The True Price of Freedom

She had that painfully desperate look in her eyes, the one he always hated to see, especially in her eyes. She has such beautiful eyes, more beautiful than a sunrise, a deep blue, an entrancing blue, a blue that always reminded him somewhat of what he was leaving her for. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks, her lips parted slightly. She choked on her words every time she tried to speak them. It was too heart breaking to say aloud.

"I'm sorry, darling…" Was all he could utter. He hated doing it, hated watching her defences crumble, like they always did where he was concerned. She bit her lip, nodding. She took a shaky breath, turning away from his searching gaze. And finally the words broke free.

"I love you, Jack. I always have." He looked at her, impassively. He wasn't shocked, oh no, he had known for a long time. He had known by the way her eyes lit up when she opened the door, the way she watched him whilst he was supposedly asleep, the way she smiled sadly when he said it was his time to go.

"I know…" He replied, still looking at her expressionlessly. She barely moved, yet turned slightly to him.

"I…do you…?" She held back the question. It was simple enough, a yes or no answer would suffice, at least until he had flown again. It was simple, so, so simple but still it was the hardest thing she ever had to do. And somehow, he guessed.

"Do I love you, too?" He paused, watching her wipe away a tear. She brushed back her hair, looking at him properly for the first time since he had told her he was leaving again.

"Please, Jack…" She paused, closing her eyes.

And, he knew.

She wasn't asking him to say yes. She was asking him to say no. He stood silently, watching her.

"You can't love me, Jack, not properly. There's only room for one woman in your life and the more I think about you and her, the more I realise that I will never win. She's your everything, isn't she, Jack? She's your freedom…" She whispered the words, more tears cascading down her cheeks. He longed for something to say back, something to say, to take the pain away. He wanted to say something to tell her that he loved her in his own way, a way that she could never even begin to understand. But, he couldn't. Words truly did fail him. She nodded, his silence saying more than words ever could, however misinterpreted. Sadly, she turned to the window, gazing out at the large black sails.

"She's waiting, Jack. She's waiting for you." He bowed his head, his hat covering his face in shadows. And as quickly as he had appeared, he had disappeared.

And, as quickly as he had disappeared, she was drowned in a current of uncontrollable weeping, longing for him to return and take her in his arms, kiss her and tell her that she was the only woman in his life. Yet, as she watched him leave, heading towards the docks, he didn't look back. And she knew he never would, no matter how much she wished for it…

…

The look on the woman's face told him all he needed to know. It was a look of grief as a small envelope was placed into his hand. He nodded his thanks and left, heading back to 'his freedom' as she had put it that time, that last time. That last time he had been able to hold her and kiss her and whisper sweet nothings into her hair. That last time when he had not the courage to say he loved her back.

Because he did. He did love her back, more than she could ever know. And more than she would ever know.

He walked up the gangplank, into his cabin, ignoring the crew and anyone who tried to talk to him. He wasn't interested in them, just in her, her letter. Sitting at his desk, he ripped the envelope open carefully, pulling out the letter with tenderness. Her elegant writing danced across the page, the black ink standing in contrast with the white paper. There was little there, only a few lines.

'Dear Jack,

If you're reading this then thank you. Thank you for coming back. I know I wasn't the most important thing in your life, Jack, but you were the most important in mine. You always had been and always will be; even now you are all I can think of. I couldn't stand it any longer; it was so painful knowing that I would always come second, after the Pearl.

I know we never would have worked, you're a pirate and I'm not. But I still kept that little bit of hope, that hope that one day you might love me.

And then I realised, that last time, you would never love me. And it hurt so much, too much for me to bear. This time it was my time to go.

I hope you find your freedom eventually, Jack. And when you do, I'll be smiling down on you, watching over you, looking after you, I promise.

I love you, Jack. I love you so much, more than you'll ever know.

My eternal love '

She had written her name at the bottom, the ink running from not only her tears but his as well. It was the first time he had ever cried. He looked out of the window, across the sea.

And there, as if she really was looking over him, was the most beautiful sunrise he had ever seen, although, they were no where near as beautiful as her eyes. She had such beautiful eyes, a deep blue, an entrancing blue, a blue that would always remind him of what he had left her for, why he had lost her, the true price of freedom…