The Prompt: "FemShep/Liara baby post ME2"
What if during a night on Hagalaz Liara mapped Shepard's DNA assuming she would not survive her Suicide Mission. Obviously this alters all of ME3's story line with their child.
Can be short, such as regarding Shepard's feelings when she finds out about the child (pre arrest or post Mars (in me3)).
Or long, a run through of ME3 with their daughter.
Also, Liara can either still be pregnant (I'd imagine asari have longer gestation period than humans). Or, Shepard spent a longer amount of time incarcerated and Liara gave birth before the Reaper attack on Earth.
Bonus for short!fill
FatherxDaughter bonding time! And a brief happy family moment.
If A!A wants can be BroShep, though I prefer F!Shep.
The Fill:
anyone can have kids, even if you're stupid.
ask your parents, they did.
can't be that hard!
names are sticky things - find one that really sings.
please, oh please, be good!
if they're mine, they should do as i say.
do as i say, not as i do.
playtime and pretend, imaginary friends.
and i think we can raise 'em right.
books read before bed, can't get them out my head.
and i think we can raise 'em right.
first dates and heartbreaks, and homemade birthday cakes.
and i think we can raise 'em right.
one day, i swear it, you could be a parent.
and when that day comes, then we'll know if we raised you right.
Raise 'em Right, by Shy Kids
They dragged her away from her pregnant girlfriend, like some trashy daytime holovid that EDI would have broadcasted inside the Normandy, on the slow days. Thankfully, or perhaps this only made it worse, they were communicating over the extranet on a terminal. So Liara didn't literally witness Shepard being physically dragged away by guards, yelling, telling Liara to wait for her.
The asari mostly only was able to hear Jane kicking and fighting to at least say goodbye, "c'mon, come the fuck on, my girl's pregnant! Do you have no compassion?" Their response was keeping silent, and pulling out stun guns to send their message for them.
When she twisted her head, searching for the archeologist turned information broker, all she saw was a blue blur.
So then Shepard had to sit with ruffled clothes and mussed hair, before an Alliance board, to discuss her actions. While she dealt with the knowledge that her lover was carrying her child. After a few minutes, her mental health was brought up, and for once, Jane didn't mind. She certainly felt like heading for being a catatonic. She wanted pills and shots, anything to take her mind off that bulge she'd seen, small, but mighty.
A whole new day of discoveries. That if you didn't respond to any of the questions, the board would still sit there and ask you them again, over and over. And Shepard found that she had a hard time going anything on a terminal that wasn't hacking, especially when wearing cuffs.
She'd thought their last time together had been magical, but that was from a combination of seeing her again after so long, the gratefulness to be alive, and that Liara had learned some new tricks from presumably holovids.
Nope. DNA mapping. Christ, if that's what made it so intense, Shepard had the feeling she and Liara would be up to their necks in little blue children.
What had Liara, said, while Jane gaped, mind a pretty blank of panic that had proved a filter for any words headed her way? About the gestation period, about the due date, about the changes she was going through, and finally getting a hold of Shepard, was this a bad time, I did this because I thought you were never coming back, where are you, why are there guards there, are you wearing handcuffs?
Maybe, even a possible name had been uttered?
A name, for Liara's daughter. Shepard's daughter. Their little daughter.
Shepard's face slowly broke into a grin.
She couldn't wait to tell everyone else. Especially her own Mom. Could only imagine Hannah's reaction; especially since her mom didn't even know she was seeing anyone, especially not an asari.
At her smile, the court appointed psychiatrist really did come in there for an examination.
From there, it was a matter of asking to use the restroom, stealing an omni-tool from a woman's purse, and sending a desperate message to Liara, asking that she be broken out of here, Shepard had just seen Ashley, and no doubt the soldier would help her, especially when finding out that Liara was pregnant, which was amazing, and thanks for informing me, I want to be there for every kick and sonogram. And that she loved Liara, so very much, and their baby.
'As soon as I get out of this possible-court-martial, I'll be right at your side. Are you at the Citadel, or Illium?'
Then the guards were breaking down the bathroom partition and wrenching the omni-tool away from her. And ruining her insanity defense, apparently. Her reputation also affected, as they put cuffs around her ankles and shuffled her ass back to the court, so the Alliance could see how low she'd fallen.
At least Anderson was by her side, to say hello to a surprisingly unsurprised Ashley and to make introductions to this hulking soldier that went by the name Vega. Who did not have the best poker face.
And then everything went further to hell. Literally, considering how quickly the flames spread as the Reapers decided as soon as Jane made it before the Board, that this was the time to attack Earth. Leaving her to hop away from the carnage, until Anderson managed to wretch the cuffs off her. So she could face the slow destruction of her homeworld, see innocent people including a young boy, with some proper dignity.
So she could get onboard the Normandy again, leaving behind Anderson and back in command with Ashley and Joker and EDI, and that big soldier. Headed back towards Mars, where apparently Liara was waiting, with plans to save the galaxy along with their daughter.
The Reapers, despite all their other flaws, did have good timing.
"It's a good thing you were still able to slip through those vents."
"Hello, Shepard—"
"And how are you, little baby blue? You okay, how are your crests coming along? Your Mom getting rest? Eating right? Are you already trying to kick my head?"
