Title: Don't Look Back In Anger
Title: Don't Look Back In Anger
Rating: NC-17 for future sex
Pairing: Jack/Juliet
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or its characters
Author's Note: This will be a WIP, it's going to be different as Jack and Juliet will be parted from the beginning but don't get excited, there will be FB smut!
Warning: There will constitute Jate (not sexually, come on! Look who the writer is, but yeah she'll be in it)
Chp 1
He sat in the dark, damp parking lot and waited. The smell of exhaust fumes exasperating his fatigue. He just wanted to sleep, but he knew if he closed his eyes, all he would see was her. The thought alone sent a stabbing pain to his heart.
Hearing footsteps, he dragged his body out of his jeep and headed towards the waiting cab.
"Hey."
"How did you know I'd be here?" the brunette asked with just a hint of a smile.
"Uh, you're lawyer gave me the heads up. He owed me one."
"Thank you for saying what you did."
"You're welcome," he replies and stares off into the distance.
It's hard to look at her, the one he managed to save, unlike the one he didn't.
"You know Jack, I've heard you say that story so many times, I'm starting to think you believe it," she tells him, trying to find something to break the tension.
"I just, I just wanted to tell you that what I said in there…I didn't mean it," he tells her and they're both taken aback by the confession.
He thought his bond with her broke the day they got off the island. She thought it broke the day the blonde pressed her hand up to the glass.
"Do you want to follow me? Come by for a visit?" she asks hoping they could reconnect but deep down she knew it wasn't going to happen. He ached for something else, someone else, and she and her son were only a reminder of who was left behind.
"Uh, I actually have to get over to the hospital. But, um, maybe you and I could grab some coffee together or something."
Her smile fades into a frown, but she tries to show him sympathy, "I know why you don't want to see the baby, Jack. But until you do, until you want to, there's no you and me going for coffee."
He nods like he understands even though somewhere inside him he's screaming why. Why doesn't she understand?
"But if at anytime you change your mind, come and see us."
He looks away again and answers, "Yeah. Okay."
"Bye," she tells him with a resolute sigh, and gets into the cab.
"Bye," he says.
Kate missed it. Missed his point, what he wanted from her, what he needed. He ached to sit beside someone who knew. Someone that for just five minutes would sit with him, drinking overpriced coffee and just be. Someone he didn't have to pretend with, to lie to. Someone he didn't have to act like it didn't all go terribly wrong. But then again, Kate was never one to look back, she only ran forward.
…..
"Are you sure?" Hurley asked with desperate hope in his voice, "Are you sure more of us couldn't fit in?"
Jack nodded, "There's no way this Cessna is going to take off with more than five of us."
"Well then, there's only one thing to do," Sayid said stepping forward, "Jack will have to begin by piloting the women off first."
"Okay," Jack agreed before Desmond pushed through the small crowd gathered around the plane.
"There's no way that plane is taking off without me brother."
"Look Des, I'm coming back," Jack said but Desmond knew, without having one of his flashes, that there was no coming back to this place, he just knew.
"No way, I'm on that plane."
The crowd began to argue over who had the most right to leave. Finally Sawyer hollered for everyone to shut up.
"You can all draw lots," he said.
"I don't know if that's a way to decide who should go James."
"Why not? I'd have bet you'd have loved the idea John. I mean, if it's their destiny to leave, then they'll leave. Right John?" Sawyer replied sarcastically.
Locke gave the Southerner a smirk.
"Seems fair," Kate said.
"What?" Jack asked in surprise.
She shrugged and began to look around for some twigs. She broke them into different sizes and handed them to Jack.
"Since we know you're the only pilot that gives you an automatic seat. You hand them out to decide the other four."
Jack reluctantly took the sticks from Kate and lined them up in the palm of his hand. He started with Claire, then Hurley, Desmond, Kate, Jin and Sun, then Sawyer.
"Not me Doc," he told him and stepped back.
"Why not?" Jack asked in curiosity.
Sawyer looked once at Kate then shook his head.
"Nothing to go back for."
Jack wondered at his words but moved on.
"Rose and I won't be drawing either," Bernard told him.
"You sure Rose?" Jack asked.
"Yes Jack, I'm positive," she said and took hold of her husband's hand.
Finally Sayid took one, then Juliet.
"Ready?" Jack asked her.
