Brother
It wasn't long ago,
that I sat by and
watched your fingers
caress the keys of
the old grand piano
in the drawing room,
making music that
I couldn't get out
of my head.
It wasn't long ago,
that you would
call me our parents'
puppet, and that
I only knew how
to appease them,
never thinking
for myself.
It wasn't long ago,
that you left me
alone with mother
and father in this house,
forever to rot
amongst the old
traditions that you
so gleefully rejected.
It wasn't long ago,
that I wished I could
be just like you, and
have you love me,
just like you loved
who you referred to
as your "real" brother.
I remember trying to
play the piano with
your same grace,
eyes reading the
notes on the page,
but fingers never
quite hitting the
right key.
I remember showing
you the books I filled
with my elegant script
that perfectly matched
yours, hoping you'd find
something amid my
poetry worthy of praising.
I remember seeing you
in the halls at school,
secretly hoping that one
day, you'd invite me to
join you and your friends,
who you seemed to consider
your siblings more than you
considered me your
brother.
I remember all the times
I wanted you to turn
around and hug me,
or just ruffle my hair
in the way I hated you to,
just to show that you
actually cared.
Instead you went to live
with people who shared
your same liberal views
of the world, leaving
me in the shadows.
Instead you threw me
into the corner to gather
cobwebs and dust when
all I wanted was for you
to take me with you.
Instead you picked your
boyfriend over me,
hoping to escape from
what you thought was
a false reality.
Instead you never taught
me the real truths of the
world that you always
said I should believe;
the things you said
you believed.
Secretly, I cried,
missing you…
longing for you
to come back.
Secretly, I thought
about rebelling from
our parents, just to
show you that I could.
Secretly, I watched you,
and wondered what
you would do if I tried
to talk to you.
Secretly, I dreamed
about you hugging
me, waking when I
realized that I would
never have you come
back to kiss me goodbye.