As untimely as their child's conception was, Shepard didn't regret a thing. Didn't even wish that Liara had waited. It didn't matter about the war that raged, not when she was feeling her daughter kicking, waking Liara up, whose sprawled limbs would hit Jane as the asari attempted to reason with their child.
"Please. Not tonight. I'd like to get four hours. Since I can't take any sims. Because of you."
While Shepard grinned into a blue arm and her pillow. "Maybe I should sing to her?"
"Oh, alright. So long as it's a proper lullaby meant for children. No bad Earth music involving the mention of anyone's posterior. Let alone that posterior's roundness and how you enjoy seeing it move."
"But the baby likes it!"
At the least, their child gave her an excuse to pull her lover away from her screens. "It's bad for the baby."
"It is not."
"Yes, of course it is. Who knows what damage it might be doing. You think it's good for our daughter?"
"…if I read aloud, it might be."
Jane had already hustled Liara into a different schedule, guilt tripping her into sharing the same bed.
She was getting a trust fund set up, just to make sure. Considering she'd never really had a real retirement savings account and spend more of her life living paycheck to paycheck in her depressing one bedroom apartment back on Earth (and probably still on fire), it was a big adult step. A plan for the future, now that she was forced into thinking about tomorrow. Now that she had dependents, as her new tax forms would reflect, the next time she did her taxes. Which would be who knows when.
Trying to make sure that Liara and their daughter would be okay, even though her bondmate probably had millions stashed away. Signing random things, to be auctioned off later, because if she saved the galaxy, they'd probably be worth something.
As she told the baby, earnestly speaking into a camera, talking to the child she might never see. "I'm your Dad. And I'm going to take care of you. Financially. Emotionally. Physically. I'll make sure that everything turns out okay. For you and Liara. I'll do whatever is necessary to make sure you'll be okay."
Her baby. For whom she had nightmares about, and weird dreams of Liara fighting Cerberus and needing Shepard to breastfeed while using a sniper rifle. The reason she had new hope and a fresh desire to live. She wanted to be there for her daughter's graduation, even if it was only a grade school one, and make an ass out of herself and embarrass her child by painting her face and stomach in the school colors while clapping loudly as her daughter went up to collect her paper.
Filling a stack of ODSs, with everything she could think of that the baby might need to know. First, about her, going into as much detail about her birth as her own mother had done. Early childhood, braces and bad haircuts. Going on about her military training, fellow soldiers, about Alenko (whose name or some form of it she was trying to convince Liara to pick for the baby), about when she became a N7 and then a spectre. Fighting geth. Her own death, and baby, please kick your Uncle Joker in the shins for that, but not too hard. About Cerberus. Her companions.
About the baby's grandparents, on both sides. All about her family history, her cousin Johnny, about her Father's death and about Hannah Shepard and how important honor was to the Shepards. Except for Uncle Carl, who was in jail for public drunkenness and counterfeiting and armed robbery. And Cousin Johnny that never owned up when Jane had jumped off the roof of his house for a bet. "So don't lend him any money, if he comes around. Actually, I never paid my Mother back for that loan she gave me when I was in basic. And I owe Liara money for that terminal screen I broke trying to explain football. Don't give any Shepard money. Unless it's me, because if you have your Mom's brains, you'll probably be rich. And I'm your Dad. So you already owe me.
"Oh. And here's how to throw a spiral. Crap. If your Mom asks, we'll both tell her that Glyph knocked that over."
About meeting Liara, and falling in love with her from nearly the start. "The freckles. Those big eyes. Especially that left one that sometimes twitches. I know you're rolling your eyes, kid, but that's what love does. It makes you dumb and focusing on stupid things. Say crazy things. Bad pickup lines. Ask your mother. She was all over me, and using that prothean beacon as an excuse. Melding with me right there, in front of everyone. Oh, sorry, baby, maybe you don't want to hear that."
About Liara's family. "I think I'm the one that killed your grandma. But it was a mercy killing. Sovereign had gotten into her head. But she fought like hell, and told your Mom how much she loved her and how proud she was of her. Liara knows more about her. She was really into politics. Liked wearing yellow. And she called your Mom 'Little Wing.'"
Going on about Benezia. Using both cupped hands to gesture, "They were this big, bigger than my head!"
"Shepard!"
"Sorry, Li!" Then whispering into the camera. "Seriously. Ask your Grandpa Aeth. She probably already told you about them."
Then explaining about the very recent discovery of Liara's Dad. Who was this badass asari commando. Half krogan. "Yeah, you're sixteenth krogan. You'll probably headbutt everything. Go ahead."
"Don't tell her that."
"But anyway, I wish I'd gotten a holovid of them meeting for you. Really heartwarming. Sometimes, I wonder what Liara would have been like if she'd spent more time with Aethyta. Wouldn't you have probably beaten me up the first time we met? Because I took so long figuring out that laser? Anyway, don't piss Grandpa off."
Piles of personal information, things she'd never shared with anyone. Even Liara, who overhearing some of it had stared at Jane with huge dark eyes. Sitting there on that bed, heartbroken over hearing the damage inside Shepard. "I had no idea that's how you felt, Shepard."
"…and that baby, is how you get the ladies."