She took a deep breath placing her hands around Jack's clenched fist. Juliet closed her eyes for a moment then took one of the twigs.
"Okay," Jack said, "The four longest get to go."
On a count of three they all opened their hands to reveal what they had chosen. Kate let out a little gasp of relief. She looked at Jack and smiled widely. He smiled back.
"Looks like you're out of here amigo," Sawyer said to Hurley.
"I was always lucky," Hugo said in a melancholy voice.
Jack turned to Juliet, "Well?"
She smiled broadly at him and his shoulders fell in relief.
"Looks like I'm the last of the four," Sayid said.
"We should get going then," Kate said.
She was never one for goodbyes, never could stand it as she turned her back on Sawyer. "We don't know when he'll be back."
Sayid agreed and he pulled Hurley apart from Claire's arms and towards the plane.
"What about me?" Desmond cried out.
"I'm sorry," Jack said,
"But I need to, I need to see Penny!"
Jack winced at Desmond's desperation, at all the other's disappointment.
"Come on Juliet," Jack said gravely but she stood rooted on the spot.
"What's wrong?" he asked looking into her blue eyes, flooded with tears.
"I can't," she said and looked back at the crowd, "Sun," she called out to the Asian woman who gripped her husband's hand tightly in fear.
"Juliet, I know what you're thinking but don't," Jack pleaded.
"I have too," she said then motioned for Sun to come over.
"Sun has to get on that plane," she explained then turned to a baffled Sun, "You'll go instead of me," she told her.
"But Juliet, without Jin I can't."
"Listen to me Sun," Juliet said gripping her shoulders, "You remember what I told you. You need to go."
"Yes," Jin agreed and began to speak desperately in Korean.
Jack pulled Juliet aside.
"You can't be serious," Jack said.
"I need to do this Jack. She'll die if she doesn't get off the island. She'll die and so will her baby."
"I'm coming back," Jack told her.
"I know. And I'll be here, waiting, but Sun needs to go now."
"Then let one of the others, Sayid. Let me talk to him, I'm sure he'll,"
"No Jack. I need to do this, she's my responsibility. And we don't even know where Ben is. You need Sayid. You need him to keep you safe, to help you get out of here," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.
Jack's bottom lip began to tremble.
"I can't let you do this, I can't go without you."
Juliet's tears were flowing freely down her face. "Jack, I need to do this. I need to save her. All of them died Jack and I sat by unable to do anything. I can't just walk away knowing I could have saved Sun. I have to. I have to save at least one."
Jack knew she was right but his heart couldn't let go.
"I promised, I promised," he said struggling to speak, "We'd do it together."
"And we are Jack. You'll be back for me," she said and drew him into a tight embrace, "I know you'll come back."
He held her tightly, too tightly, but he felt like he couldn't get close enough, that she was already slipping away from him. Juliet cupped his tear stained cheeks in her hands and looked deep into his eyes.
"I'll wait for you Jack Shephard, I'll wait for you forever," she said before kissing him deeply, "Now go."
She pushed him onward towards the plane. He pleaded one last time with his eyes before accepting her decision.
"Sawyer!" he cried out and the blonde sauntered over to him, "You take care of her. You keep her safe understand?"
"Yeah Doc, I hear you."
Jack nodded, biting down on his lower lip then got into the plane. He hesitated slightly before starting the engine.
As the plane began to roll, Claire ran up to the cockpit banging on the door.
"You have to take him; you have to take Aaron," she cried, "Kate you have to take my baby."
Before Kate could say anything Claire shoved the baby into her arms.
"Wait Claire I can't," she began to protest but Jack had already shut the door.
"I love you Aaron," Claire said choking on her tears, "Mommy loves you!"
The plane pulled away and was gone before anyone could change their minds. Desmond running along with it, his arms lifted to the skies in protest.
….
The Cessna landed bumpily on a private airstrip in Fiji.
"Oh my god, we did it," Kate said holding Aaron tightly to her chest, "We really made it off the island."
Their legs were shaky as they stepped onto the tarmac, looking around them in a daze of confusion and disbelief.
"Where is everyone?" Hurley asked.
The air around them was silent except the hum of the engine winding down.
"Hello Jack," a familiar voice came from behind.
Jack whipped around to see Benjamin Linus walking up to the small group of survivors.
"Here's how this is all going to work."