Star Wolf Adventures : Galaxy War

(Version 1.2)

This is a fanfiction that I wrote for my own website. I have edited and revised it, removing some of the inside jokes that others wouldn't get (though many of the names will be unusual to you), and revamped the beginning somewhat. The (almost) finished product of the original is nearly 350 pages long (on my computer), so sit back and get ready for a long journey. And don't let the beginning fool you... This gets serious pretty quickly. One more note... If you're confused about the timeline for this, just know that it happened sometime after Assault, but in an alternate universe, so some things that have happened in the games up to that point haven't happened here... It'll make sense later, trust me. Enjoy! - Jonny Wolfe (WolfManJon)

Chapter One : The interviews begin...

"Captain's log... I am interviewing possible recruits for the team today, to replace the morons I currently employ. Leon, Andrew, Panther... They have a surprise in store. I just hope the newbies are good pilots, and can take orders."

Wolf O'Donnell tossed his recorder down on the desk in front of him, and leaned back in his chair. They would arrive soon... The hopefuls. Wolf wanted to be hopeful himself, but with the losing streak he was carrying, it was hard to be optimistic.

"Hey! There're ships landing out there!" a whiny voice called from down the hall. "Are we under attack? UNCLE ANDROSS!"

"Shut your trap, Andrew, you blithering idiot!" Wolf yelled back, as he exited his quarters. "I was expecting company."

As Wolf entered the computer room, he saw Andrew leaning forward, eyes glued to the monitor in front of him.

"Who are they?" he asked, turning his ape-ish face toward his captain.

"None of your business, you wimp," Wolf snarled, grabbing the back of Andrew's chair, and turning it over with him in it. "Now get out of here... Go to your quarters, and stay out of my fur today."

"I'll tell Uncle Andross about this!" Andrew exclaimed, getting to his feet. But he hurried out of the room anyway, noting the 'don't argue with me' look in Wolf's eyes.

"Sniveling little creep," Wolf muttered. Scanning the monitor, Wolf saw that some of the possible recruits were making their way up to the main doors, some shaking hands, some ignoring the rest. Wolf hoped he could quickly find the ones he needed, so he could cancel the rest of the meetings.

Five minutes later Wolf was seated at a table, with one of the recruits sitting opposite him.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Mafefe La-... *cough*... Larone, sir," the young human said, seeming to choke up for a moment, but quickly recovering. "I can't wait to be a member of your team!"

"Cool your thrusters, pup, we're just getting started," Wolf said, narrowing his eyes. "Now... What's your experience level being a merecenary?"

"I'm a noob."

"...A noob?"

"Yes."

"Right... Um... What's your experience level as a pilot, then?"

"Noob."

Wolf frowned.

"Is there anything you can do that you're not a noob at?" he asked.

"Yes!"

"What?"

"Acting like a noob," Mafefe replied proudly.

Wolf had a deadly glint in his eyes as he yelled, "GET OUT!"

"Am I in?"

"NO! GET OUT, YOU STUPID LITTLE NOOB, BEFORE I BLAST YOU TO BITS!"

"No need to go all caps at me, I'm going," Mafefe said, seeming affronted. He then quickly fled the interview room, leaving Wolf to take some steadying breaths to calm himself.

"Next!"

Wolf shook his head. He knew he needed to keep his temper in check, but his idea to call in new recruits was already seeming to be a rather... well... lousy idea. Still, there were more waiting outside the doors... Who'd be entering any moment.

A knock sounded against the steel door. Wolf told them to come in, and the door opened, revealing... Mafefe.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO-"

"Cool it a second, big shot," Mafefe interrupted. "I'm only back to tell you that one of the guys that are here wants to show you something outside. He paid me ten denari!" He smiled happily.

"Oh. Okay. NOW GET OUT!" Wolf yelled, brushing past him, and heading for the main doors.

"I will..." Mafefe said. Waiting until Wolf was out of earshot, he added, "When I'm ready... Heh-heh-heh..." He then disappeared down a nearby hallway.

Meanwhile, Wolf had made his way outside, and was surprised to find a rather tall robot waiting for him.

"What the..."

"Greetings, sir," the robot said, sounding very much unlike any robot Wolf had ever heard. "I'm Articerile Montague... I wanted to show you my uber-impressive mech-suit, so you could see how valuable I'd be to your team!" He then proceeded to show off the maneuverability of his mech unit, and the weapons.

Wolf narrowed his eyes when he was done.

"You'd be swell for ground missions, sure, but what about for the air?" he asked. "We spend a lot of our time flying."