A little child she would teach the Shepard Shuffle to, though fuck that name for her way of dancing. Which turned into setting up that camera, "I'll teach our daughter how to dance. 'As soon as I learn to'? Cruel, Liara. See how mean your Mother is to me? That means you have to take my side about things, baby. Come here, Liara, really, it'll be a slow dance. Don't worry, jellybean, this won't turn sexual. Or at least we'll turn the camera off if it does."
Holding a camera with one hand, "Here's how to make eggs. Smash them into a bowl, and pick out the pieces of shell. Then pour it into a pan and add cheese and mushroom and sausage."
Trying to teach her child about math, because it was never too soon, only to have Liara coming up behind her to fix not only the handwriting on the board by the formulas. And answers. "Okay, baby, go to your mom for help with math. And languages. And cooking, since it turns out she taught herself how during that decade at a university. Hell, she's the one that went to a university. God, I'm giving you shit DNA, kid."
Anything that popped into her head. "Here's how to make a tie. It'll drive the girls nuts, if you can pull it off correctly. I mean, the look. Don't go around taking ties off people. And not that you'll necessarily be into woman. Or other asari. Dunno. Whatever you want. Even elcor.
"I love you already. I'm proud of you just for existing.
"Oh, and don't stick anything up your nose."
Reaching for the OSD and omni-tool in the middle of the night. "But don't go into the military. Go be an artist or a rock star or carpenter. Be a teacher. Follow your Grandpa's path and be a bartender. But only follow that advice from Aethyta. Oh, and Santa is real. But the monster under your bed is not."
While Liara was cleaning up Shepard's attempt at making lasagna. "Be nice to your Mom. Even when you become a teenager. Remember that. Since I'll probably be senile at that point, and you asari age so slowly. When she takes you to museums, just savor the time together. Because otherwise, I'll come back from the grave to haunt you.
"What? She knows I'm kidding, Liara."
And she was already picking schools with Liara.
They were going to be the crazed parents that argued at every soccer and skyball match and controlled every aspect of the baby's life. They'd be picking clothes out for her until she was sixty years old. Forcing her into advances classes when she'd rather go out and play, because they couldn't stand the thought of her not being in a safe surrounding. Anything could happen on the playground. A playground Jane knew she would inspect grimly for any safety hazards, and would spend every trip there sitting on the bench, not blinking as the little blueberry went slowly down the slide, dressed in padding and armor.
Their baby would never be able to even climb a tree.
Everything was shifting, contorting itself for their daughter.
Diets changed. Even her own, as she could no longer eat the same things, with Liara sitting across from her, glaring enviously. Them at the Citadel, shopping, got looks, and not the typical ones. "No, stop drinking coffee, Liara, not even decaf. Did you hear, not even decaf! Christ, you see this baby food here? It's expensive, just for mush. Oh, god, the diapers." Then going into the baby store, and having a panic attack at all the things they'd need. Any assurances that they had time eased little pressure on Shepard.
Even if they managed to make it through this, she was a human, and there would only be so much time with their daughter. So many times to coo at her, and change diapers and hang up pictures done in crayon, and get mad over report cards, and then fall in love when she hugged her Mom and Dad, and thanked her for all the handwork they'd done.
Which reminded Shepard to send more messages to her own Mother.
A terrible message sent to Hannah Shepard. 'I'm alive. You okay? Are you even able to read this? Because I have some big news. I know you turned down that promotion, Rear Admiral, but how does the title 'Grandma Hannah' sound to you? It's a girl, we know already. And her Mom is named Doctor Liara T'Soni. She's an asari.
'I think she's trying to get ahold of you too. She's the most amazing person I've ever met. It turns out I got her pregnant a while back, and didn't know, that's why I'm just sending you this message. Maybe she can explain it better?
Okay, she's really having a hard time putting her thoughts into a message. She says she wishes she could know you better. We'll have a big family reunion after this is all over.
'Also, we still don't have a name for the baby? Suggestions?'
Her melding with Liara only got more intense. Less and less a conscious choice on Liara's part. They would be in the same room, and eventually Shepard would feel that pull on her thoughts, the union of their minds, and have to flail out. "Liara, I'm trying to talk to Hackett over here."
"Sorry. Really…but please hurry up."
And then, oh god, it became not even necessarily sexual. A union of bodies and minds. So whatever Liara felt, so might Shepard. Which was not in the least bit fun, although gave new meaning to the concept of empathy. Both their hormones going insane, and leading Jane to calling Miranda, possibly because even including the fratricide, the ex-Cerberus operative was one of the most well put together people she knew. And the other people that could fit that category were sick of hearing her weep and complain, especially Liara.
"Miranda, I haven't had my period in two months. My boobs are so sore! It's terrible. I don't know what to do. This pregnancy is killing me. It's not even sympathy pains. My ankles are seriously swollen."
"…why are you telling me this?"
"I don't know. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Well. I'm a giant asshole."
"No, Shepard, you are just very oblivious."
"Well, you know, if you want a kid, Liara's got some half-sisters. I just made things worse, didn't I?"
"I'm glad to know Liara's onboard the Normandy, to make sure everything's running smoothly."
"She really is. I keep tearing up. Over nothing. Just thinking about my future kid. We got a sonogram done. She's amazing. I think she's this little blur right here."
Jack straight up told her that this was sweet, really cockle warming, but if Shepard ever woke her up at six in the morning again, she'd carve the eyes from the Commander's skull. And give them to the baby.
