Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth:
Chapter I
"This is not good..." Liu Bei sighed. "Our popularity is at an all-time low and this generation of people do not bother to read the book... save for those ones at the Dynasty Warriors 2 board... Oh why does heaven bring this fate down on us...?"
"Did the idea ever occur to you that... we're dead?" Cao Cao scowled, glaring away from the Shu leader in annoyance and mockery.
"Not to mention that most people just like writing about perverted stuff about us," Lu Xun pointed out. "That girl with an obsession with Zhou Yu is definitely frightening. The amount of yaoi she reads and the potential of perverted fantasy that flows freely through her mind is just totally-"
A swift movement by another person's hand cut off Lu Xun, tightening his fingers around Lu Xun's neck like a vice.
"Gackt!- not right-," the young strategist paused to take a deep sweet breath of air," -now."
"Bah." Lu Bu released Lu Xun from his deadly grip and waved him away like a pesky fly that had already been dealt with. Lu Xun gasped for air and inwardly cursed his DW2-modeled body. Why not just follow the character design from the book...-?
Meanwhile, Lu Bu took Lu Xun's seat casually at the conference table, even daring to put his feet atop the table. Zhuge Liang twitched and wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"So... what are we talking about?" Lu Bu asked casually with a slight tint of boredom in his voice.
Everyone sighed. No one liked Lu Bu but they can't exactly kick him out of the meeting even though they all had elite bodyguards. Even a Liu Chan clone could retell their experience of being thrown around like rag dolls during the Hu Lao Gate level. No matter how much they tried musouing him (potentially lowering down their bonus points at that)- no one really survived without repeating the level more five times and/or building up strength in freemode. Needless to say, they were stuck with him.
"We're thinking up way to build up our popularity," Liu Bei summarized. "Do you have any suggestions?"
"Real-Life Hentai videos for one," Lu Bu said. "Even better with Diao Chan and-"
Dong Zhuo cleared his breath rather noisily at this and shot Lu Bu with the evil eye. "Have you been forgetting about something... Lu Bu?"
Lu Bu glanced lightly towards his ex-ruler and said "Well, of course we can't put you in with her... not very many people would want a bare fat-"
"BE QUIET YOU TRAITOR!!!!!" Dong Zhuo roared in rage, his face turning into the cliché engine red colour, jumping out of his seat at the same time.
Lu Bu waved him off in his annoying casual way again. "But we'd have to think realistic here. The market for the video wouldn't be too good and would be restricted to the most elite of the perverted... although if we put someone in instead of you- anybody would watch it. So the male character probably has to be muscular, attractive, and with a big #)(&#$ so I guess the best contestant is m-"
"Attractive?! Ha! Only when Wei and Shu forms an alliance!"
Everyone turned around to see the speaker, a dashing and rather pretty stylish guy with a glint of mischief in his amber eyes. And he seemed to be damn well cocky too for that matter.
Zhuge Liang sighed again once more. Gongjin, when would you ever shut up-? Then shook his head slightly in disapproval.
Zhou Yu Gongjin took advantage of his DW2-modeled body, and probably vainly gelling each strand of hair for hours in the morning... his dark red hair seemed to act gravity defiant for that matter...
The cocky guy smiled a rather cocky smile and said "Why, I'm so beautiful that even Luo Guanzhong said that I was hot! Muscular- ha! I fight in the front lines of my battles. Attractive? People say that I'm beautiful enough to be a girl! And I attract so much fans... even the perverted batch... (**shudders at the thought of his stalker**). And how about the third part? Well, I bet that-"
"Ahem," Liu Bei cleared his throat in turn, it was torture for him to see his comrade- Zhuge Liang to be wincing and covering his eyes in shame and almost tear out his hair in self-mutilation; this conversation definitely grossed out the poor guy.
Before anyone could say even another word, the doors to the meeting room had burst open and a girl pushed in a big-screen TV-- equipped with a DVD player and several surround sound stereos of course.
The rather odd girl smiled disturbingly, and several of the Chinese generals recoiled in fear and horror, even Zhou Yu lost his usual cocky suaveness.
"No need to discuss a hentai video!" the hyper girl said perkily. "Because we already have one!" Then she turned on the TV...
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Note from author:
It's past 2 o'clock am... wheeeeeeeeee... definitely the time for odd fiction...
Bah. When I upload a chapter in Word, the italics doesn't show up when it's on the fanfiction.net server so I just stuck in ""around the supposed to be italicized words instead.
Hey, guess who that girl is? You DW2 people would probably figure that out easily...
