I need a "dammit Ed you're ruining Christmas again" shirt.


Tien stretched his arms over his head and sighed in relief when he heard his back pop. He was so stiff from being on his feet all day, but thankfully his shift would be over soon and he could go. Piccolo could bitch about Tien "ditching" him all he wanted; he was legally entitled to go home at 4:30 and he was going to, dammit.

Snow swirled outside the café window and he grimaced. The weather had been awful all day, and wasn't supposed to let up until the next morning. Normally the café would be packed at this time of year, with people needing caffination to power through their holiday shopping, but the weather was keeping it quiet. Tien didn't mind that so much, but he definitely wasn't looking forward to walking home in a blizzard. Maybe it would let up a little bit while he walked home.

The door slammed open and a man rushed in, mostly covered in snow that he shook onto the floor. Tien sighed. He'd have to mop that up later probably, unless he could convince Piccolo to do it. "Hi there," he called from behind the counter. "Just let me know when you're ready to order, okay?"

The man sauntered up to the counter with a grin. "Sure thing."

Tien felt like he recognised the man from somewhere. He was a repeat customer or something along those lines—Yamcha, he was pretty sure that was his name. He was cute, though, even with the two scars on his face. Long, wavy black hair draped over his shoulders, dripping melting snow onto the floors that Tien had just cleaned, but he tried not to hold that against him. He had a cute grin, too. He didn't have a coat, which made Tien raise an eyebrow—why would anyone go out in weather like this with no coat?—but instead a giant knit sweater. It was covered in tacky rainbow ornaments and stars and candy canes, with the words "MAKE THE YUELTIDE GAY" in giant red and green letters in the middle. It was, in short, the ugliest thing Tien had seen in some time.

Which, incidentally, worked out pretty well.

"Hey, you're in luck," he said. Yamcha looked back at him, cocking his head slightly to the side. Tien blinked. Oh, no, he was cute. "Uh." He cleared his throat and tried to force himself to focus. "We're having a promotion right now," he said, pointing to a chalkboard sign next to the cash. Krillin had spent hours on it, making it look just right, and it still wasn't centred quite right. "Come in wearing an ugly holiday sweater and get a free coffee." Tien smiled. "What kind of coffee would you like?"

Yamcha frowned. "What do you mean?"

Tien faltered. "Or not coffee. Do you drink coffee? We can probably substitute it for tea, or maybe hot chocolate if you want—"

"No, I mean what ugly sweater?" He looked down at his shirt. "Do you really think my shirt is that ugly?"

Shit. Tien stammered, trying his best to backpedal. "N-no, I mean it's not ugly, really, but it is kind of, um, tacky?" Yamcha's face fell. "I mean not tacky! It's not tacky it's just…colourful! That's all, and it's maybe a little crowded and the composition is weird—not weird! B-but anyway it's a holiday sweater, anyway, so we can—"

Yamcha's face got stormy. "My grandmother made me this sweater!"

"I'm sorry," Tien mumbled. God, he'd really put his foot in it this time.

Yamcha put his hands on the counter and leaned forward, grinning. "Nah, dude, I'm just messing with you, I got this online." He laughed at Tien's dumbstruck face. "This is my 'dammit Yamcha you're ruining Christmas again' shirt."

Tien tried to smile, but it didn't feel like it worked.

"Ah, shit, dude, I'm sorry." Yamcha leaned back, frowning. "Did I seriously upset you? I didn't mean to; I was just trying to make a joke. Sorry."

"It's fine." Tien had never dealt with jokes based around misconception well (or jokes in general, really), but there was no way Yamcha would know that. "So, uh, did you want that coffee?"

"Yeah, the darkest roast you've got, please." Yamcha shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels while he waited. "I still feel kinda bad, dude."

"Don't." Tien shrugged and handed him his mug. "I never take jokes well, even if they're not at my expense."

Yamcha's eyes widened. "So you just…don't have a sense of humor?"

"Not much of one, anyway. It's hard for me to tell when people are joking."

He let out a long, slow whistle. "Well, I guess I just have to come back and tell you more jokes until you get it." He grinned and Tien's heart melted a little.

"I might like that," he said quietly.

Yamcha's grin faltered and his cheeks flushed. "Oh. Uh, okay." He tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear and his smile turned a little shy. "See you tomorrow?"

Tien's answering smile was just as shy. "It's a date."

Yamcha fumbled over his answer, choosing instead to bolt from the café. Tien wondered if he'd come off too strong there, but hey, Yamcha had left him a tip for a free coffee and said he'd see him tomorrow. He decided to count that as a win.