Authors note:
This is my first fanfic, so I hope it's not too bad.

Warning though, there's lots of Stefan/Elena. And some content is still subject to change.

But anyways, Enjoy!

Friday,
7:32 pm

Dear Diary,

Damon came over again. But, of course it was only because of Katherine. They're over there probably making out or whatever else they do when no one's around, while I'm here crying again, writing in my diary. How pitiful. It's not fair, it really isn't. I have to be stuck seeing his face over and over again, knowing that I can't have him. Knowing that I probably never will, but I still can't stop myself. It just hurts too darn much. I feel like a masochist. So cliché, but it's like that whole so close, yet so far shenanigan. But he loves her or at least likes her very much by the way he follows her around like some lost puppy, and I can't do anything about it. Heck, who doesn't love her? She's perfect. She's funny, beautiful, and she always wears the best clothes. Every guy wants to be with a girl like that. Why can't I be like that? Ugh, whatever. There's no use in feeling sorry for myself. I think I'm starting to live with it anyway. I know I'll never have him. He's twenty one for goodness sakes! He's already an adult, and I've barely ended middle school. I feel like a backwards pedo. Is there even a word for that? Another thing that hurts is how stupid Katherine keeps talking about him. And I'd be fine if she told me that she really likes him or something, but she just says how much she doesn't care. And how she has so much fun with Mason Lockwood when he's not there. How can he not see? If I was with him, I'll be the nicest girlfriend ever and I'll never cheat on him like Katherine does so many times. But I'm not his girlfriend. It's so ridiculous for me to even hope, yet I can't help myself from thinking about our conversations and I can't push myself to get over all the times that I've said the wrong things. I wish I was older, maybe then I'll have a chance. Or not, if Katherine's still in the picture. Of course he'll pick her. She's prettier, better, . Anyways, I think Uncle John just got home, so I have to go. Ugh, I'm just gonna pretend like I don't care. Like I always do.

Love,
Elena.

It had been years since she took the time to actually read through the entries that she had so furiously written on once-upon-a-time. It just seems so long ago now, even though it's only been what- six years? Elena continued to read on amusedly, letting the light from the attic window illuminate the pages of her diary as she sat cross legged in front of the open dusty box that held the remaining belongings that survived the fire. Every few minutes she let out a chuckle that reverberated off of the walls, making the room seem somehow more silent as the fond memory ended. She recalled that particular scene quite clearly, and her emotions during the time even clearer. It had been a happier time back then, Elena finally resolved to thinking. The words of a frustrated twelve year old may have painted a different picture but in truth, Elena would've probably given anything to go back and return to such blissful ignorance. It was a time when the only thing that filled Elena's mind where the multiple daydreams of the dashing Damon finally forgetting Katherine and realizing that she was the one girl for him. Elena giggled again as she read another entry.

Wednesday,
3:41 a.m.

Dear Diary,

You won't believe what I just heard. Okay, I didn't really mean to eavesdrop but I couldn't help it! They were so loud, I'm surprised Uncle John didn't wake up. Well, anyways since my room is next to Katherine's I woke up hearing voices coming from her room. I tried to ignore it at first, and I was really sleepy so it wasn't really hard. But then I heard his voice. He was really mad and I couldn't really hear well, but there was another guy voice too. I heard her call him Mason. They were fighting, I just know it. I know Mason comes to visit her at night sometimes, and I'm guessing Damon found out? Ah! Busted! I don't know why I'm so excited. It's such a scandal. I feel bad about being happy, but at the same time it's good that Damon knows now. He deserves better than someone who doesn't care about him.

Love, Elena.

Sunday,
4:55 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Damon hasn't come at all lately. I'm scared. What if he leaves forever and I never got to talk to him? Or at least see him. I want to ask Katherine how she and Damon are, but I'm scared that she'll somehow find out I was eavesdropping. They couldn't have broken up, though. I mean they've been together for two years, you can't just break up like that. Can you? But, I don't even know. Why can't I just like guys my own age? Instead of wanting those who I can never get. You know? I don't even care about romantic stuff anymore. I just want to talk to him again like we always do whenever he's over and Katherine isn't home yet. I miss our drawing battles and when he helps me do backflips, and all the conversations. It feels like I'll never really be able to talk like that with anyone again. It's always so much fun when he's around.

Love,
Elena.

Elena was surprised to find an unexpected tear running down her cheek, signaling the return to reality. She wiped it away quickly, erasing the evidence of nostalgia on her face as she closed the relic of her childhood with a slam. She never did find out what happened to her childhood crush. But, there was no use in dwelling in the past anymore; it was time to face the future.

As if on cue, a voice called out from downstairs. "Elena! Are you almost done? I'm going to be late."

"Y-yeah! Hold on, let me just finish this real quick." After taking out the shirt she initially came for, tucked beneath the fairy lamp from the box, she rushed downstairs.

