Allergies

Disclaimer: I tried to buy Roxas on Ebay, but it turns out that Nobodies DO count as people. So, basically, I own nothing.

Pairing: Demyx/Zexion:

Genre: Humour/Romance

Rating: K+, for very mild sexual references

Summary: Demyx has the "allergic to work" syndrome. Zexion is unimpressed.


A midnight haired teenager is sitting in an unadorned white room, reading a gigantic book and looking generally emo. Suddenly, he hears the noise he has been dreading for an hour.

'Zeeeeexxxiiiieeee…!'

The boy's dark eyebrow starts to twitch. He has just fifteen more pages to read until he reaches the end of the chapter and the insufferable lazybones finally decides to wake up? AND he uses that… nickname…

A blond teen with a mullet bursts through the (already open) door overdramatically and starts grinning like the Cheshire freakin' Cat.

Zexion sighs in annoyance at seeing his lover so early in the morning.

That's probably not a good sign… he muses to himself.

Zexion opens his mouth to tell Demyx that he is on an important mission with Xaldin today and he really doesn't have time for the other's antics when he is rudely interrupted (Although he had not yet begun to speak).

'Zzzeexiiee, were there any mushrooms in my food last night?'

'…Perhaps.'

'Ah-ha! I knew it! That's why I'm so sick! I am allergic to mushrooms! I won't be able to work all week! Honestly, Zexion, you should know something like that about your boyfriend,' Demyx said triumphantly.

Zexion fixed him with a condescending glare.

'So I suppose you know what I'm allergic to, then?'

'…'

'As I suspected. Regardless, it is a moot point because there were no mushrooms.'

'But, my mission today is with SAΪX!'

'So it is jour job, not really mushrooms that you're allergic too, then?'

'Well, them too, but I'm REALLY allergic to work. It gives me a horrible rash, and stomach ache, and vomiting, and-'

'Vomiting? Well, you'll be sleeping in your own bed again tonight, won't you? And don't expect me to be joining you. I have no wish to be covered in your vomit. Not again. Not after the incident with Larxene's absinthe.'

'That wasn't my fault. You shouldn't have been doing THAT to me while I was sick, remember?'

'…You weren't the only drunk one there, were you now? How, pray tell, was I meant to know that you couldn't hold your alcohol when I had never before –and never since, actually- seen you intoxicated?'

'Well, given that I was holding my stomach and groaning about how I was about to throw up, you really should have known better than to trigger my gag reflex like that- You're supposed to be the super observant one of the organisation, remember?- and then I wouldn't have vomited in your mouth, so it really was your fault! And maybe the fact that I almost never drink should have clued you in to my low tolerance problem!'

Zexion had no answer to that, however, he was not willing to simply let Demyx win an argument, because his hyperactive lover would never shut up about it. There was only one thing he could do to save his dignity.

'Well, Zexy? What say you to that, hm?'

'If I tell Saïx that you really are sick, will you never tell anyone that you just outargued me?'

'ANYTHING, Zexy!'

And so, that was how Zexion ended up doing two missions in one day to make up for Demyx's absence. Saïx really did have a cruel sense of humour. But as Zexion worked, he thought up a perfect plan to gain his vengeance.

Three weeks later:

'Zexion! I wasn't joking when I said I was allergic to mushrooms!'

'Well, why did you not recognise them when you were eating them?'

'Because I never eat them, given how they make me violently ill!'

'Well, there's no way that Saïx is going to believe that again, so you can just go and do your mission today. Then maybe you will be taught a lesson for your sloth.'

The two Nobodies walk out to the Grey Area (or, rather, one walks, the other stumbles, holding his stomach and leaning against the wall every so often) to see an empty room and a notice on the window that absolutely horrifies Demyx.

'ZEXION!'

(He screams loudly enough to wake Axel from his first nap of the day)

Unfortunately for Zexion, it turned out that he was also allergic to mushrooms after he ate the remainder of them for lunch that day. Both Nobodies spent their vacation day horribly sick in bed, and not on speaking terms with each other. After a week, the two reconciled as the result of a rather disturbing encounter with a horned marten partway through a mission in a strange place called the Inkworld and got back to their usual antics… during said mission. Saïx was not amused.

Fin


A/N: Love it? Hate it? Please tell me, or I'll assume you hate it. And whoever can guess where Demyx and Zexion go on their last mission and what fandom the world is from gets a cookie!

Please tell me if I butchered either of their characters, that is one of my worst fears as an author.