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Chapter One – Sad Realizations
Amu's POV
"I don't wanna go!" I screamed at the ceiling. Miki rolled her eyes at me. She probably thought it was stupid of me support an idea that I actually couldn't stand. Of course I had acted as if I loved and supported the idea of me, Hinamori Amu, hosting and being in absolute control of the up coming Valentine's dance, when it was suggested, back during the Guardians meeting. But now, when I slipped out of my "Cool and Spicy" character, I was terrified and absolutely appalled by the idea of taking over the Guardians to plan this dance.
I walked to the Guardian 's Meeting with Nagihiko and Rima at my sides, half listening to their conversation and half dreaming about the peaceful time I was going to have a home since I didn't have homework today. I suddenly zeroed in on the topics of the conversation when I heard my name, ready to scream and shout and argue if they were once again afraid and worried about me. I sighed with relief when I caught that Rima was just explaining that Yaya, herself, and I had planned to go shopping this weekend. Luckly this topic was a safe one and needed no imput from me so I zoned out until we reach the table, the rest of our friends already there.
"Sorry to keep you guys waiting. Rima was taking her sweet time leaving the classroom." Nagihiko apologized, sending a teasing glance at Rima. I inwardly winced at memories and feelings I had promised myself to forget and move on. Rima huffed and sat down next to me, Tadase strait across smiling in greeting.
"No problem, I guess we'll get right down to the point of this meeting. It's to discuss the Valentine's dance coming up," Tadase stated acting all business-like while Yaya cheered about chocolates, "The students and staff came up with the idea that someone else should lead the Guardians in organizing the dance." I frowned slightly at that, the King's chair had always been in charge, 'Who could they possibly give that power to?'
"Dude, who's in charge then? I can't do it, I'm already swamped with soccer practice, the most I could do is the usual share as Jack's chair." Everyone nodded their agreements and offered the excuses, looking confused and apologetic. I was the only one who didn't have something more to do eating up my time. I prayed to god that the feeling of impending doom in my gut was wrong.
"Hinamori-san was the one the students and staff thought should take over." Tadase replied looking at me with everyone following his example, "But if that's not okay with you Hinamori-san, than we can do it as we always have." He ended this sentence with a questioning smile, curious to my answer. I made sure not to show it but I was panicking on the inside, absolutely freaking about having control. But sadly my "Cool and Spicy" character took over flipping my hair over my should as I rolled my eyes and stated in a voice dripping with boredom, "Whatever."
"Amu," Miki sighed bringing back from my memories, "You should have refused, said you didn't want to. Now you're stuck with it and that's final. Now stop feeling sorry and acting like a little kid. Your 16, for Pete's sake, act like it!" I rolled over and sat up to look at my charas, their eyes concerned but supporting.
"Fine," I pouted, "I guess your right, but who the hell am I going to take! I have to take someone! If I don't I'll be a laughing stock of the whole school." Miki rolled her eyes once again, muttering something about being silly and caring about what others think; Ran cheered me on, saying I'd find someone perfect; and Su comforted and soon joined Ran in her cheers. For things so small they could make one hell of a noise. I stood up and made my way to the balcony, Su and Ran tried to follow but Miki stopped them. I'd have to thank her for that later; right now I needed time to think.
It had been 4 years since we had fought Easter for the last time and finally captured the Embryo, and during that time Utau had once again risen to fame, by her own power this time, and Ikuto had disappeared. I shock my head as the tears threatened to spill down my face, not realizing I was starting to cry and silently scolded myself for doing something as childish as to cry. I was done with crying over and waiting for that perverted cat to come back. Right after we grabbed the Embryo and Easter fell, he was just gone. Utau said it was probably because he was on the run from still-loyal Easter goons but that did nothing to ease the pain. At first I didn't realize why it hurt that he was gone or that he never said goodbye, and I made up excuses like "He's so stupid and immature, I'm probably just worried he'll get hurt and not properly take care of the wound." I made up hundreds of excuses, but slowly they faded from my mind to be replaced by a nagging little voice that said I should grow up and admit it, I was in love. It wasn't until Miki had exploded on me one day that I finally came to terms with it and admitted that yes, I love Tsukiyomi Ikuto. Ran and Su were shocked and frantic, but Miki understood and helped me through the night filled with tears and screaming, mostly at that stupid cat for leaving but some at myself for not seeing this sooner.
With the broken and painful realization of my feelings for Ikuto came the welcome realization of my feelings for Tadase, he was my friend. Nothing less, nothing more, and he never would be. I no longer blushed and stuttered for the princely figure, which threw him for a loop at first but Nagihiko helped him with that, just like he helped me get through the school days where I came close to tears and nearly broke down in front of the school screaming "Fuck you love, just leave me alone!" Rima was also there, even if she had a slightly unnerving way of comforting someone; and Yaya was, well, Yaya. Kukai was back with us, (he and Nagihiko were both Jacks, while Yaya was Ace, Rima was Queen, Tadase was King, and myself as Joker) and he always took me running when he sensed I was more distressed than normal. They were all there for me, whether they were totally aware of the situation or not, and Utau was too, though she wouldn't admit it to my face, she did express her concerns for my welfare to her boyfriend, Kukai.
They had gotten together only a couple of weeks after the battle, making me feel slightly guilty for worrying them and causing there moments together to be spent worrying over me. Rima and Nagihiko also started going out nearly 2 ½ years ago, so I was in fact wasting everyone's love life worrying about my own. When I found this bit of information out I went absolutely ballistic and showed them that just because Ikuto was gone, doesn't mean I need everybody patting my head and throwing me pity-parties.
I came back to reality when I heard the front door open and Mama call up, asking if I was home. Sighing I yelled back, "Yes Mama, I'm home," and casted a quick glance at my reflection in the glass door to make sure my face didn't give away any of my sadness. The last thing I need is my parents' pity and worry too. Mama proceeded smiley and bubbly into my room and, upon seeing me staring into space, cooed, "Dinner is here! Your Papa and I picked up pizza on the way home with Ami!"
Nodding my head I turned and followed her backstairs, leaving my balcony door wide open, the only thing giving away the small hope I had that he would come back.
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Su's POV
I was really worried about Amu-chan! She always uses that "Cool and Spicy" fake character to solve her problems, only causing herself more harm! Miki-chan wouldn't let Ran and I come with her out on the balcony to cheer her up, just giving us slight reassurance that our master would be fine. We watched as Amu-chan and her mother walked down the stairs, Amu-chan looking as if she might break at any second. Ran suddenly noticed the balcony door was open and made to close it.
"Stop that! Amu left it open for a reason. Leave it alone and come on to dinner." Miki stated, annoyance at our pink-haired sister evident in the way she slamed her notebook shut.
"But Miki!" Ran wailed, "Why did she leave it open? Why does she ALWAYS leave it open? And why do you always stop us from going out there to cheer her up?" Ran didn't like being left in the dark, especially when Amu-chan was concerned.
"Because Ran -" Miki started but I interrupted, "Miki-chan, Ran-chan, we really should followed Amu-chan, desu. Of they might eat all the pizza, desu!" This was an argument that had been going on for a very long time and never got anywhere, seeing as Miki-chan always answered the same way. Ran-chan gasped and nodded energetically floating out the door and down the hallway, while Miki-chan rolled her eyes and followed our sister. As I was leaving the room I reached up and turned off the lights, smiling at Teddy-kun and saying, "We'll be back soon, Teddy-kun, desu. Watch the door and tell us if anyone comes, desu."