*A Hildi and Duo fic, I wrote it a year ago and decided to fix it up a bit and post it here, hope yall like it, R&R plz! *
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me, nor do Duo or Hildi, it belongs to Bandaid and all those fancy companies, not to me. By a fan, for fans, used only for the purpose of entertainment. This story makes NO money!
~~~No More Tears~~~
He looked in the mirror in front of him, his eyes filling up with tears again. How many times did he cry after her death, three years ago, yet he never forgot her. She was on his mind all the time, yet no one knew. He hid himself from the world, disguising himself with those charming smiles, those small jokes, anything that will hide his feelings. He was helpless, in the dark. When she was still alive, he never felt alone. He had Heero, Relena, Trowa and Quatre and then Wufei, they were there for him always, but he missed her. The one he loved, the one who always used to put a smile on his face.
He felt the hot tears on his face, how could she have been such a fool. After she fought with him she got drunk that night, drove home, got in a crash. He remembered that terrible day, when he sat by her side in the hospital, for hours he sat his hands folded in his lap. Then it came, her heartbeat stopped, she was dead. She wasn't there anymore, her beautiful smile disappeared. He remembered Heero holding him in his arms, Relena patting his back. Duo cried and screamed, he hit Heero, yet the Silent Soldier stood holding Duo, his strength and his words were still there, clear. "She is gone Duo, you can't bring her back, she is gone" he said that over and over again.
Then he remembered her funeral, Relena said, "If you need anything Heero and I will always be there." Then they all left, and he stood there under the gray sky, under the rain pounding against his body. His hot tears washed away by the rain, he stood there, pain in his heart, through his brain and body. Then he stood in front of the mirror again, in it he saw her beautiful face, and then he saw blood, the pain, then the tears. He never got to say good-bye, he lost her when he needed her most, when he needed her love.
Then he thought about why she died, it was his fault. If he had never yelled at her, if he had never called her a bitch she wouldn't have gotten mad, drunk, never would have died. He was responsible for her death, he was her assassin, her murderer. He murdered her, he killed her, he destroyed her, he vanished her from the face of the world... It was him; he killed her, him, him, him!!! It screamed in his mind, he grabbed his head screaming, crying, he murdered her, he murdered her. His heartbeat raced, each pound killed him more and more. His mind went out of control, the words 'he killed her' screaming inside, playing with him, destroying him every time more and more. He never told her he loved her, he yelled at her, killing her without even knowing it. He murdered her!
He fell onto the floor, his breath fast, his braid messed up. The cold, ceramic floor pulling him down. He whimpered still clutching his head. The nails dug into the skin until it bled, bled terribly, he didn't care. He knew this was what god wanted for him, for revenge. This was a way of retaliating for him, hurting himself, remembering how he killed her, not saying goodbye, never knowing he would cry. He didn't tell her he loved her, he still cared, he never got a last kiss. His hands were already blood stained, now there was another stain, a stain he would never forget, the one he never wanted to make... all his fault, his fault, his fault... his murder, his murder, his murder... he killed her, he was the one...
*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
*
Duo's eyes shot open; his usual blue, violet color was black, dark black with fear. His body shook with sobs, the white sheets that covered his naked body were soaked with sweat and tears, and blood that only he saw. His long braid messed up he remembered last night, how he yelled at her, how he called her a bitch, he never meant it, he never meant it at all, now she was dead. His tanned face was snow white, his well built up body, now nude and wet shook with the rhythm of his sobs. His eyes traveled across the room, settled at the phone. Getting up he wrapped the sheets around his body and ran to the phone. The small table that stood a meter away looked far, far away, so far it seemed to him that he would never get there. The wooden table was cracking, it seemed like it was falling slowly to the floor. Duo blinked, everything seemed normal again, yet his vision still blurry, his fast breath with the rhythm of his heart beat. His body still shook as his right hand; trembling made it's way to pick up the phone. His finger, quivering, dialed her work number. The one he had memorized by heart, the one that never made it's way out of his head.
"Good Morning" the female voice on the other line said
"Is Hildi there?" he sounded like a five-year-old child
He waited, waited for the woman to tell him that she was dead, she would never come back, that he killed her, that it was his fault, all his fault. She would call the police, tell them, they would burst in here, screaming, he would be nude and crying, like a small child, all like a small child. He listened, for her reply, but it came simple and sympathetic:
"I am sorry sir, it's her day off. If you could tell me your name and address, I would be able to give you her..."