"Well, Jack. I didn't know you were at Miranda's."
"Slow day. Our units were switched around and doubled up. I'm just crashing in this shit hole. Shut up, girl scout."
Shepard was going to be one of those parents that took out pictures of her kid at any excuse. And because she was a famous hero, everyone would be forced to look at the little blueberry jellybean. People would probably follow them to take vids and pictures of Shepard and Liara and the baby. Every step followed.
None of their privacy being violated was talked about much, as she dragged Liara through another baby store. Shepard remembered those long deep discussions about what their life would be like after this war was over. More than just about what color drapes they'd get. "Can you believe we're having a baby?"
"Yes. As I'm the one that planned it all out. When you showed up on Illium again. I knew I wanted to have your child then. Especially after we defeated the Shadow Broker and saved Feron."
Liara, who would check those unceasing feeds while changing diapers and burping the baby. Liara, all professional while somehow being barefoot and pregnant, as Shepard and Cortez and Vega teased the mystified asari about. "We're living in shame, honey, how our mothers would be so ashamed. I need you at least get some rings on our fingers."
"I don't understand half of what you're saying. Are you talking about a joining ceremony?"
"Grunt will be our ring bearer. No. The flower krogan."
"…I really need to study more about human cultures. After finishing those parenting books you bought by the stack."
When Hannah Shepard did get a chance to contact her daughter, she told Jane that she was glad to see she was alive, but didn't believe this baby nonsense in the least. 'Why are you stilling trying to pull that dumb prank? Stop joking around. You remember the last time we tried to have a family reunion. Yes, I know about the people you were traveling with on the original Normandy, Jane, I know their names. You can't fool me. And I know that you're not dating a doctor.'
Which only spurned Jane to send a message that probably wouldn't even get read, about falling in love and that Liara was a real doctor, or had a doctorate anyway, which still counted. Liara still not being able to explain things over the extranet did not help in proving her existence with the Rear Admiral.
At least Liara's Dad had thrown in a 'good job DNA mapping' at Liara. And they'd just met. "You're really your Mom's kid. She got pregnant really quickly too. We didn't even expect it, but she got a little carried away and-"
"Stop. Please. And stop recording all this, Jane!"
Hannah and Jane had at least those eighteen sometimes admittedly rough years to go off of. That should have gotten some baby advice, at least a thrown out name of a grandmother that wouldn't sound so bad.
While part of her retreated in the solipsism of expecting parents, the rest was able to laugh more. The rest was still able to balance helping the galaxy and dragging Liara back to bed and making sure she took the pre-natal vitamins. Nothing could be too bad, so long as she felt the baby kicking. So long as she looked at one of the copies, and almost see her kid. She and Tali and even Garrus would get into discussions about family and the future, and what they wanted their homes to look like. She even bothered a busy Liara about tile patterns, and if she wanted to settle down on Earth eventually, or Thessia. Or the Citadel. Did she want a slate shower, and what about carpeting?
"Shepard, I am trying to talk to one of the operatives. This is vital for establishing a trade route to get supplies to the asari system."
"So. This color for the walls in our bedroom?"
"No. That's hideous. And I don't know where we'll settle. We'll probably stay on the Normandy for some time."
"How many rooms?"
"At least a couple. I'd need my own office. And you'd need a room for your aquariums. Someplace to put that hamster—away from me."
"He really does hate you. I don't understand how or why. Really, he must be jealous of your glow."
"Really, Shepard, I'm trying to work here. Please. You have to stop. I need to continue talking with this person, and I can't do that if you're doing that."
Though both knew that she didn't have a chance, especially when Jane began kissing the tips of her crests, and her hand slid further down that custom white armor that just about hid any sign of her pregnancy. Kissing that neck, and whispering huskily, "Do you wanna do a theme for the baby's room?"
Her life had changed so much, and there wasn't even a baby here yet. Before, she'd hardly blinked twice at parents, at baby clothes. Now she found herself asking them questions about breastfeeding, did they use formula, what time could you start sending your kid to school, until Liara was dragging her away, reassuring the bemused parents that this was their first child.
She had every reason to believe Kai Leng caused the too-soon birth of her child.
The stress and panic and memories of Thessia the assassin brought must have been what pushed the baby over the edge. There was some weird mind-melding going on, between mother and child, Shepard was pretty sure of. Their daughter had seen or sensed Leng hanging around, and went 'fuck this, I'm getting out.' Already becoming her Father's child, with her sense of timing that caused Liara great pain and trauma. 'Wanting to fight,' Wrex or the baby's stepbrother Grunt or Aethyta might have claimed. 'Alright being a pain in the ass.'
Horrible enough to watch Thane falling, blood sneaking through his fingers, but to see Liara also going to her knees would bring fresh nightmares. As Jane stood there, every ache gone, as her lover held her stomach.
The worst news ever: "I think it's time."
Garrus, as always, was quick to cut to the chase, "Fuck."
As needles shoved their way through Shepard's heart, feeling sick, feeling weak in a way she'd never felt except when getting spaced. Insignificant, and a little speck compared to the galaxy's plans. Only this was hopefully life, rather than another death.
Liara was already turning medical attention onto Thane. "Shepard. Go. Get him. You have to stop him."
