CHAPTER 1

She looked at him from across the gym. How could she ever face him again, after telling him she loved him, and the shock when he said he might be in love with her in Rio. Only thinking of it made Payson turn red. After Rio they had had a couple of awkward encounters, both of them not really knowing what to do or say. She sighed and shook her head.

'This is going to be a long practice.' She sighed quietly. Absentmindedly she walked towards the water cooler trying to clear her head before continuing practice so she didn't notice the man who entered her mind just seconds ago walking up to her.

'Payson, can I talk to you for a sec?' Max asked, she jumped at his voice but nodded.

'I want to explain my behaviour.' He started awkwardly, Payson waited for him to continue but he seemed lost for words. She decided to make it easy, so she could go on with her life as well.

'You don't have to explain.. I was just so happy with everything, going to Worlds and having the endorsement I needed.. I-I just didn't think it through.' And it was true, she hadn't thought it through, but afterwards she had and realised she actually didn't love him at all. He was just so easy to be with and not complicated. Exactly what she needed, but not at all what she wanted.

We can still be friends right? I mean, we always were and I would like to keep it that way.' She asked him hopefully. When she saw his disappointed look she almost took back her words, but that wouldn't have been fair. So without waiting for an answer she walked away towards the vault to practice her new jump. She rolled her ankles one by one before preparing the fast sprint, but couldn't get her mind to shut up. She closed her eyes, trying to visualize the jump. After taking a deep breath she ran a fast as her legs would allow her. The Tsukahara Straight with a Double Twist was all about speed, a lot of speed, but she couldn't land it. Frustrated she got up to try again, but after falling on her butt five times in a row she decided it wasn't going to happen today.

Giving up on vault she went on to bars, maybe this would set her mind at ease. With bars you always needed to focus and not be distracted, you just simply couldn't afford it. She sighed and started chalking her hands when she felt the burning presence of the person she didn't allow her mind to go to at night.

'Are you alright Payson?' He asked concerned. His British accent never failed to make her shiver, and yet again she could feel it cursing through her body. She didn't turn around and didn't answer him, not trusting herself, so instead she nodded and went ahead. She could feel his eyes on him her whole routine, but wouldn't let her mind go to any thoughts that might lead to her falling, as she had for the good part of today. Determined to ignore him she performed her routine nearly flawless, a small smile appeared on her face and for the first time today she felt slightly relieved. Distractions can effect my performance, but if I push myself hard enough I can ignore them and be better because of it, she thought to herself.

He watched her from across the gym, the emotions on her face confusing him. And the change of colour was even more concerning. She had been performing poorly all day long and he didn't understand why. He briefly considered talking to her, asking what was wrong, but he didn't want to intrude too much. Payson always was a quiet person, especially when it came to her feelings. Maybe she just hade a bad day, he really hoped it was just that. Becoming World Champions didn't mean they already made it to the Olympics. So much could go wrong in the meantime and with his girls distractions were the reason of most problems. If by tomorrow she hasn't improved I'll talk to her, he decided and focused on Kaylie again. She couldn't hold his attention for long though, her beam routine was solid enough. When he saw Payson talk to Max he immediately understood why she had been off all day. The sound of their voices did not reach him, but the expression on her face clearly showed awkwardness. He sighed to himself, did nobody follow his no dating rule anymore, not even Payson? That reminded him, he had to talk to Austin about his stunt in Rio. Rubbing his hands over his face he tried to focus on Kaylie again. She did an amazing job at Worlds, but she had a long way to go if she wanted to make it to the Olympics.

A loud thud made him jump inwardly. His head snapped to the vault on the far end of the gym and saw a figure on the mat behind it, flat on her back. He shook his head, she could nail that Tsukahara weeks ago.

'Watch your extensions Kaylie.' He said without paying much attention. He could hear it in her movements. Most of the time he didn't even need to watch his girls perform anymore. Just hearing it was enough. He learned that the hard way, after Payson fell and when they started training together to get her back on top. He could dream her routines, her extensions, the way she looked at him when she was mad, when she was confused or frightened. There he learned he didn't need to watch to know what was wrong with her or his other gymnasts. That's why he knew Kaylie was in trouble, and that Lauren had a lot on her mind. But it didn't made him take a lot of action. Of course he went to Ronnie and Alex and told him about his concern, but that was all he had done. And with Lauren and Emily he hadn't done anything. Again he heard a loud thud coming from the vault and saw Payson lying on her back. Irritation clear on her face, her eyes burning with fire. He didn't need to stand in front of her to see the desire to nail that Tsukahara. Slowly he walked away from Kaylie not knowing if he wanted to get closer to Payson or getting away from his torturing thoughts. He sighed again and realised he sighed a lot lately. He didn't have a legitimate reason for feeling disturbed, four girls on the USA team were his and they just won Gold at Worlds. All his girls were happy and healthy again, everything was going fine. So why didn't he feel more relieved and happy? He knew the answer but wouldn't go there.

When he saw Payson abandon the vault without sticking the landing he decided to talk to her today after all, especially because she headed for bars. She couldn't do her routine while she was in this mood. He came up behind her and without saying anything he knew she had noticed him, the light shiver that always appeared never stopped him to inch even closer.

'Are you alright Payson?' He asked? Not knowing what else to say without making her uncomfortable. He could she her hesitation, but then she nodded and got to the bars. He watched her intensely and was surprised at her performance, it was nearly flawless. He wanted to go to her and congratulate her, but she had already moved on to the floor.

'This is going to be a long practice.' He muttered to himself before turning his attention to Austin, that boy was in for a gruesome practice.

A/N: So this is my first attempt ever to write FF and to write in English so pardon my grammar. It's just that I read all the Payson/Sasha FF and got inspired to do one as well.. hope you'll enjoy it. I have my summer vacation now so I'm hoping to write a lot. I'll see where this story leads me:) R&R please, criticism only makes me improve my story and grammar (I hope).