He didn't listen, he couldn't, and he hung up. He didn't care, he needed to know if she was alive or dead, if she was all right, if she would find it in her heart to forgive him. He dialed her home number, the phone rung once, twice, three times... still no answer, Duo began to whimper. Then the answering machine went on:
"Hey, you've reached Hildi, I am not home right now, leave a message, I'll call you back when I come home."
The beep was long, Duo was impatient. The sound rang in his ears, his brain rattled in his head, about to pop out. Then he spoke:
"Hildi, if you can hear me now I want you to know that I love you, and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you..."
He choked up those words, gulping down sobs, wiping away the tears with his left hand he continued his voice shaking:
"I shouldn't have said those things to you yesterday night, and I didn't mean the things I told you...."
"Hildi, please forgive me... if you are there... please just tell me if you are all right, I need to know..."
He couldn't help it, he broke out in tears, his tears spilling, his heart breaking...
Then he heard a sound... a soft voice followed...
"Duo?" she spoke "You are crying"
"Hildi? Oh Hildi..." his sobs turned to wails
"What's wrong Duo?"
"I am sorry, I am so sorry about last night..."
"You said you hate me"
"I didn't mean it, I swear with all my heart I didn't mean it" he sobbed harder
"I am a bitch, right, Duo?" her voice angry
"No, no, no..." he wailed into the phone
"Don't cry Duo, I don't like to hear you cry, it hurts me..."
"Oh, how much I love you babe, I love you more then the world, more then anything." he heard her loose control over herself on the other line
"Oh Duo..." she wailed bursting into tears
"I love you baby, I love you so much..." he tried to calm himself
"I love you too..." she whispered through tears
"Duo?" her voice shaking
"I am sorry, just promise me one thing… ok?," he said calming down
"What is it Duo?"
"No more fights, no more tears, I want us to be happy. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost you…"
"I understand Duo…" she sighed, wiping away her tears.
They were both silent for a moment, both lost deep in thought.
"Duo? Ya still there?" she asked
"Yea"
"You want to catch some breakfast? Meet me at Dairy Queen's in thirty minutes. All right?"
"Sure thing, love ya"
"Goodbye Duo" he heard her calm breathing, a long tone followed.
Finis
*You like it? No? REVIEW PLEASE! Aigatou! *
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me, nor do Duo or Hildi, it belongs to Bandaid and all those fancy companies, not to me. By a fan, for fans, used only for the purpose of entertainment. This story makes NO money!
~~~No More Tears~~~
He looked in the mirror in front of him, his eyes filling up with tears again. How many times did he cry after her death, three years ago, yet he never forgot her. She was on his mind all the time, yet no one knew. He hid himself from the world, disguising himself with those charming smiles, those small jokes, anything that will hide his feelings. He was helpless, in the dark. When she was still alive, he never felt alone. He had Heero, Relena, Trowa and Quatre and then Wufei, they were there for him always, but he missed her. The one he loved, the one who always used to put a smile on his face.
He felt the hot tears on his face, how could she have been such a fool. After she fought with him she got drunk that night, drove home, got in a crash. He remembered that terrible day, when he sat by her side in the hospital, for hours he sat his hands folded in his lap. Then it came, her heartbeat stopped, she was dead. She wasn't there anymore, her beautiful smile disappeared. He remembered Heero holding him in his arms, Relena patting his back. Duo cried and screamed, he hit Heero, yet the Silent Soldier stood holding Duo, his strength and his words were still there, clear. "She is gone Duo, you can't bring her back, she is gone" he said that over and over again.
Then he remembered her funeral, Relena said, "If you need anything Heero and I will always be there." Then they all left, and he stood there under the gray sky, under the rain pounding against his body. His hot tears washed away by the rain, he stood there, pain in his heart, through his brain and body. Then he stood in front of the mirror again, in it he saw her beautiful face, and then he saw blood, the pain, then the tears. He never got to say good-bye, he lost her when he needed her most, when he needed her love.
Then he thought about why she died, it was his fault. If he had never yelled at her, if he had never called her a bitch she wouldn't have gotten mad, drunk, never would have died. He was responsible for her death, he was her assassin, her murderer. He murdered her, he killed her, he destroyed her, he vanished her from the face of the world... It was him; he killed her, him, him, him!!! It screamed in his mind, he grabbed his head screaming, crying, he murdered her, he murdered her. His heartbeat raced, each pound killed him more and more. His mind went out of control, the words 'he killed her' screaming inside, playing with him, destroying him every time more and more. He never told her he loved her, he yelled at her, killing her without even knowing it. He murdered her!
