It's been three months since Under The Mountain and a lot has happened since then. For starters Tamlin and I have gotten engaged and he has become paranoid and insufferable. Don't get me wrong I love Tamlin but I can not manage this anymore. Wherever I go he surrounds me with guards and sentinels and it is suffocating, whenever I talk to him about it he gets mad and has magic outbursts. I was even injured in a few of the. After his magic outbursts ' he keeps apologizing and saying it won't happen again , but what do you know it does. Rhys hasn't come to whisk me away to the night court yet and sometimes I wish he would. The manor is starting to feel like a prison and sometimes I just need out no matter how selfish it might be. Not to mention I'm struggling in this new fae body of mine and throwing up every night after all my nightmares of Under The Mountain doesn't help . Most of the time I feel like a lost cause. My reading skilks haven't improved either. Which brings me to the present. I am currently wearing a big hideous wedding dress which Ianthe (Tamlins bestie' stuffed me into and she made sure to make me where gloves so that my night court tattoo is not visible. I don't no why though I quite like it , I think it's beautiful. "Come on Feyre , Tamlin is waiting for you at the altar" and there is Ianthe as irritating as ever. "Im coming , I'm coming."
When I get to the isle my heart is beating so wildly I'm surprised no one can hear it because there on the other side of the isle is Tamlin but to get to him I have to walk over all these red petals. Petals that look like the blood of the face I killed in Ammarantha's court. I can't do this anymore and I'm not even sure if I am still in love with Tamlin. Sure he saved me but he is also the one that makes me feel like I'm drowning and can't get back up. No I can't save me , please , help , I can't do this , save me ' keeps playing like a mantra in my head. And that's when it happened.