"Easy." Out of the top of what Wolf took to be the robot's head, came a small figure, who quickly clambered down to the ground. He moved so quickly, Wolf couldn't see him to tell if he was a human, Lylatian, Martian, or what. Seconds later the figure had bounded into the cockpit of a nearby Wolfen, which had carelessly been left with the hatch open.

"Andrew's," Wolf thought, rolling his eyes.

But he paid attention to this Articerile person, who quickly started the Wolfen and took off. He took the ship through a quick series of loops and turns, then landed it without missing a beat. Hopping out, he quickly scaled the mech-suit, and took his place in the 'head' once more.

"Whatcha think?" Articerile called down.

Wolf nodded.

"You seem to know your stuff, and that mech-suit looks pretty sturdy," he said. "I'll put you on the short-list... I'm not entirely sold, mind you. I've got more people to talk to."

"That's fine, you'll figure out I'm the one you need soon enough," Articerile said.

"Don't get cocky, pup," Wolf warned.

"Where can I park my mech and take a load off while you make up your mind?"

"Over there, in the hangar," Wolf said, motioning. "There's a coffee maker in there, and some stale donuts... Help yourself."

As the mech-suit ambled off, Wolf shook his head slowly. All right, so the kid wasn't a bad pilot, and he had a mech-suit. But Andrew wasn't a bad pilot, either, and his LandBlaster tank was faster than any mech-suit, albeit probaly not as versatile.

No... So far Wolf wasn't exactly thrilled with the outcome of his own plan... Crazy as that seemed, considering who he was. He was Wolf O'Donnell. He was a legend. And he was arrogant, too. Oh well... There was a first for everything.

*****

Wolf sat down at the table after sending two more losers packing, and sighed. This was not what he had expected. Then again, his plans never worked. How many times had he faced that blasted Fox McCloud and lost? Of course, Fox and his dorky companions always seemed to get lucky... Something happened that turned things their way. That didn't seem to happen for Wolf.

"And why not?" he wondered. "Am I not faster, stronger, wittier, better looking, cooler..." He trailed off as he heard a knock at the door. "Come in."

Seated at the table arcross from him a moment later was a strange little man dressed in green overalls, and a green hat sporting a letter L on it. Wolf rolled his eyes, but asked him some questions anyway.

"Name?"

"I'm-a Luigi."

"Experience as a mercenary?"

"Err..."

"Experience as a pilot?"

"Well-a..."

"What was your last job?"

"I-a was a plumber-a," the little fellow replied.

"Plumber?"

"Yes-a."

Wolf rubbed his temples, contemplating various ways of torturing this guy for wasting his time. A minute later he said, "You have one minute to get off this planet before I rip out your eyeballs and make you swallow them."

"Oh-a, dear-a," Luigi said, paling. "That's-a not very nice-a! I-a thought you were-a one of the-a good-a guys, Mr. McCloud-a!"

"Did you say McCloud-a? I mean... McCloud? You fool, my name's O'Donnell! Wolf O'Donnell, sworn enemy to Fox McCloud!" Wolf snarled, leaping to his feet.

"Oh-a..." Luigi said, visibly trembling. "My-a mistake... Must-a be going now-a... Good-a-bye!" With that he ran as fast as his little legs would carry him, never looking back.

"NEXT!" Wolf called, furious.

The door swung open as Wolf sat down.

"Hi, I'm Lazlo Buttersworth!" said a voice.

Wolf looked around but saw no one attached to it. Perplexed, he said, "Where are you?"

"Right here!"

Wolf stood up again, and looked down. Hidden below the edge of the table was a very short... thing. It was rather like a large marshmallow with legs, a hat, and... a shovel.

"Can you even work the controls of a ship?" Wolf asked, torn between laughter and dismay.

"Err... No... But I can dig things up!" Lazlo replied.

Wolf sighed.

"Out... Just... Out..." he said, waving a hand.

"Sure thing! I'll just go dig around outside, boss," he said, and scurried out the door.

"No, wait, I didn't hire... Aw, skip it," Wolf said, shaking his head. "NEXT."

"Eekum Bokum!"

"Said what?" Wolf said, staring with wide eyes at the newcomer. He was a strange little purplish creature with a skull mask (or maybe it was his face)... He was wearing mechanic's overalls, odder still.

"Mumbo come from far off land to join Wolf Man's team."

"So you're... Mumbo?"

"How Wolf Man know Mumbo's name? Mumbo no tell him."

Wolf rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, what skills do you have?" he asked.

"Mumbo Jumbo best shaman in land... In all lands," Mumbo replied.