The drell also telling Shepard, "We'll be fine here."
She had to run, chase after a murdering assassin, leaving behind a good dying friend and her pregnant girlfriend in the middle of contractions.
For that alone, Shepard would make sure that Leng suffered.
Especially after he'd gotten away again, and she was slogging her already-exhausted ass back to the hospital where she hoped Liara was, even as her mind offered up the pleasant images of her bondmate getting lost there, or getting hurt by Cerberus or bleeding out before she could even get anywhere near help. Something that stole the breathe from Jane, even as she only sped up. Ashley by her side and both still trying to deal with what had happened. About the betrayal. Over nearly shooting each other.
A cluster-fuck of a day. Her daughter, her child, was coming. Born in all this chaos. After being conceived on a ship by Jane Shepard, hero of the galaxy, the woman that had been brought back from the dead, being tricked into impregnating a prothean archeologist that became the infamous Shadow Broker. On a fancy ship that was eventually headed on a suicide mission in hopes of stopping the destruction of the galaxy by a race of sentient ships.
Thank god and goddesses that Shepard was stockpiling money for things like school and braces and ponies or whatever cloned dinosaur creature Grunt would message her about enthusiastically, and inevitably, the future therapy sessions.
There, thankfully, her friends were waiting and directing her to the right area.
Her dear friends that had made sure Liara had a proper wedding shower that made Jane wish she could give Liara a proper wedding. Basking her in presents, most of which were guns or gun accessories, with some things like pacifiers and clothes and this birthing creche that nearly killed Shepard, just to imagine the baby inside. These things, given to protect and help their baby, things that their child would touch in a tiny blue hand.
She'd nearly broken down in tears, and only teasing Grunt and telling him that he now had a baby sister on the way could relieve her stress. Especially telling him in front of Liara, who looked alarmed by the advice given to the krogan to share his toys and to not be jealous of the new baby. "We're just one big happy family. Miranda's the Mom, Aethyta the Dad. EDI's my sister and you're my stepkid."
A thing that had made her bondmate wake up in a cold sweat the following night.
And the asari was already prone to sleep difficulties, her fear of what might happen to their baby, to Jane, to herself from the birth. Through the meld, their problems would only feed off of each other. "Liara, it'll be alright. What? Who gets custody if something happens to both of us? I hadn't thought of that. And what happens if something happens to the first pair of godparents?"
Nothing Shepard did could relieve any anxiety she had. Not even when she'd sat Liara down and told her that they'd already done the impossible so many times, that having a baby wouldn't be a big deal. They could handle child-birth, couldn't they? After defeating countless geth and fighting Reapers? "We'll make it through this okay. I promise."
Thus Liara gave birth on the Citadel, surrounded by other shrieking people. Possibly on the same bed that Williams had been resting on. Ashley, who had nearly gotten shot, and only looked more pained by hearing that Liara was giving birth, because fuck, imagine having to explain that to the Shadow Broker, skipper.
"I know. She would have skinned you. While giving birth."
Then this brief uncomfortable silence.
"I should go. Check on Liara."
Asari birth was supposed to be this magical thing that involved water and spiritual bonding. Sharing with others. A group experience that her race was so good at. Lots of meditation and peace.
Javik had brought one of his pails of water, but that was about as close as it got to a traditional asari birth. Jane felt like she was letting their baby down in the heritage department already, and this was just the start. What was going to happen when it came to the meld-talk and with playing what the hell skyball was? Liara didn't even get the human traditional birth of knocking herself out with pain meds, the sane way. They were needed for soldiers with missing limbs. So without anything to distract her, without anyone that knew how to help with asari births, they all suffered.
Their friends tried to join, to share and experience Liara's pain, to their credit. But after about five minutes, everyone had run out and left Jane and Liara behind. "I'm so sorry, no more. Please. No more!" Praying to whatever god or spirits they believed in. Jane had tried to crawl away to join them in the safety of the crowded hospital halls, but was in too much agony to even scream. She writhed on the hospital chair, not feeling until later that she'd bashed her hand against the steel arms hard enough to dent them and bloody hands, barely noticing when Samara entered.
Samara, who was always in charges when she came into a room. And had three children, and knew exactly how to at least calm Liara's pain, a little. While Jane tried to not use a pistol on herself as she was ripped apart. Nurses coming in and out to check on the dilation, to ask what was wrong with the Commander, as they were just as human and new, untrained with asari physiology. They were there to make sure Liara wasn't hemorrhaging.
"It's too soon. It's too soon."
Jane rung her hands in a way she'd never done before. Trying not to pull out her hair, trying to be calm and not pass out. "We don't even have a name yet!"
"That's what you're worried about?"
"Liara couldn't decide on one. And we're not naming her after my Mom. Not after what she said about us. I wanted to name her after Alenko. Kaidan T'Soni Shepard. K? Kai?"
"You want to name our daughter after the person that nearly killed us?"
"Alane? Benezia? Aethtya? I just want our child to have a name."
"We'll talk about it after. Shepard."
Another wave of pain through both of them.
The only one that stayed besides the two asari and Shepard, was the prothean. Whose face seemed grimmer than normal. Deciding to make sure that Shepard and her lover made it through this alright. Maybe suffering was the only way he could deal with something good.
