A/N
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Super Mario. All right to go to their respective owners. Also, this story is a request by Barbacar, so credit goes to him for the basic plot.
TIMELINE: Same day as A Morning with Mr. and Mrs. Koopa and Rosalina Makes Space Brownies. All of them take place one month before Mario Fanfiction.
DAISY WAS BORED. She had a list of princess chores on her bedside...but that was all BORING STUFF.
While she procrastinated, she went to see if her friends were doing anything cool. She dialed Luigi's number.
"Hello, this is'a Luigi. I'ma probably going on some awesome adventure with Mario right now, so I can'ta answer the phone, but leave a message after the 'beep' and I'lla get back to ya."
She hung up. There was no point. His adventures with Mario took FOREVER (Like, ALL DAY forever). Maybe Peach wanted to do something fun. She dialed her number.
"Hey, Peach? It's me, Dai-"
"Hello, you've reached Princess Peach's voicemail. I can't come to the phone at the moment, probably because I'm being captured again, so leave a message, and I'll call you back when Mario and Luigi save me."
She hung up again. There still wasn't any point. Just like it took Mario and Luigi FOREVER, so it did for get Peach back home. She forgot that when Mario and Luigi go on an adventure, it was usually because Bowser took Peach. For a minute, she considered even calling Bowser or the Koopalings out of SEVERE boredom, but then she realized they were probably busy too. Damn...who else was there left to call?
Wait. Shuddering she knew...there was...one person...who might want to hang out with her...but oh, come on! She couldn't be that desperate and lonely, could she?
Well, okay. Guess you might as well be a good little ruler, and get those boring princess-y chores done.
...Fine...she'd call him.
"...Wa, hello?"
"Hey, Waluigi, it's me, Daisy." A pause. "...Please tell me this isn't an answering machine."
"...Oh my gosh. She...she called me. She called me! Wahahaha! This is the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"
"Yeah, whatever. Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to do something fun with me today? Like, I dunno...maybe some sports or something?"
"Really? You...you mean it?"
"I'm that bored."
"Well, Waluigi would lo-!"
"WALUIGI!" a deeper voice came from the other side. "WHO THE UNDERWHERE YOU TALKIN' TO?!"
"Uh, no one, Wario."
"You're not talkin' to those salespeople again, are you?"
"No, it's not-"
"WHATEVER YOU'RE SELLING, WE'RE NOT INTERESTED!" Ouch. She rubbed her ear where Wario was yelling, just before she heard a loud crash. She thought he tried to hang up the phone, but didn't do so properly, because she could still hear him. "Now come on! We've got a full day of bad-guy errands ahead of us!" Waluigi sighed, and she could hear him walk away. Hanging up, she betted they'd figure out they left their phone on sooner or later. Why did she even have their number again? Sure as hell, she couldn't remember.
So there was no one available today?! Sighing, she flopped face-up onto the bed. Then what was she gonna do today?
Those princess-y chores?
OF COURSE NOT!
She didn't need them. She didn't need ANY OF THEM. She was an awesome person. And she was gonna go on a big ol' adventure, ALL BY HERSELF!
In her closet, she found a skin-tight black suit with orange lining, and a pair of sunglasses to match. Next to that, she picked up a slightly faded orange mallet.
Oh yeah...time for Daisy to have a little fun, she thought.
"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!" a toad on top of a lookout tower wailed.
A group of Goombas, Koopas, and lots of other Bowser's minions started charging towards Sarasaland.
"Bring it," Daisy whispered, a huge grin pulling over her face.
With a sudden strength in her arms and legs, one by one she smacked 'em in the face, sending them flying until they become a twinkle in the sky.
SHE FELT A POWER-UP COMING ON! With her hammer growing SUPER HUGE IN SIZE, she smacked the remaining minions away, and the sky became a starry day for a good five seconds.
Everyone started cheering:
"She saved us!"
"Princess Daisy saved us!"
"Excellent job, your highness." Daisy's toad advisor strolled up to her. "Now then, you do have a list of other things that need to get done today..."
"ARE YOU KIDDING?!" she grabbed him by his tiny shoulders. "THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING, WHAT I DID RIGHT THERE!"
"Y-yes, and w-we're very glad for that, but-" he stammered.
"I...I gotta do more." Laughing maniacally as she ran from Sarasaland, she screamed up to the Overthere: "I GOTTA DO MORE!"
Daisy saw the Mushroom kingdom had a Goomba and Koopa problem...
...HAMMER TIME, BITCHES!
Soon she started smacking every Goomba, Koopa, Bandit, and other baddies in sight!
SMASH! *Twinkle!*
SMASH! *Twinkle!*
SMASH! *Twinkle!*
"HALT!" Daisy turned to find police toads behind her. She glared at them. "We'd have no problem if you were smacking away Bowser's minions, but those people are registered members of the Mushroom Kingdom!" The leader explained. "You're coming with us."
"...DON'T TELL DAISY WHAT TO DO! HIIIII-YA!" She smacked him as hard as she could with her mallet, sending him flying into space. "You guys are next," she growled with a smile on her face.
SMASH! SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH!
*TWINKLE!* *TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE!*
Stupid toads. They might've be cops...BUT SHE WAS A FREAKIN' PRINCESS! SHE OUTRANKED THEM!