Chapter I
"This is not good..." Liu Bei sighed. "Our popularity is at an all-time low and this generation of people do not bother to read the book... save for those ones at the Dynasty Warriors 2 board... Oh why does heaven bring this fate down on us...?"
"Did the idea ever occur to you that... we're dead?" Cao Cao scowled, glaring away from the Shu leader in annoyance and mockery.
"Not to mention that most people just like writing about perverted stuff about us," Lu Xun pointed out. "That girl with an obsession with Zhou Yu is definitely frightening. The amount of yaoi she reads and the potential of perverted fantasy that flows freely through her mind is just totally-"
A swift movement by another person's hand cut off Lu Xun, tightening his fingers around Lu Xun's neck like a vice.
"Gackt!- not right-," the young strategist paused to take a deep sweet breath of air," -now."
"Bah." Lu Bu released Lu Xun from his deadly grip and waved him away like a pesky fly that had already been dealt with. Lu Xun gasped for air and inwardly cursed his DW2-modeled body. Why not just follow the character design from the book...-?
Meanwhile, Lu Bu took Lu Xun's seat casually at the conference table, even daring to put his feet atop the table. Zhuge Liang twitched and wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"So... what are we talking about?" Lu Bu asked casually with a slight tint of boredom in his voice.
Everyone sighed. No one liked Lu Bu but they can't exactly kick him out of the meeting even though they all had elite bodyguards. Even a Liu Chan clone could retell their experience of being thrown around like rag dolls during the Hu Lao Gate level. No matter how much they tried musouing him (potentially lowering down their bonus points at that)- no one really survived without repeating the level more five times and/or building up strength in freemode. Needless to say, they were stuck with him.
"We're thinking up way to build up our popularity," Liu Bei summarized. "Do you have any suggestions?"
"Real-Life Hentai videos for one," Lu Bu said. "Even better with Diao Chan and-"
Dong Zhuo cleared his breath rather noisily at this and shot Lu Bu with the evil eye. "Have you been forgetting about something... Lu Bu?"
Lu Bu glanced lightly towards his ex-ruler and said "Well, of course we can't put you in with her... not very many people would want a bare fat-"
"BE QUIET YOU TRAITOR!!!!!" Dong Zhuo roared in rage, his face turning into the cliché engine red colour, jumping out of his seat at the same time.
Lu Bu waved him off in his annoying casual way again. "But we'd have to think realistic here. The market for the video wouldn't be too good and would be restricted to the most elite of the perverted... although if we put someone in instead of you- anybody would watch it. So the male character probably has to be muscular, attractive, and with a big #)(&#$ so I guess the best contestant is m-"
"Attractive?! Ha! Only when Wei and Shu forms an alliance!"
Everyone turned around to see the speaker, a dashing and rather pretty stylish guy with a glint of mischief in his amber eyes. And he seemed to be damn well cocky too for that matter.
Zhuge Liang sighed again once more. Gongjin, when would you ever shut up-? Then shook his head slightly in disapproval.
Zhou Yu Gongjin took advantage of his DW2-modeled body, and probably vainly gelling each strand of hair for hours in the morning... his dark red hair seemed to act gravity defiant for that matter...
The cocky guy smiled a rather cocky smile and said "Why, I'm so beautiful that even Luo Guanzhong said that I was hot! Muscular- ha! I fight in the front lines of my battles. Attractive? People say that I'm beautiful enough to be a girl! And I attract so much fans... even the perverted batch... (**shudders at the thought of his stalker**). And how about the third part? Well, I bet that-"
"Ahem," Liu Bei cleared his throat in turn, it was torture for him to see his comrade- Zhuge Liang to be wincing and covering his eyes in shame and almost tear out his hair in self-mutilation; this conversation definitely grossed out the poor guy.
Before anyone could say even another word, the doors to the meeting room had burst open and a girl pushed in a big-screen TV-- equipped with a DVD player and several surround sound stereos of course.
The rather odd girl smiled disturbingly, and several of the Chinese generals recoiled in fear and horror, even Zhou Yu lost his usual cocky suaveness.
"No need to discuss a hentai video!" the hyper girl said perkily. "Because we already have one!" Then she turned on the TV...
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Note from author:
It's past 2 o'clock am... wheeeeeeeeee... definitely the time for odd fiction...
Bah. When I upload a chapter in Word, the italics doesn't show up when it's on the fanfiction.net server so I just stuck in ""around the supposed to be italicized words instead.
Hey, guess who that girl is? You DW2 people would probably figure that out easily...