Amazing how little Liara screamed, while Jane rocked back and forth. How quiet the other two were.
A camera arranged in the corner caught everything, so their daughter would see, here's how you're supposed to breathe in and out, this is how you relax your muscles, this is how to focus in the meld, how you cycle through the pain. Focus on the young one. Capturing Shepard hitting her head against the wall to distract herself, only to be dragged to the bed by Samara.
"It will be easier if you both focus. Shepard, she needs no distractions." Since Liara had only a salarian doctor, that seemed to know his shit, but also had about six other patients dying in the other room. Since Liara was so young, and hadn't planned for this moment. Since her Father, was still missing, and therefore not able to help walk her through this.
Javik needed little direction. He barely washed his hands, and didn't even blink of the bodies being carried through the hallways. The clear glass hallways, with Liara barely hiding behind these curtains. Sometimes, their friends would knock on the glass and give thumbs up, trying to show moral support, the fucking useless asshole bastards.
Samara, in-between making Shepard sit on her hands, and helping Javik keep Liara from using her biotics. "She might be stuck."
Which made Shepard really scratch at her face. "First she won't stay in, and now she won't get out!? Make up your mind, kid!"
While Liara finally snapped and used her biotics to throw that pail of water at Jane. "Don't talk to our daughter that way."
That frantic withheld (mostly) anxiety was coming back in a rush, exposed completely to Liara too. Fears that this was only the beginning, ahead was only doom. She saw their daughter doing all this dumb shit she'd done when she was young, getting drunk in public and pissing herself and having to ride the subway home in stolen sweatpants, the dumb rebellions, "no fuck you mom, holy crap, I'm so sorry, no, put down the coffee table, I'll go clean my room," and not having a real relationship for so long. So much crap she was passing onto her kid, even shoving aside the expectations that their daughter would have to bear.
To say nothing of them doing this again with another-
…and something, from either her or her bondmate was sneaking in the idea of a second child. Of a spare because this one was going to be a disaster, at the least, one that might have a chance of being born with less doom over her head.
We can't go through this again, please, I'm dying over here, please.
We haven't even picked out a name for this one.
Later, much later, Shepard would flip open a book that had been lost beneath Liara's bed, and discover there was supposed to be real messages and meditation techniques, a group of asari that ranged from maidan to matriarch. This circle of life thing where the soundtrack could be Lion King-esque. The partner was often not even there, half the time, rather than reaching for their bondmate's hand and getting it crushed to what felt like pulp. It was to be a deep meaningful experience rather than something Shepard would later want to repress. Liara was supposed to get through basically skipping and singing, rather than screaming and crying and filling their meld with trauma and cursing Jane's existence, who replied that this whole thing had been Liara's idea, don't blame me, goddamn it.
Samara had to break it up. "She's crowning."
Okay, the baby had a head. That was good, that allowed Jane to keep breathing loudly through her mouth as the other asari had told them to do. Only Javik didn't need to, his every breath measured and calm.
Doctors and nurses had apparently given up on them, checking in only periodically, offering aspirin to Jane, who had one point slapped an offered hand aside. Something she learned only after watching the vid of this all. Strange to watch herself losing whatever sanity she'd had, hair a sweaty mess, losing bits of her paint-scraped armor as the hours slid into each other, her and Liara sniping at each other over anything that popped into their minds, Javik rolling all four eyes more than once while the justicar talked to them all and tried to ease the tension. Behind them, their friends lounging and occasionally eating, waving at the camera, sneaking in to say hello and recording a few words for the baby.
Aethyta finally showed up, in armor, with take-out she'd gotten from somewhere, fresh from herding people to safety and bearing cigars and booze. Her presence helped at least calm Liara down, even as she muttered insults aimed at them both for doing this now, when this kid was still a kid, really pushing things, and who are you, what the hell are you?
It was not a movie that anyone would really want to sit down to watch, except out of masochism. Shepard was sure their daughter would never come home to whatever home they were in and pop this one into a terminal with a bowl of popcorn. Jane saw a blue asari that resembled Liara for the most part, but looking through the world with her own green eyes. Forced to look with those eyes onto the galaxy that may or may not last long.
She would have her own expectations for her parents, all children did. She would look to Liara, who would rise to the challenge with grace and poise and brilliance. Aethyta would be the good grandfather, giving inappropriate advice and stories. Everyone else the kind, badass Aunt and Uncle. Shepard would be the father…she just didn't know what type of father she'd be. Those tapes were a hodgepodge of dumb advice and jokes and serious whining and half-assed philosophy, and just her desperate way of reaching out to this baby she would never see fully grow up. Even if they beat the Reapers, she would only have so much time with her baby girl.
Memories and stories and holovids and pictures, that was the key. As everyone seemed to know, and so withstood the cameras. Even Liara seemed to know, in her quiet way, and made sure to sneak in things like Jane just standing around or putting together a model ship or singing in the shower, stuff that Shepard didn't know until she saw the extra ODS's. Their child would know Shepard, in some way, even if she didn't want to watch this particular tape of her own birth.
Not even when she finally made a real appearance, as Samara and Javik pressed onto Liara's pelvis to force her out. Yelling, clearly alarmed at this entire situation. This blue baby covered in basically slime. This baby that had utterly warped and distorted Liara and Jane's lives that had added another worry to both their lives, that turned them into Mom and Dad.