Daisy took a cigar from a pack of many that she rolled herself the other day out of her hammerspace inventory. She held it between her teeth and lit it with her lighter. Sucking, she savored the warm, creamy taste. Blowing out, a hot feeling overtook her body. Her skin-tight suit turned to a knee-length white red dress with a poofy skirt and sleeves, and a hood giving her markings similar to that of a raccoon. Must be the tanooki and fire-flower power-ups she used to make this. She was now...
FIRE TANOOKI DAISY!
She saw a cannon and some unlit bob-ombs not too far from her.
How about I take a ride? she thought.
Daisy took some of the sacks, and filled them with as many bombs as she could carry. Lighting the end of the rope with her cigar, she blasted off to who-knows-where! NO STOPPING HER NOW!
"Malleo, are we there yet?"
"No, Luigi. Still have'a three worlds to go."
"Uggggh..."
"HEADS UP, BOYS!" She made a perfect landing right in front of them.
"...Daisy?" Luigi's eyes widened in his usual cowardice. Lighting two bombs with her cigar, Daisy tossed one each at the Mario Bros. Mario dodged, but Luigi wasn't so lucky; he had gotten cartoonish black marks all over his body. There was no time to waste now, Daisy had more things to blow up! Lighting another bob-omb with her cigar, she blasted herself a good distance away so they couldn't catch her.
Now then, where was another cannon? Right there! Taking a puff, Daisy put her sack of bombs in her hammerspace inventory, lit up that puppy, hopped in, and BLASTED OFF LIKE TEAM ROCKET!
"Do you have a six?"
The cigarette at the end of the golden cigarette holder made smoke in the shape of a Cheep Cheep. A moment later, it makes smoke in the shape of a 6, then a "?".
"Go cheep-cheep."
BOOM! SMASH THROUGH THE WALL!
"AW, WHAT THE HECK?!" Bowser roared. "I JUST HAD THAT FIXED!"
Lightin' up the bombs, Daisy threw one each at Bowser and Sparkly Rosegold Peach across the room, and ran while there was smoke.
"Hot potato! Hot potato!" ...Was that the Koopalings? "Hot potato! Hot potato!" they sang. Peeking her head around the corner of a room, she found the Koopalings, playing with a small black ball. She was pretty sure they didn't notice her. Lighting a bomb, she rolled it into their circle.
"BOMB!" Wendy screams.
She almost choked on her cigar from laughing when the bomb blew up in their faces. Well, couldn't stay there! Daisy knew there was a cannon room in the castle somewhere...
...Aha! There it was! All she had to do now was light it up, and FLY AWAY! WHEEE!
"Alright. Think we lost 'em, Waluigi." The car driving alongside the country road she landed next to was close enough to throw a bomb at it. Lighting it, she closed one eye. Aim...aim...NOW!
BOOM! Perfect shot! Gave those dirty thieves a flat tire!
Wario looked dazed, and probably had no idea what was going on.
Waluigi kept an awkward stare with her from the distance. "Call me!" he chimed.
"Ew," Daisy muttered, taking a puff of her cigar.
Going to find the next cannon, she knew she had better find one soon: her cigar was almost out.
"I present to you...THE RANDOM EVENT WHEEL!" ZombieCat said out loud to no one "...So...what does it do?" she said in an aside voice. "I'm glad you asked!" she exclaimed, her voice going back to normal. "Every three chapters, I pick someone to spin this thing, and something happens. What happens, I don't really know but..."
Tsssssss…
BOOM! "Who knew inter-dimensional cannons could be so awesome?!" Daisy asked out loud.
"Daisy?! When the heck did you get here?!" Emptying the bags of bombs on the floor, Daisy prepared to light the whole place up with her remaining bombs. "Wait!" ZombieCat pulled a remote out of her hammerspace. A large, golden game-wheel got lowered into the floor, and the floor closes after that. ZombieCat got out a box of matches. "Okay. Let me help you with that." Smiling, they lit the bombs together and then,
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
THE LARGEST EXPLOSION DAISY HAD ALL NIGHT KNOCKED HER AWAY!
SHE HIT THE GROUND SOMEWHERE...THEN EVERYTHING WENT BLACK.
Choo-choo!
Bright sunlight hit her face. Damn...where was she? Sitting up, Daisy noticed her white-and-red Tanooki dress was gone. Her black-and-orange skin-tight bodysuit was now tattered, and her sunglasses were broken. Boy, that was one helluvan adventure.
*BING-BOONG.*
"Next stop, Desert Station," said the voice over the speaker.
Desert Station? That was really close to Sarasaland!
Okay, I've procrastinated enough. Better get back home and get those stupid chores over-with. Daisy decided.
When the train pulled into the station, she tried to sneak away from the crowds. Some sort of instinct told her it was a good idea not to draw attention to herself right now.
"FREEZE!" Oh crap. It was those cop-toads from earlier. And they brought weapons this time. Daisy could've used her hammer against them, but she didn't feel that awesome adventure-strength anymore.
On the way to the nearest police station, they explained her crimes: physical assault, theft of explosives, breaking and entering, and general disturbance of the peace.
...She decided the fun was worth it while it lasted.
"Well, well, well, lucky you," the jailer said as he opened her cell door. "A friend took pity on you and decided to bail you out."
An irritated princess in a pink dress came up behind him, folding her arms as she glared at her.
"PEACHY!" Daisy stumbled, wrapping her arms around her before she could push her away.
"What sort of trouble did you get yourself into this time?"
"I'll tell you all about it on the way home."