Shrek It Ralph: Revenge Against The Evil Garfield Furries

By: KiMonika

Ralph and Shrek sat at Tappers, the bar where all the video game characters drank at.

"Dude, I dunno what to do. I gotta learn about this internet thing for my new movie. 'Ralph Breaks the Internet'. I literally know nothing about it" Ralph said.

"You know, Shrek 5 is going to break the internet when it comes out," Shrek said, calmly chugging down some vodka.

"Nah, mine will literally break the internet. It's in the title. Also, they didn't tell you? Luis Fonsi is making Despacito 2 just for our sequel," Ralph responded.

"But Smash Mouth is collaborating with Psy to make another All Star. Besides, you're another Emoji Movie waiting to happen," Shrek laughed.

"No way! We have some fat bunny that eats tons of pancakes"

"But Shrek is love. Shrek is li-"

A closed fist slammed on the table. "I will stop Despacito from coming out if you idiots don't be quiet! I don't feel so good." The infinity stones glistened on his gauntlet. He stood up and started to leave. The arcade would open again soon. They all had to get back to their games.

"Dude, he's so annoying. Doesn't he like delete people or something with a snap of his fingers?" Ralph asked.

"Oh, no that's a different person. In a different game. She deletes people I think or something. One of those advanced characters," Shrek answered. Ralph still looked confused.

"Are you talking about that person who writes those Ctrl+Alt+Del comics? I can't remember that one thing...is it 'Loss'? "

"You've still got a lot to learn about the internet, kiddo. Lemme show you around this thing we call the internet." Shrek whipped out his computer.

"Where'd you get that?"

"I dunno, it was just in my pocket,"

"A computer?"

"There's also a concrete slab if you want it. But that's not the point. Shush." Shrek whipped out his computer and pressed the p,o, and r buttons . "Nevermind, let's start somewhere else. You don't know about sports. Was gonna show you this dude named Porzingis. Great player. How about Youtube?" Shrek had to use his pinky to type, since his massive fingers were the only ones who wouldn't hit two buttons at once.

"What is this video? '100 WIN *SECRET* UNLOCK in Fortnite: Battle Royale? (KILL RECORD)?' Who's Ali-A?" Ralph examined the screen.

"Oh, he's just god at Fortnite. Like, the best. I watch all his videos but this website is all about quality videos and vine compilations. Remember, vine compilations are not quality videos. There are two sides of Youtube. We could go to Facebook, but I hate lizards. Everytime I open up Facebook I have to go 'Oh hi Mark' " Ralph looked confused but let it go.

"I think I can handle this internet thing. I was told about this thing called reddit and 4chan, but they said not to go there since I was a 'normie'. The thing I'm not looking forward to is dealing with this little girl I have to do the movie with," Ralph looked exasperated.

"You think that's bad? My wife's an ogre, my partner is a donkey and a Puss in Boots. And these people keep coming into my swamp,"

"What if we like, combined together. Like a crossover. That's what everybody does these days when they run out of ideas and aren't creative. It's like throwing 20 memes in a story that you are assigned to write for an end of the year school project. We could fight against the endless bad guys together you know? Two giant dudes, who wouldn't love that?" Ralph exclaimed. He seemed so enthusiastic.

Shrek did not.

"I mean, a lot of people would like that I guess. But you'd be surprised what these people would draw and write of us together," Shrek shook his head.

"Woah, do you mean like, they'd draw us fighting people like Farquad?"

"No, I meant they'd probably draw us in other ways. Like they'd draw us-,"

"WHERE'S MY LASAGNA, JOHN?" A fat orange cat jumped towards Shrek

As he quickly sat up in his bed, he accidentally hit his head on the headboard.

"It was Just a dream? It seemed so vivid and spooky. And a good idea. What if I could make dreams become real. What if-" Stan Lee quickly rose out of his bed and started jotting down notes.

"Hello? Yes? Danny? Could you help me out with this crossover I'm doing? I'm sure everybody would love another movie with Danny DeVito in it. You'd love to? Great! I'm going to need you to...," Stan Lee rambled off.

Coming to Theaters in April 2020:

"Shrek It Ralph: Revenge Against The Garfield Furries"