"Shaman? Isn't that like... A magician or summat?" Wolf asked skeptically.

"Yes. Mumbo very adept in magic. Mumbo show Wolf Man?"

"Yeah, sure, go ahead..." Wolf replied.

Mumbo glanced around the room, and his eyes rested on a plastic plant in the corner.

"EEKUM BOKUM, EEKUM BOKUM, BOOP BADA BOO, BOOP BADA BOO, EEKUM BOKUM, EEKUM BOKUM, HEE HO HA, EEKUM BOKUM, EEKUM BOKUM, OOBANACKA!" he chanted.

To Wolf's amazement the plant began to move! It sprouted root-like legs, and limb-like arms, and googly eyes. It started walking around the room, air-boxing.

"Mumbo give plant strong right cross," Mumbo said proudly. "Mumbo best shaman in universe."

Wolf stared at the plant as it made it's way out of the room, and down the hall. He briefly thought about what Andrew would say if it walked into his quarters, and that made him laugh.

"That's pretty impressive stuff, shaman," he said a moment later. "But what about being a mercenary? And piloting a ship?"

"Mumbo best at everything Mumbo put his mind to. Mumbo good pilot, and Mumbo is darn good mechanic, now, too. Mumbo know his nuts and bolts."

Wolf nodded slowly.

"Why don't you head down to the hangar and wait for my decision?" he asked, getting to his feet. "I'm pretty much sold, but I have more people to talk to."

Mumbo shrugged.

"Mumbo best recruit in universe," he said. "Mumbo no see what Wolf Man have to decide. But Mumbo wait in hangar." He left the room, as Wolf called out, "NEXT."

The next two interviews went rather quickly... The first was with a fellow named Josh Cornwell.

"Okay, Josh, first question... Do you have what it takes to be a merc?"

"Um... No, not really..."

"No?" Wolf repeated. "Then why are you here?"

"To try and help you avoid losing your soul," Josh replied.

"...That's ridiculous. Get out."

"Okay, okay... But let me leave you this pamphlet on divine teachings-"

"OUT. NEXT."

The next person was a girl, the first to ever try to join the team.

"You're... You're... A FEMALE..." Wolf said in surprise.

"Duh..." she said, rolling her eyes.

"Err... Name?"

"Jo Elliot."

"Why do you want to join?"

"Because I think animals are cute," she replied.

Wolf glared at her.

"That's your big reason?" he asked.

"Yes... What better reason is there?"

"OUT! OUT! OUT!" Wolf yelled. "AND I'M NOT CUTE, EITHER!"

"No, you're not, you're a meany..." she said, shaking her head. "I'll go see that cute Fox."

"GET OUT!"

Wolf sighed in dismay... There was only one more person outside, and no telling rather more would show or not... And he had only two halfway decent propsects.

"Oh, whatever is the matter, Wolfie-boy?" asked Panther Caruso, as he entered the room.

Wolf looked up angrily.

"Don't call me that, you freak..." he grunted.

"Why don't you just take it easy, relax... Smell the roses?" Panther said, whipping out a rose to hold under Wolf's nose.

Wolf had a deadly gleam in his eyes, which most people would've picked up on. Panther just thought he liked the flower.

The next possible recruit heard quite a lot of crashing, slamming, and cries of pain coming from the interview room. He steeled himself, and pushed the door open, just in time to see Wolf heave... something... into a closet, and slam the door. He spun around and glared at the new arrival.

"What did you see?" he asked.

"Erm, nothing, sir," the short, reddish-colored Anthro-Avian said. "Nothing at all."

"Good. Sit down. Now... What's your name?"

"Kazzart Twessel, sir."

"Said what?"

"Call me Kay-Tee."

"That's better... All right, why are you here?" Wolf asked.

"Um... To join your team, sir," Kay-Tee replied. "I'm a pretty good pilot, a quick thinker, and a great cook."

"Yes, well... Wait... Did you say a great cook?"

"Yes, sir."

"Hmm... Well, I'll say this, you have good manners. You're a promising sort, even if you are a bit small. And we need a cook. So, why don't you head out to the hangar, and meet Articerile and Mumbo? They're on the shortlist, and now so are you."

"Thanks, sir!" Kay-Tee said, hopping up, and dashing away.

Wolf smiled... Maybe this would work out. And... He really did need at least one new member now.

End of Chapter One

Well, that's it for now... Expect me to add chapters fairly quickly. As I said, this fanfiction is almost complete, so it's simply a matter of editing and transfering. By the time I'm caught up here, it will likely be done at CGC. Hope you liked it, and please comment! - Jonny Wolfe (WolfManJon)