"I might not be home 'til later, okay? Coach Ric's been really pushing the team."

Elena gave him a small smile. "It's fine. I'm just going to be here. All alone in your big ol' house, sitting in your room, waiting for you to come back, just waiting, and waiting." Stefan laughed and gave her a peck on the lips. "…and waiting."

"I miss you already," he replied and with the shut of the front door, Elena was left alone with silence as her companion once again. She sighed and walked into the room she shared with her boyfriend of three months. It was as if a volcano of clothes exploded in the room, and Elena almost felt guilty. She was surprised Stefan still hasn't kicked her out, with all her mess contaminating his room. It had taken her a while to settle in. Jeremy had just been sent to rehab and Aunt Isobel practically growled at Elena to 'Get the fuck away from me!' when she attempted to apologize for him. Uncle John, of course rushed to say sorry on Isobel's behalf and had begged her to return to them, but it was too late. The painful words of her Aunt had cut deep, and Elena really didn't feel like she can deal with all the negativity that is sure to spew her way if she actually returned. Thank goodness, Stefan was there to save her like he always does. He was only too happy to help by opening up his home to her. It had been a huge internal debate for Elena even asking him for such a thing, considering they've only been together for such a short amount of time. But she was desperate. Elena shook her head to clear out the thoughts. No, she can't be sad now. It's going to be Stefan's birthday in a week and he at least deserves to see her back to her cheerful self, even if it is just an illusion.

Elena spent most of the day in a similar fashion; clearing up some of her mess, while simultaneously trying to figure out the perfect birthday gift for the upcoming twenty year old. In fact, she had been so immersed within herself that it had caught her by sheer surprise when she felt Stefan's arms wrap around her waist from behind.

"I guess you weren't lying," he whispered in her ear. Elena turned around and gave him a chaste kiss.

"And when have I ever lied?"

"Oh, you know...that one time…"

"Uh, huh yeah. Keep talking." Elena laughed as she untangled herself from Stefan's embrace and returned to folding the clothes. "So how was practice?"

"It was hard, as usual. But it was alright, 'cause my brother called me." Stefan said as he sat on the bed next to Elena.

"The one from New York right?"

"Yup, Damon."

Elena internally laughed at the irony. She had just been reminiscing about her own childhood, Damon. "You have a brother named Damon? How weird."

"Why is that?"

"Nothing, really."

"Tell me," Stefan insisted, whilst jutting out his lower lip trying to make a baby face and failing ultimately.

"I will, as soon as you stop doing that." Elena laughed, throwing a pillow at his face. "Well, if you must know. I had a crush on a guy named Damon like years ago in 7th grade."

"Yeah? That's interesting, because I had a crush on this cute girl named Elena in the 7th grade."

"Pshh, you didn't even know me back then."

"Who said it was you?" Stefan grinned cheekily.

"Oh! Oh! My bad, sorry. I forgot your fetish for girls named Elena."

"Damn, right." Stefan said as he leaned in for another kiss. Elena dropped the shirt she was holding in order to turn her body to face him fully, as he continued to ravish her with his mouth. She didn't even feel Stefan's hand creeping underneath her shirt until she felt his rough fingers come in contact with the delicate skin of her breast. She pulled away.

"Not-not right now." Elena said breathily, her face flushed .

"What? Why not?" Stefan asked, reaching out for her again as she continued to deny him.

"I really, really have to fix this. Or else, I'm never going to."

"Clothes can wait." Stefan sat, obviously itching to touch her again by the way his hands moved up and down her side.

"No, no it can't." Elena set up her resolve to deny him tonight, in order to make his birthday night even sweeter.

Stefan moved in to nuzzle her neck. "Oh, come on… pretty please?"

"Sorry, Stefan," Elena laughed. "I need to get this done."

Stefan huffed and moved away from her as he shuffled to the bathroom with a resolute, "Fine."

Elena laughed to herself; he acted like such a big kid sometimes.

It took an unnecessary amount of time for Stefan to come out of his shower and join Elena at the dinner table. "So what about your brother again?"

"Oh, yeah he says he's coming here tomorrow in time for my birthday."

"Tomorrow? But we haven't even fixed a room for him, yet."

"Don't worry, he stays in that big room down the hall. It was his old one."

"Oh, okay. Good, less work for me." Elena replied, cutting a piece of her steak. "So what's he like?"

"I don't know. He's a lot of things. You'll find out when you meet him."

Elena nodded. "You think he'll like me?" she hesitantly added, whilst looking down on her plate.
Despite all of Stefan's reassurances that her stay with him had not caused him much trouble, Elena still felt like she was imposing.

Stefan smiled, "Oh, I think he'll love you." As Stefan proceeded to talk about his day, Elena couldn't help her thoughts as it continued to revolve around Damon. Maybe it was just her excitement at finally meeting a member of Stefan's family.