He fell onto the floor, his breath fast, his braid messed up. The cold, ceramic floor pulling him down. He whimpered still clutching his head. The nails dug into the skin until it bled, bled terribly, he didn't care. He knew this was what god wanted for him, for revenge. This was a way of retaliating for him, hurting himself, remembering how he killed her, not saying goodbye, never knowing he would cry. He didn't tell her he loved her, he still cared, he never got a last kiss. His hands were already blood stained, now there was another stain, a stain he would never forget, the one he never wanted to make... all his fault, his fault, his fault... his murder, his murder, his murder... he killed her, he was the one...
*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
*
Duo's eyes shot open; his usual blue, violet color was black, dark black with fear. His body shook with sobs, the white sheets that covered his naked body were soaked with sweat and tears, and blood that only he saw. His long braid messed up he remembered last night, how he yelled at her, how he called her a bitch, he never meant it, he never meant it at all, now she was dead. His tanned face was snow white, his well built up body, now nude and wet shook with the rhythm of his sobs. His eyes traveled across the room, settled at the phone. Getting up he wrapped the sheets around his body and ran to the phone. The small table that stood a meter away looked far, far away, so far it seemed to him that he would never get there. The wooden table was cracking, it seemed like it was falling slowly to the floor. Duo blinked, everything seemed normal again, yet his vision still blurry, his fast breath with the rhythm of his heart beat. His body still shook as his right hand; trembling made it's way to pick up the phone. His finger, quivering, dialed her work number. The one he had memorized by heart, the one that never made it's way out of his head.
"Good Morning" the female voice on the other line said
"Is Hildi there?" he sounded like a five-year-old child
He waited, waited for the woman to tell him that she was dead, she would never come back, that he killed her, that it was his fault, all his fault. She would call the police, tell them, they would burst in here, screaming, he would be nude and crying, like a small child, all like a small child. He listened, for her reply, but it came simple and sympathetic:
"I am sorry sir, it's her day off. If you could tell me your name and address, I would be able to give you her..."
He didn't listen, he couldn't, and he hung up. He didn't care, he needed to know if she was alive or dead, if she was all right, if she would find it in her heart to forgive him. He dialed her home number, the phone rung once, twice, three times... still no answer, Duo began to whimper. Then the answering machine went on:
"Hey, you've reached Hildi, I am not home right now, leave a message, I'll call you back when I come home."
The beep was long, Duo was impatient. The sound rang in his ears, his brain rattled in his head, about to pop out. Then he spoke:
"Hildi, if you can hear me now I want you to know that I love you, and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you..."
He choked up those words, gulping down sobs, wiping away the tears with his left hand he continued his voice shaking:
"I shouldn't have said those things to you yesterday night, and I didn't mean the things I told you...."
"Hildi, please forgive me... if you are there... please just tell me if you are all right, I need to know..."
He couldn't help it, he broke out in tears, his tears spilling, his heart breaking...
Then he heard a sound... a soft voice followed...
"Duo?" she spoke "You are crying"
"Hildi? Oh Hildi..." his sobs turned to wails
"What's wrong Duo?"
"I am sorry, I am so sorry about last night..."
"You said you hate me"
"I didn't mean it, I swear with all my heart I didn't mean it" he sobbed harder
"I am a bitch, right, Duo?" her voice angry
"No, no, no..." he wailed into the phone
"Don't cry Duo, I don't like to hear you cry, it hurts me..."
"Oh, how much I love you babe, I love you more then the world, more then anything." he heard her loose control over herself on the other line
"Oh Duo..." she wailed bursting into tears
"I love you baby, I love you so much..." he tried to calm himself
"I love you too..." she whispered through tears
"Duo?" her voice shaking
"I am sorry, just promise me one thing… ok?," he said calming down
"What is it Duo?"
"No more fights, no more tears, I want us to be happy. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost you…"
"I understand Duo…" she sighed, wiping away her tears.
They were both silent for a moment, both lost deep in thought.
"Duo? Ya still there?" she asked
"Yea"
"You want to catch some breakfast? Meet me at Dairy Queen's in thirty minutes. All right?"
"Sure thing, love ya"
"Goodbye Duo" he heard her calm breathing, a long tone followed.
Finis
*You like it? No? REVIEW PLEASE! Aigatou! *