Ambivalence I: The Corruption
One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. -Sigmund Freud
A green light flew by Hermione's ear and crashed into a statue of some ancient Malfoy Descendant. The statue crumbled as it hit the cold, dark hardwood floors. Hermione gasped loudly and turned her attention to her attacker, Bellatrix Lestrange. Bellatrix stood her hair as voluminous and crazed as ever, casually twirling her wand around her fingers and tapping her slender, pale fingers against her hips. Hermione's hair was wild and unrestrained. Her brown eyes flashed with a mixture of fear and exhaustion.
"Rule number 1, darling, never get distracted." Bellatrix cooed. Hermione was breathing heavily as she watched the demented Death Eater educate her on the proper way to duel with success. Hermione didn't know what she had gotten herself into, she had always been good at dueling, however facing off with the Dark Lord's best duelist was more overwhelming than Hermione realized. In fact, this entire situation was more overwhelming than Hermione could ever imagine. It was apparently a real honor to have Bellatrix as her mentor, however as a muggleborn Hermione was severely less convinced.
"I'm sorry," Hermione breathed heavily. She took a deep breath and readjusted herself ready for another round. Bellatrix cackled at her actions and began to move toward Hermione, her wand still twirling around her fingers in a way that left Hermione extremely uneasy.
"I don't like you," Bellatrix stated bluntly as she placed her long nail under Hermione's chin and lifted her gaze up to hers. "However, if I don't train you, you could get my family killed. You see, if my husband or any of the Malfoys die, you die." Bellatrix dropped her hand and turned away. "I suppose if you got Lucius killed I wouldn't be sad." Bellatrix chortled, before haphazardly tossing a curse over her shoulder.
"Protego!" Hermione shouted quickly as the anxiety threatened to overwhelm her. Her body grew tight as her brain seemed to falter. Bellatrix, on the other hand, continued to walk away and shot another curse before Hermione had much time to react. Hermione jumped out of the way quickly.
"Filipendo!" Hermione shouted back, but Bellatrix blocked it with ease.
Bellatrix turned around to face the exhausted mudblood with a frown on her unnaturally composed features. "Brightest witch of her age," Bellatrix commented disappointedly. "What a shame. Immoblulus!"
Hermione's features tensed as she watched Bellatrix examine her as if she an animal on display at the zoo. Bellatrix didn't say anything else, just continued to walk out shaking her head, as if dueling with Hermione had been the greatest disappointment of her life.
Once out of the room, Bellatrix's spell broke and Hermione collapsed onto the ground shaking as the humiliation, rage, and disappointment in herself began to pour out. However, despite Hermione's feelings, she would not let the Malfoys see that she had been beaten. She would not give anyone any reason to look down upon on her. She was more than just her blood.
Once recovered from her defeat, Hermione swiftly stood up and exited the drawing room and returned back to her the solitude of her room. She collapsed against the door and drew her knees close to her chest. She was Hermione Granger, how could she allow herself to be in this situation.
Hermione had been home for three days, she excitedly told her parents about the OWLS and about her studies, of course ignoring the other important things that had happened over the year, Dumbledore's Army and the attack on the ministry. Her parents had smiled and eagerly listened to everything Hermione had to say before they filled their daughter in on the exciting things that had happened at their dentist practice over the year. The small family of three sat around their table, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. Hermione was happy for the distraction; the war was so real and so present every day of Hermione's life that this moment was a perfect opportunity to forget even for a little bit. She was going to spend the first month and a half at her parents' house at her insistence, as the Order believed it would be best for Hermione to stay at the Burrow for her protection, but Hermione couldn't bear to be away from her parents any longer.
She should've listened to the Order. At least then she wouldn't be in the situation she currently was.