That had turned Liara into an incredibly young mother, and Shepard into a father, gender be damned.
From now on, everything was about this small blue child being cleaned up. She was no longer just Jane Shepard, the girl who in high school had been walked in on by her mother in the middle of taking a hit off a bong, the girl who'd signed up for the Alliance wanting to play a hero, the girl who couldn't fill out her taxes correctly, the woman who had good luck that could turn rotten very quickly and had great aim and had somehow fallen in love with a brilliant asari and created this creature.
She was a weeping mess, losing her mind. Could feel it shatter, hearing it as the baby filled her lungs to yell some more. Thane was dying in these walls, as were so many others, so many unnecessary deaths, but here was her child. Even covering her face did nothing. Broken in a way that nothing had been able to do so far.
Liara took it all in stride, regaining composure and sanity, holding the wrapped little bundle. This keening asari burrito.
The new center of the galaxy.
"She has your eyes, Jane."
While Shepard leaned against the wall, sobbing louder than their baby ever had.
Liara's head was beneath a pillow, and that was basically a signal for Code Red. She was not to be disturbed, under threat of biotics being used, and not in the fun way. Shepard didn't bother to even look towards her partner for longer than ten seconds. Hopeless.
After three tries, she managed to stand up. Her bandages glowed in the darkness, and limping, Jane managed to make it all the way through the cabin. The squirming, writhing thing was like something out of a horror movie no one would ever watch.
You could make out the heartbroken scrunched face lit by the aquarium.
Shepard looked down on her daughter.
"Do you have any idea what time it is? No, of course not. You have no concept of time. Or what you put us through. We had to fight Cerberus today. Finally defeated them. We deserve some rest.
"And I know you're not hungry. You were fed an hour ago. Diaper's fine.
"I can't wait until you're old enough to amuse yourself. We're going to send you to a good school, but in the mornings, the terminal's going to raise you. It'll be educational holovids, at least.
"Why are you crying? Why are you doing this to us?
"Even the crew members are avoiding me, so they don't have to babysit you."
She reached out, letting the baby take ahold of her finger as best she could. "We're so tired. And you are not helping. My aim is being effected, kid, and that's not a good thing."
There was nothing like trying to get a baby to go to sleep while going over reports and trying to talk to the dumbfounded diplomats. Or taking their child onto the Citadel, to be gawked at by refugees and soldiers. Pushing a stroller through rubble was more exercise than the PT in the mornings that Jane had long since given up on. Her time was better spent changing diapers and coddling her daughter on her knee as they watched Liara work, only to fall asleep in that chair and be awoken by her bondmate panicking over the baby having somehow reaching over and erasing a sizable portion of information.
Nights spent sitting in whatever uncomfortable position that would keep her awake, while simultaneously keeping their daughter awake. The feedings and throwing up. Changing diapers. Passing out in her cereal. Attempting to placate politicians when her daughter was in her arms, and the little blueberry trying to figure out how come she couldn't breast feed with this set of boobs in her face. Getting spit-up on her armor and stopping in the middle of a battle, crouched behind a wall or case, to check on the baby that was dealing with her first case of the flu.
"Look, I don't know what to do with you. In general. But also when you keep crying and there's nothing wrong with you. But I guess for now you can share the bed with your mother and me. Which stuffed animals? That one? And that one? Alright. All aboard."
Shepard gathered her daughter and a handful of stuffed beasts from various planets. Her daughter was wearing that adorable grey jumpsuit that Kelly had sent, with the N7 insignia on it, and was much more sharply dressed than her father at this moment.
The Commander couldn't see what she looked like, but knew it was not dignified.
"Just be careful, kid, because your mom's a sprawler. If she hits you, just hit her back. Oh, who am I kidding? You'll just scream and wake us both us again."
'How could you have a child right now,' seemed to be the question so many asked her now, and she could only shake a tired head, trying to focus. "Well, even in times of war, life goes on.
"Also, my girlfriend tricked me."
Sacrifice herself, to completely change human DNA and meld synthetic and organic life?
Destroy synthetic life, and lose EDI and the geth?
Take control of the Reapers, and then what, have to raise them along with their daughter?
All Jane Shepard knew was that she wanted to live, and watch her child at least reach the age of that boy whose form this non-child beside her had taken.
The two strangers came in right as the baby latched on, and began to feed, barging in and demanding to know who she was. Upsetting her daughter, who was already prone to fussiness, especially around strangers.
"I'm Liara T'soni, Shepard's bondmate. Who are you?"
The older woman looked ready to faint. "She wasn't lying?"
"Jane's really a Dad?"
"Who are you two?"
"Family," the tall man who need a good shave answered.
"Oh, oh, Jane." Hannah Shepard slowly lowered herself into a hospital chair to stare at her daughter.
These two whom Jane had mentioned only in passing, even refusing to put them on the list of potential 'godparents.' "I don't want them anywhere near our daughter."
"So, first Tali and Garrus, then Ashley/Vega/Cortex, then my father, then Miranda and Jack, then Wrex and Grunt, then Javik? Then your mother?"
"No. Her and my cousin can rot. He still hasn't replied to any of my messages."
"Jane, he might be hurt. He might be far from a terminal."
