"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Tamlen, lethalan."
The encampment had left Kana to her mourning, her faithful marbari by her side giving her as much comfort as he possibly could. Alistair was off to the side, keeping an eye on her. He was far enough away that he wasn't impeding on her personal space, but close enough to hear the almost chant that she had now devolved into murmuring to herself.
Tamlen, whoever he was when he lived, must have been of incredible importance to his love. It almost made him jealous, but he did not like to see Kana in pain regardless of what caused it.
Warbari let out a whine, butting his head up against his master who let out a sob before placing an arm around the war hound.
"You can come and sit down, Alistair."
Alistair jumped, he hadn't realised that his presence was noted, but he shouldn't be surprised. Kana was an elf, a Dalish elf at that and was used to the constant paranoia of moving around constantly, dogging slavers and those that would do her clan harm.
"Are you sure?"
Without a word she patted the empty ground next to her, gesturing for him to take a seat.
She took in a deep breath and began to speak.
"Tamlen and I, we were born a week apart. We were always close, closer than siblings at some points. We weren't in love with each other or anything, but it was something like that. We probably would have grown into love if that blasted mirror hadn't come into our lives."
Alistair couldn't be jealous of the other man. How could he? Kana was an incredible woman and anybody who loved her was lucky just to know her. He certainly felt blessed every single moment that he had known her, even in the shortest time and under the circumstances that they had met.
Kana thought for a moment, Alistair allowing the silence that had befallen amongst them. "Or maybe not. We probably could have done, but I want more than just a marriage and children. I've always wanted adventure, and unfortunately I got my wish."
Alistair let out a short, humourless laugh. "I'll say."
"Tamlen loved the night sky, just staring up at it. He always wondered if there was something else out there, other than the gods. I would always laugh and tell him to get his head out of the clouds. We would get into trouble, sneaking out at night. Well, I'd be following him, trying to make sure that nothing killed him, or snuck up on the camp by accident. The Keeper would always scold us, but the hunters would laugh and joke about midnight trysts."
Warbari shifted, noticing the shift in mood as his mistress let out a low keening noise, almost a sob. He looked mournfully up at Alistair, as if wondering if there was anything that he could do. Alistair was just as lost for words as the marbari. He hadn't personally lost anyone in the way that Kana had, having to give them a mercy killing; his sister (or at least the woman that he had always believed to be his sister) was certainly a piece of work, his half-brother had died at Ostagar and had been left hung, scarred and naked in the ruins of the battlements.
He wasn't sure what was worse; having not been able to save a brother in battle or having to kill them as part of setting up camp?
"Theres something to be said about having your head up in the clouds, it's not a bad thing."
Kana let out a true laugh, rough and croaky from disuse.
"Oh! You and Tamlen would have gotten along swimmingly," Kana smiled a little. "Apart from you being a shemlen."
"Shemlen?"
The word wrapped itself around his tongue in a manner that was almost familiar, but not quite.
"Non-dalish folk, human."
"Ah."
They sat in a comfortable silence for a long moment, listening to the crackling of the flames and Leliana singing at a distance; a lamentation of some sort, clearly the rest of the camp knew that something had happened when the attack had finished.
"Supper is served!" Wynne called out, startling the two out of their silent companionship.
"You go, Ali, I need a moment more to myself."
Alistair studied Kana, gazing intently into her red rimmed eyes.
"Go, I'll be with you all shortly."
"We're always here for you, you know that, right?"
Kana grabbed a hold of Alistair's hands, rubbing gentle circles with her thumbs.
"Go."
He gave her hands a squeeze and a gentle kiss to her forehead and headed back.
Kana looked up to the night sky, the stars twinkling brighter than they had in a long while. Maybe there was something to Tamlen's theory? That there was something else out there?
Slowly standing up, she stretched out her arms and legs and made her way back towards the flames and her companions.
Dareth shiral, Tamlen. Ar lasa mala revas, at last.
A/N: So the working title for this was 'tamlen i miss you boy' and honestly, it still works. I'm never getting over his death, and he wasn't even in the damn game for very long. Ah well, I hope that you enjoyed!