone?"
Booth levelled her with a glare of his own and was about to comment but Brennan was too far ahead of herself to back down now.
"Why is Hannah so different, huh?" she demanded, "Why do you persistently flaunt her in my face? You've never made such a big deal about a woman before; you've never changed your behaviour towards me because of a change in your personal life." She paused to regard him for a few moments, "Why, if you are so happy, so in love do you feel the need to prove it every chance you get, unless…?" she trailed off.
"Unless what, Temperance?" Booth spat.
"Unless you want me to be jealous," she said slowly, watching his reaction, "unless you want so badly to prove that you can have a meaningful relationship, to show me what I was missing out on and to convince yourself, and me, that you have moved on."
Booth grit his teeth at the hope that had crept unknowingly into Brennan's voice, "I told you before: Hannah is not a consolation prize, all right? I love Hannah."
At his words the shutters closed on Brennan's face, "Then there is no place that I fill in your life other than you partner, since that relates to work and you do not have a case for me than I believe this is your cue to leave."
To prove her point she picked up a bone fragment and turned her back on him to examine it under a microscope.
"I came here tonight to make sure you were ok, not to defend my actions or my relationship," Booth said to her back.
"Then why do you persist in trying to do both?" she asked, as she focused the microscope further. "You decided that our relationship is now purely professional; if you can't maintain a professional distance than perhaps we should no longer work together."
"I didn't decide that, Bones, you did," he told her quietly.
Brennan looked at him over her shoulder, "No, Booth, you decided that when you came home with Hannah's picture."
Booth regarded her back for a long moment before he walked away.
Brennan didn't notice she was crying until the bone fragment she was examining suddenly became blurred.