But Shepard was dealing with the new doses of hormones from the pregnancy. "I don't want to hear excuses. I know he's not dead, and so therefore, no excuse for this."
It was easier to just right them in toward the bottom of the will she'd written up, and pretend otherwise to get Jane's signature. Shepard's family. A low thrill went through her, staring at her as the baby seemed to glare at them through her tired gaze, trying to make them disappear so she could continue eating. Liara found a bottle, and was amused by the tiny hands immediately trying to grab at it.
They didn't look like terrible people. Though neither resembled Jane much, besides standing in the same military posture.
The male was rubbing his forehead, something she'd seen her Shepard do during her most exhausted moment. "We should have been here sooner."
"Jane would just be glad you're here. Will be, when she gets better."
"How long's it been?" He was moving closer to her, eyes unsettlingly blue. "Two weeks?"
"Nearly." This should have been the time where she said something comforting. They should all group around Shepard, and have words of support and hope. Say something about Jane, and how they would be there for her. This unmoving figure, covered with tubes and new wounds, whose bandages Liara would help change and whose fingers the baby would still latch onto despite their stillness. The combined power of their will would make those green eyes finally open to see all that she managed to accomplish.
But she couldn't stand to mutter those words, or hear them again. It was easier to hold their daughter, and feel those little hands reached for the buckles, both of them smiling at each. Sometimes, it hurt to look at their child, and see so much of Jane in her already, from the curiosity and grins to that nose and her pouting and that serious gaze.
"Can I hold her?" Hannah was trying to smile, for her sake. Or perhaps her own.
The cousin, John, was moving away from Jane to look at the baby as well. "What's her name?"
"We finally decided on Alannah."
When Aethyta showed up to check on her youngest daughter and newest grandchild, as well as several of the crew members that wanted to know the Commander's condition, Liara pulled out the recorder. To make sure to capture this family reunion for Shepard to watch when she woke up.
When she realized that she was still alive, that this headache was not another sign she was in hell, Shepard finally opened her eyes. A giant brown-eyed teddy bear with a gnawed ear grinned at her, and Jane discovered she was too weak to get up and run away.
To say she felt like she'd been beaten with a bag of hammers was an understatement. There were wires and tubes entering her from seemingly every angle, and even lifting these skinny things that had once been arms hurt. Shepard could only imagine how gruesome she looked. Her hair felt disturbingly neat, as it had never been before.
The room was covered with flowers and stuffed animals. Through the window that revealed the hallway, she saw something that stole more breathe away than any physical discomfort. First, this was probably Earth, since only humans celebrated that holiday, second, it was Thanksgiving, and the last time Jane had seen a calendar, it was about September back here on this blue planet. A month she'd been down for?
And someone was in this room, with her, snoring lightly. Away from her, tucked in the corner. Curled up on the couch there, a smallish figure in white and blue, covered with blankets and pillows. She knew that person, even if the outfit was a little different that her usual armor. Maybe it had gotten damaged in battle. Liara looked alright, although it was hard to see at this angle, but she was still breathing. Something eased in Shepard's chest, because if her bondmate was okay, that meant that nothing else could be too terrible.
She tried to sit up, and made a sound that might have been a whimper. Her throat felt like shit too. And her back was aflame just from moving.
Something stirred on the couch, and Shepard watching a tiny figure rise from that lump. A sleepy little thing, rubbing at her eyes, yawning, and Jane felt herself dying at that silhouette. Her voice, making a sound of confusion.
She knew that crest, the color of that skin, the wide eyes above that button nose and familiar freckles.
Somehow, her throat allowed her to say, "Hey there, jellybean."
The baby, although she wasn't a baby anymore hadn't been for maybe a few months or even longer, froze. "Mommy?"
"It's me, Alannah. Your Dad."
There was a lisp, and that was enough to bring tears to Jane's eyes. "You're supposed to be asleep."
All she could do was weakly rub at her eyes. Her too-thin fingers pressed into her face, feeling new scars. Hopefully they wouldn't scare her daughter. "I'm awake now, baby."
Alannah was practically cringing away. "I'm not a baby."
"No, you're not. Come here. I won't hurt you."
Amazing, to see her walking too. The last time Shepard had seen her, she couldn't even crawl really.
"You're my Dad."
She pressed her hand against her mouth, feeling her teeth against her palm, wanting the pain. "I know."
Somehow found enough strength in her arms to pick her daughter up and cradle the child to her chest. "You know, I waited so long to meet you. I think I really did die, and this is probably the afterlife.
That was how Liara found them in the morning. When she tried moving Alannah, gently, waking both people on the bed, her shriek brought in the rest of the Shepards who had stopped by for their usual holiday visit.
Calming the terrified child, Jane could only smirk at her shell-shocked family. "I told you she was real."
Liara had to peel her hands away from her face. "Shepard. Are you really awake?"
If she hadn't been out for so long, the Commander might have had a good line all prepped and ready to go. "Yep. Back to the world of the living. Nice to see you two finally show up."
John had to sit down, heavily, pale and still unshaven. Hannah followed his example, and she felt a shifting sense of disbelief at the grey on their hair, and the lines on their faces. "Jane. You're awake."
"And you guys scared the baby. Say, where's the camera, this nice family reunion should be recorded. All we're missing is your Father and those half-sisters of yours. Think we can call them, make this whole thing complete?"