email: stakes_and_crossbows@hotmail.com
rating: PG-13
disclaimer: Joss's, not mine.
summary: Post "You're Welcome"; Lindsey's cut a deal with TPTB, Cordelia's not finished yet, throw in some slayers and various other things.
spoilers: Angel the Series, up until "You're Welcome"
Cacophony
Chapter One
Dealings
He had a deal with Them. Not the Them who everyone at the office had been afraid of, but the other Them.
Which explained the fact that he wasn't worried. Sure, the climate was a little hotter here - actually, make that a lot hotter. Twisted irony made him chuckle bitterly at the fact that he had thrown off his shirt in the fight with Angel.
Angel.
Fucking bastard.
His eyes narrowed, anger rising up inside him. A mood suitable to the dimension that the Senior Partners called home. Hell was an apt description. It was a wasteland, leading down from the hill he was on. A red hue dominated much of the scenery, dark clouds in the sky that were probably poisonous - Wasn't that was Rickson had said once? There was a pathway, yes.
"The righteous shall walk a thorny path." The quote was thrown back at him, goaded on by the all but non-existant footpath through a patch of thorns. A bitter smile and he began to walk down the path, an invisible sun beating hot rays down on his bare shoulders. The thorns scraped at the ankles of his pants, some of the sharp plants reaching up to try and attack his knees as he walked.
"Do you think they're angry?" An understated, overwhelming yes. If anger could be expressed through land, well, the ground he was walking on was all but quaking with it.
He nearly fell into the next of throrns as the ground felt like it was yanked out from under him. Scratch the previous thought. The ground was even quaking from the anger of the Senior Partners. He jerked back, trying to stay upright.
Lindsey McDonald, you are fucked, he thought with clarity. There really wasn't anything to it. He was royally screwed. Royally screwed by Wolfram and Hart, the Senior Partners, the Powers That Be (who probably had been playing him all along) and, of course, Angel.
The thorns had ended now, and ground stretched out before him. Well, until it met a door. There wasn't really anything special about it. Regular door-height, painted a shade of beige all too common for offices and houses. There was something practical about beige.
"I suppose I have to go through that door?" A question, not really directed at anyone. He didn't expect and answer and turned the handle, swinging the door open before stepping through it.
His eyebrows raised with shock. There was no more wasteland of hell. This was familiar ground now. Too familiar. A quick glance around revealed that yes, it was indeed his old office in Wolfram and Hart. Except sitting in his chair was someone who definetely shouldn't be there.
"Lilah?"
"You disappoint us, Lindsey," Lilah - not Lilah, merely a physical representation of the Senior Partners, Lindsey reminded himself - said. She was dressed impeccably, as she had been in life.
"You're dead." Lindsey stated the fact, simple as it was.
"Contracts at Wolfram and Hart run long beyond death," not-Lilah reminded him. She gestured to a single file folder on the desk. "You still are bound by yours."
This was definetly one of those things that came back and bit you on the ass. Sure, Lindsey had quit. But, seriously. You don't walk away from Wolfram and Hart. It's one of those impossible things.
"So, what now?" Lindsey crossed his arms, slouching slightly. "Fire and brimstone, the whole deal? Eternal torment? Or something more creative?"
Not-Lilah smiled. But that wasn't right, because the real Lilah never smiled. "You're extremely gullible, Lindsey. You're believing all the things I'm telling you?" she chuckled slightly. "Just like you believed Darla when she was playing you."
Lindsey's eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"
"Turn around, Lindsey, and walk through that door," not-Lilah said.
Lindsey half-turned, eyeing the door with a new-found waryness. "Why should I?"
"Because you're going to," not-Lilah said smugly.
Casting a suspicious glance back over his shoulder at her, Lindsey cautiously pushed the door open and stepped out of it.
It was white. The glow-y white, like before.
Cordelia groaned. One trip through shiny lalaland of the Higher Powers had been enough. Of course, the upside now was that she was actually dead and it wasn't one of Them deciding to hijack her body. Or at least, she hoped it wasn't. It sure as hell better not have been, or she would be kicking someone's ass from there to kingdom come.
"You know what?" Cordelia called out, hands on hips. The soft whiteness of the place made it rather hard to focus on things. "This really, really sucks. I mean, I'm glad I got to say good-bye and all. But the dying? Sucks a whole lot."
"Of course it sucks." The voice was soft, almost inaudiable. "That's why people keep trying to think up ways to avoid it."
Cordelia turned to see a pale girl there. Pale skin, pale blonde hair, white clothing. The only colour on her seemed to be in her eyes and the purple streaks in her hair.
"Who are you?" Cordelia arched an eyebrow. This was different from last time; last time it had been just herself.
The pale girl smiled lopsidedly. "Names aren't really important. I'm just the messanger. You can call me Cassie, though."
"Don't tell me they're still not done with me," Cordelia rolled her eyes. "I became freaking part-demon, got hijacked by one of their own and even died. And now you tell me they're still not done with me?"
"Actually, it's you who isn't done." Cassie said.
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Nope," Cassie replied. "See, this whole coma thing wasn't supposed to last this long. But the mindwipe that Angel agreed to altered reality and messed some things up with you."
"Oooh, I am so going to kick his ass," Cordelia muttered under his breath.
"So, we kind-of screwed up," Cassie shrugged. "Which altered a whole bunch of things."
"What do I have to do?" Cordelia sighed, somewhat resignedly. Dealing with Angel and the PTB for a few years now, she had a good internal radar of when she was really needed.
"You've got a new mission," Cassie began. "I can only explain so much, then let you off where you need to go."
Cordelia raised an eyebrow.
It was a normal neighbourhood. Over there were a few roads, lined with houses and he was standing on the corner of an intersection, facing what looked to be like a school. Confused, Lindsey turned around, taking in his new surroundings. Normal. As if such a thing existed. He was rather surprised that no one was gawking at him, the man who appeared out of nowhere without a shirt on.
The reason for that would probably be that he was now wearing a shirt. He was also wearing new pants and carrying a briefcase. His eyes narrowed in suspicion as he opened the briefcase. Papers were in it, in no disconcernable order. There seemed to be sheafs of paper on basic law principles, as well as what appeared to be a seating chart.
Lindsey looked from the contents of the briefcase to the school across the street. And back to the briefcase, then the school again. He groaned.
"You have got to be kidding me."
"Kidding you? They've got to be kidding me." The voice belonged to Cordelia Chase. Cordelia Chase who looked no different from the previous encounter Lindsey had had with her. Right down to the pissed-off expression on her face.
end chapter one.