A Note From Georgia

Bonjour my tiny American chums! Here is yet another of my marvelous diaries. I have heard that Jas keeps a diary, but what do I care? My SG will be back soon, back from Kiwi-a-gogo land, and then everything will be fab, fab, fabbity fab. Besides, she probably talks about her homework sessions with Hunky. Honestly, who does homework with their boyfriends?!? Time is too short for that. But I love you Jas, really I do. Cheers!

-Georgia

tuesday august 17

my bedroom

11:00 am

Nothing interesting happens round here. Libby threw her porridge at the ceiling fan this morning and got porridge everywhere, but that's about it. Mum had an awful time cleaning the porridge out of the carpet though. Libby, of course, smacked her with her spoon and called her a 'bad boy' when she tried to get it out of her hair. Angus didn't seem to mind though. He went straight outside to torment the prat poodles with porridge dripping off his whiskers. He is half as mad again as Libby though.

1:00 pm

Mum finally got the porridge cleaned up, but it still smells a bit funny in the kitchen. Libby is at a day care (thank you baby Jesus) while Mum goes out to get some shopping done. She asked me if I wanted her to get me some clothes, but I just stared at her until she left. It's sad how she tries to keep up with us teenagers.

4:00 pm

Jas came round for a bit. We sat in my room munching pop tarts. Jas said through a mouth of pop tart, "Oo do oo fink our form teasher will be?" It took me a minute, but I managed to figure out what she was mumbling. "Our form teacher? Bet it's Hawkeye. Of all the form teachers to get, we'll probably get the worst. She really hates me. How can she hate a sweet, innocent girl like me?" Jas just tutted at me. Really reminded me of Mum. I told her so. "Well, you're not exactly a 'sweet, innocent girl' are you?" she said. I jus looked at her.

"Jas"

"I mean, there was that time when you let the locusts out in the biology lab."

"Jas."

"And that time when-"

"Jas!"

"What?"

"You are supposed to be on my side. That is why you are my tip top pal."

"Am I really your tip top pal?"

"Yes Jas, you are."

"Oh. Well, I can't really say you're a 'sweet, innocent-"

"Jas. Just drop it."

"What?"

"Just. Drop it."

Oh, all right then"

I must be a very good person to put up with her when she's like that. Which is most of the time. But she really is my bestest pal. After all, it was her who helped me stalk Wet Lindsay. And I really do love her, even though everyone knows she is as mad as a badger.

6:00 pm

Rang Jas.

"hello?"

"Jas, it is me, your bestest pal."

"You're my bestest pal?"

"Of course."

"All right then."

There was silence then. Honestly, I couldn't possibly imagine what she was doing, but I didn't really care.

"Jas"

Silence.

"Jas!"

"What??"

"Why are you not talking to me?"

"I thought you had just called to tell me you were my bestest pal. And maybe you were thinking of what to-"

I had to stop her there. She really is bonkers.

"Jas. I was not thinking of what to say. I was trying to have a conversation with you. You are my very bestest pal."

"Am I really?"

"Yes Jas, you are."

Silence again. What in the name of Slim's gigantic knickers was she doing now?
"Jas, what are you doing?"

"Hrm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, erm...just...erm.... doodling..."

Good Lord. She was doodling. I didn't really want to know, but I am a nice person, so I asked, "What are you doodling then?"

I could almost see her going pink and white at the same time.

"Just...erm...me...and...erm.... Tom. Well, our names. In a heart."

I honestly don't know why I put up with her sometimes. Imagine how boring her life must be...

"That's wonderful Jas, but I really must be going now..." I actually did have to go; I could hear Vati lumbering down the stairs to have a good shout at me. I heard her hang up the phone, and I did likewise, and then leapt away from it. I casually opened the refrigerator and pretended to rummage around in it for something. You see, I am not supposed to be making phone calls, as I am grounded. And it's all for nothing too! Who would have thought that my face cream could make such a startling change in Vati?

My face cream bottle had gotten a hole in it, and Vati's shampoo bottle hardly had anything in it, so I just emptied out the bottle and poured in my face cream. I didn't think Vati would actually try to shampoo what little hair he has left with it, or that it would give him an awful rash. How am I supposed to know these things?