A/N: Hi everyone, and welcome to my fourth fic ever! Woohoo! (Throws confetti) I'm a little hyper right now, sorry. This is just another oneshot. I know I should be working on A Kidnapped Heart right now, and I apologize to those of you waiting for an update on it, but this idea has been bothering me for ages, ever since I read Syolen's Wake. That's some really good writing, and I'd like to thank her for the inspiration for doing this. Oh, one quick note: Throughout this story, Al is still in his armor body. And the song is My Immortal, by Evanescence. It's a really good song. Try listening to it while reading; it fits the FMA story perfectly. Anyway, here it is…My nice, depressing fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, or the song My Immortal, by Evanescence. Even if I did, I wouldn't be cruel enough to actually do this. I'm not that mean. I think I'd suffer emotional breakdown or something.
Rating: K+
Summary: Some tragedies are never meant to happen. Some people should never be torn apart. Unfortunately, things don't always turn out like they should. Oneshot, songfic.
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Lost Forever
Al sat on his bed, sobbing loudly, hugging himself and rocking back and forth. Ed was nowhere to be seen. Moments ago Al had ran upstairs to his and his brother's room, now belonging solely to him, unable to cry even though he wanted to with all of his heart. Another sob escaped his frame, and he wondered how he felt like his heart had been ripped out when this cursed body didn't even one. His brother was gone…Ed was dead…He could never come back…These thoughts wouldn't stop running through his head, mocking him, laughing at his terrible pain. NO! He thought, Brother can't be dead! He would never die! We're going to finish our mission together! He promised!
I'm so tired of being here,
suppressed by all of my childish fears,
and if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
because your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
He thought back to what he had seen before, downstairs.
He walked in, still not comprehending whose body he held in his cold steel arms, looking remarkably like they had on that horrible night years ago. Laying Ed down on the couch, Al turned to look at the horrified expressions of Winry and Aunt Pinako standing in the doorway, struck speechless by the terrible sight that lay before them. They rushed forward, checking Ed's pulse. There was nothing to find. It was too late. Never again would they see those striking gold eyes twinkle with laughter, or narrow in anger, or wink with mischievous intentions behind them. Never again would he see them fight back tears. He would never grin again, or shout out his fury at being called short by some unsuspecting bystander. He would never spar again with his brother, or tease Winry and be forced to dodge wrenches. He would never deftly tie back his golden blonde hair again into the braid he was sometimes teased about, or grumble about a certain colonel. Al would never again see his eyes harden with resolve to return them to their bodies. He was gone. He was lost forever.
He would never come back. All of this hit the three of them, and Al rushed upstairs, unable to bear the faces of his friends looking at him in sympathy and deep sorrow, tears starting down their faces. And here he was, still despondent, unable to grasp what had just happened. They had been attacked by homunculi, suddenly, with no warning, and as they aimed at Al, attempting to break through to his blood rune and attack Ed's only relative and weak point, the short alchemist threw himself in front of his sibling, and took the finishing blow for him. Seeing this, the homunculi cackled, and took off, leaving Al with his dying brother.
Ed gazed up at Al's face, the last thing he would ever see, as blood trickled out of his mouth in a thin line. He struggled to speak, and managed to get out in a hoarse, strangled whisper, "I'm sorry, Al. I failed. I didn't get your body back yet…"cough, "You can do it, though. I have faith…I...love you…little…brother." And with that he closed his eyes for the final time.
Now Al was ready to howl with misery. They had failed. He was too late to restore Ed's limbs, to restore his own body. He couldn't remember, might never remember, how Ed's skin felt, or how he smelled, or the comforting touch of his hand as he consoled him late at night. He didn't know what it was like to hug him, or hold him close, to cling to each other as the last relatives they had. And now he was gone. It was too much to bear.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When I cried you'd wipe away all of my tears,
when I'd scream you'd fight away all of my fears,
and you've held my hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
It just seemed like too much for anyone to handle. Nothing in their life ever went right. First their father left, before Al could even remember him, then they went to train in alchemy, and lost Ed's limbs and his whole body trying to bring their mother back, only to have to kill the hideous monster they had created. Then Ed wound up being a dog of the military, just trying to regain what they lost, and in the end, they wound up losing even more.
Through all of their hardships, Ed had been the one thing Al relied on. He would always be there, to take care of him, and Al would help him, too. He was the person he looked up to, wanted to mimic, his older brother who was his icon. But now, he couldn't forget about him. He face wouldn't leave his mind. His words echoed in his thoughts, and he kept wishing that this was just some nightmare that he could wake up from, and find his brother there, beside him, as always, to continue their journey together. But no, that would never happen.
You used to captivate me,
by your resonating light,
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind,
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams,
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.
These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
His brother was the only one that kept him going, that healed his tortured soul. He was the one that made sure he was safe at the end of the day, that assured him things would be alright, that the evil in their past and their future would never reach them. When Al was scared, it was always his brother that was there beside him, reassuring him, holding his hand through the dark night. Al couldn't believe he was gone. He would always love his brother to no end.
When I cried you'd wipe away all of my tears,
when I'd scream you'd fight away all of my fears,
and you've held my hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
and though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along.
When I cried you'd wipe away all of my tears,
when I'd scream you'd fight away all of my fears,
and you've held my hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me.
Al would survive though, and push on. He would finish what the two of them had started. He would do what his brother had always wanted, and do it for him. His eyes began to show a spark of life as his determination hardened. Al would keep his brother's light and memory alive in his heart and soul. He would survive the long night, and try to comfort others as his brother would. He would push through his pain. And he would always, always love his brother. Forever.
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A/N: So, was it good? Was it depressing? Sorry it's so short, but it's what came to mind. That song is sooooo sad. It's a beautiful song, though. Oh, I would like to comment that I changed a tiny part of it. In the chorus starting with, 'When I cried you'd wipe away all of my tears…", the first three lines of that I changed a bit. Everywhere it says "I", if you go with the actual song, it is "you", and vice versa. Also, "my" is "your". But I needed to adapt it a little bit for my purposes. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading, and please review.