Disclaimer: Yup, I don't own anything! looks at the shirt on my back not even that sniff.

Hey! Ever Thought of being a Death Eater?

By Troian

Come join the ranks of the fabulous Death Eaters!! You may ask "why would I want to become a Death Eater?" Well there are many reasons, the main being if you don't join, you will most likely be pushed around or even be killed! There are many benefits to being a Death Eater: You get to torture and kill people! You will get to shoot the cool Dark Mark into the air! You get to run around in a mask and tell people "guess who!" And many more benefits!!

Join now and get a FREE TATTOO (on your left arm only)!!!!

Requirements to become a Death Eater:

1. Must hate muggles, and mudbloods.

2. Must be a pureblood. Your family tree will be looked at to make sure your pureblood (if your halfblood then just rearrange your full name into another name, and say your pureblood).

3. You CAN NOT have a scar on your forehead!!!

4. Must have greasy hair.

5. Must be a frequent shopper at Borgin and Burkes.

6. Must have a son in Hogwarts (in Slytherin house) or a relative in the Ministry of Magic.

7. Must have some good connections. Your automatically in if you knowing a great plastic surgeon for the Dark Lord.

8. Must own a supper cool and scary mask and one black cloak.

9. Must be able to shiver on command of the cue cards.

10. CAN NOT have red hair and freckles.

So what you waiting for! Step into your fire today and say "Death Eater Employment Office!!"

Warning of occupational hazards: Might be tortured by your employer. Might be killed by your employer. Might be feed to a snake. Might be killed by your employer's enemies. Might lose your right hand for your employer. Might be left in the same room as Bellatrix Lestrange…..eeek! Might be bitten by Fenrir Greyback. Might be possessed by your employer (hasn't happened in years though). Might have to become a teacher at Hogwarts (Guy in the corner holds up the "shiver" cue card….. "hey, you got that down, good job"). Might have to drink Polyjuice potion for a long period of time.