A/n: This will probably be a series of oneshots on Dr. Cullens different patients, if you have a favourite character you want in Dr. Cullen's office review and let me know! Also, I don't hate Jacob, he's alright, so no offence to the Jacob lovers out there! Please read and review!

Dr. Carlisle Cullen, M.D.
~Chapter 1~

Forks, Washington is one of the most dangerous towns in the U.S.A.; considering its inhabitants include a coven of vampires, and a pack of werewolves. So, when faced with a medical dilemma, who better to call on then, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, M.D. , V.A.M.P.I.R.E!

It was a day like any other day. Dr. Cullen sat in his office, reading the morning newspaper and waiting for his emergency patients to arrive. Suddenly, he heard some hollering from down the hall, which was then followed by his door bursting open to reveal Billy Black, wheeling along with one hand, and dragging his son by the ear, with his other hand. When he came to a stop Jacob yelped as he was jerked forward to stand right in front of Dr. Cullen.

"There's something wrong with my son, doctor!" Billy Black exclaimed in a panic. Carlisle covered his nose, "its ok Mr. Black we can give him some prescription deodorant for that smell" Dr. Carlisle explained, and Jacob sniffed under his arms as Carlisle wrote up a prescription for him.

"It's not that doctor! I'm hairy all over, growing a tail, and I think I might have fleas!" Jacob exclaimed, finally speaking up, and emphasizing his symptoms by scratching himself. Billy pulled Carlisle down by the collar and whispered in his ear. Jacob caught snippets of what his father was saying, something along the lines of, "...other night I caught him...a pillow...chair leg...on the carpet...and with a CHEWTOY!" Billy whispered frantically.

"I see, I see..."Carlisle said deep in thought and glanced around the room for a while, then finally focusing on a lamp that was in the corner. Walking over to it, he quickly took off the lampshade and shoved it over Jake's head.

"There you go! That should help him to stop the scratching." Carlisle explained and wheeled Billy off to the side as Jacob scratched at the lampshade, stumbling around in circles, knocking things off Carlisle's desk, trying to get it off to see again, while Dr. Cullen explained the problem to Billy.

"Mr. Black, it would seem-"

CRASH

"That your son-"

THUD

"Believes that he is some sort of dog."

BOOM

"I suggest you take him to a psychologist, or, if the problem persists, and you catch him doing "that" again, then he will need to be neutered." Jacob yelped, picking up the last part of their conversation, and let out a high pitched whine. He then got down on all fours and tried to run for the exit. Sadly, the wall got in his way and he had to shake of the stunned feeling, before bumping his way out the door, howling, as he tried to find his way out of the hospital.

"Thank-you, Dr. Cullen," Billy said shaking Carlisle's hand, "I better go put him on his leash before he starts chasing traffic again." Billy wheeled out of the room and shut the door behind him. Dr. Carlisle Cullen stood proudly with his hands on his hips and his chaotic mess of an office in the background, thinking to himself.

'It feels great to be a vampire and be able to help humans'

Yup, it was just like any other day for Dr. Carlisle Cullen, M.D., V.A.M.P.I.R.E., and VET extraordinaire!