It all happened so fast. Hermione and her mother were both seated in the living room, reading a book. Hermione's dad was working on paperwork on the kitchen table and watching his girls with a gleeful pride and love. The front door burst open and the Grangers stood up suddenly as they gazed upon the intruder. Hermione stared at the mask that she knew belonged to the Death Eaters. The pale, snake-like mask watched her before the attacking Death Eaters raised their wands and shot the Grangers down before Hermione even had time to react. Hermione stood frozen, her wand was in her trunk upstairs in her room.
"Come with us, mudblood," One of the death eaters demanded and grabbed her harshly. Hermione tried to resist but as she turned around to run from the Death Eaters she was faced with the lifeless body of her mother and father. The next moments were a blur in Hermione's memory. They took her and placed her before the Dark Lord himself who seemed quite pleased at the muggleborn Gryffindor lying in front of him.
Over the next few weeks, Hermione was tortured and pushed. Hermione's brain was trying to fight through her grief and was unable to stand against the Death Eaters. Hermione Granger was simply a shell of the Hermione Granger who just a month ago ran into battle blindly following Harry Potter.
"Miss Granger," Voldemort cooed one day, 16 days, 13 hours and 24 minutes since her arrival in the death trap. "I want you to be a member of my prestigious organization. I want to mark you this next week alongside Draco Malfoy. You know Draco Malfoy, don't you?"
Hermione had been thrown onto the ground in front of the dark wizard. She sat on her hands and knees, looking up at the dark wizard who had spent the past 16 years trying to kill her best friend. Unable to come up with a snarky remark or even a coherent plan of escape, Hermione did the only thing she could think of. She spat at Voldemort. Internally she smirked, imagining what Harry and Ron would say once they discovered that she had spit at the Dark Lord.
Voldemort was not upset as Hermione figured he would be. Instead, the dark wizard merely chuckled and walked over the young witch, grabbing the back of her hair and pulling her up roughly to look at him. "I find it amusing that you believe you have a choice, Ms. Granger."
Fear flashed through Hermione's eyes as she stared into the dark orbs belonging to the man before her.
"Either you join me willingly, or I'll imperious you," Voldemort responded calmly as he let go her head. "Your choice."
Hermione was grabbed from behind and taken to her 'room'. Once alone, the young witch screamed and began punching and destroying as many things as she could with her bare hands before she collapsed in hysterical tears. If only, she had listened to the Order and stayed at the Burrow all summer.
Hermione willingly agreed to be marked that next week. She hardly slept as she debated all the practical solutions and she finally decided that she was going to be marked no matter what, so better to do it in her own right mind. Hermione would remember the soul-wrenching pain for the rest of her life. The ache she felt as she gave up her freedom to the one man in the entire world that hated her more than anything.
The first day, after the marking, Hermione tried to kill herself. Each time, however, her arm burned with extreme pain as Voldemort warned her not to, and when she didn't stop a house elf would always be there to knock her out and take her back to the prison cell room she was forced to stay in. Hermione was trapped, trapped to be trained by the crazed Bellatrix Lestrange, to have etiquette lessons from the Malfoy matron and trapped into involuntary servitude to the dark wizard who tried to kill her best friends multiple times.
She tried to resist her position for weeks, however, Hermione grew exhausted as she tried to ignore the torture both physical and emotional that her resistance was putting her through. So, she decided that the best thing to do was to concede. She would fool them into thinking she was on board. She would gain their trust, she would work her way through the ranks and she would destroy them from the inside.
Every day was a constant routine, wake up, eat Breakfast given to her by the house elf designated to help her, train with Bellatrix, eat lunch given to her by said house elf, study with Narcissa Malfoy on what it means to be a pureblood, eat dinner with the other occupants of the manor if Narcissa deemed her work in their lessons would not embarrass the Malfoys, and then finally every night, long after the darkness would creep into the corners of the Manor and fill the already chilling house with a heightened sense of dread and despair, Hermione would teach herself occlumency and wandless magic.
Hermione would show them that she more than her blood. She would be the one to bring their downfall. She would show them what a terrible mistake they had made thinking that they could use Hermione Granger as a pawn.