Double Date

Happy Valentines Day. Shout out to the Gauntlets and Greaves Discord, you utter lunatics.

"You want to do what?" Emerald looked at Weiss like she had just grown a second head of had professed "I wish to marry Jaune Arc." In other words, she looked at the Schnee like she was insane.

"I asked you if you wanted to go out to dinner tomorrow." Weiss frowned. "Given how it is Valentine's day I thought-"

"No, no, I heard that part. Sounds neat. No, I meant the part where you want me to go out with Mercury."

Yang had proposed a double date to Weiss the night prior. Herself, Weiss, Mercury and Emerald, a steakhouse Yang had wanted to visit for a while, all under the guise of it being a Valentine's Day event. It sounded a little too good to be true. Mostly because Mercury was going to be there, and he would inevitably ruin it. Emerald had known Mercury for years, and it was no coincidence that her life had been miserable from that day until she met Weiss.

"He's not that bad-"

"He's like a parasite Weiss. He pretends to be nice while burrowing under your skin. How fancy is this place?" Weiss opened her mouth. "On a scale of one to ten," Emerald hastily added.

Weiss shrugged. "Moderately fancy. Six, seven if I'm feeling generous."

"He'll ruin it, trust me. He's gonna come in surfer shorts or not even wear a shirt at all. He never takes anything seriously."

"It won't be that bad." Weiss sat beside Emerald ant put her head on Emerald's shoulder, a weary sigh escaping her as she sat down. "Yang promised she'd keep Mercury under control for the evening, and if it turns out bad, we'll just head home early and grab some ice cream from that place you like off Higashikata avenue."

Emerald hummed at that, eventually sighing. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you when he ruins it." Emerald shrugged. "I doubt he'll say yes anyway."

"I hate you," Emerald hissed to Mercury, who simply smirked in response. He'd said yes. He'd been on time. And he was wearing some high-quality shirt and non-ratty trousers. He even had a sports coat on. Emerald had been trying to get him to wear something that wasn't a leather jacket for six years and Yang managed to get him to put on a coat in six months. Life wasn't fair. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"Play nice," Weiss murmured.

Emerald rolled her eyes but held the menu up to prevent having to look at Mercury. Weiss had really undersold this place- dark red lighting in the walls along with a collection of candles, an actual jazz band playing in the corner and professional service without bordering on obsessive hovering that you got in those fancier places. She wouldn't mind coming back here with Weiss in the future. Assuming she wasn't arrested for finally murdering Mercury at the end of this.

Weiss looked stunning of course, though she could pull off anything and make it work (as had been proven last Halloween when she wore all the guy's clothes and pulled them off incredibly well). The way she blushed when Emerald told her that always lit a small fire in Em's chest. Yang wore a backless dress that let out her extensive tattoo of a dragon. It looked like something right out of a yakuza film and pretty much everyone watched the way it rippled with her powerful back muscles as she walked. It gave Emerald some solace to know that Yang could break Mercury over her knee without really trying.

The waiter arrived soon after to fill their glasses with some complimentary wine (Mercury abstaining as he always did, instead getting a glass of cranberry juice), and food was swiftly ordered. For the most part a nice and normal interaction until Mercury eyed his menu.

"Can I get an adults portion of chicken nuggets?" Yang choked on her drink while Emerald's glare lowered the temperature a few degrees. "I oppose the killing of cows for steak."

Weiss looked dumbfounded for a moment. Emerald shot her a look that screamed a thousand variations of "I told you so."

"Uh, sir…" the poor waiter rubbed the back of his blonde head awkwardly. "The nuggets are on the children's menu."

"Yeah, I'm quite aware of that." Mercury flipped open the menu. "Look, here it is, right beside a cartoon dragon. That's quite cute by the way, who drew that?"

"Um… my sister did, she's in elementary school-"

Mercury put some money in the waiter's front pocket. "Buy her something nice. Anyone that can draw a dragon that good is alright in my eyes."

Emerald by this point had been eyeing the wine bottle and considering just swigging it like she was about to get her leg sawn off. Judging by where Weiss was looking, the feeling was mutual. Yang in the meantime had a large goofy smile on her face as she watched Mercury.

The waiter stumbled away soon-after, Mercury taking a content sip of his cranberry juice. He popped his lips. "That, that there is some high-quality juice."

"Are you even human." Weiss didn't say it as a question.

Emerald groaned. "Sometimes I wonder that myself."

Weiss coughed awkwardly. "So, anyway, Mercury, how did you and Yang meet?"

Yang paused at that. "Oh yeah, we never explained that."

"Right." Mercury nodded at that. "So, Yang and I are both in engineering, but I'm also majoring in music. So sometimes I mix my hobbies together. For example, Em and I have this mutual friend called Vernal-"

"Wait a minute," Emerald interrupted, "is this the drum incident?"

"The one and the same." Merc smirked.

Emerald leaned back at that. "Son of a bitch," she murmured.

"So anyway, Vernal is one hell of a drummer but she can get a bit over-enthused and she managed to smash her drums the day before her exams. So, I have a genius idea."

Yang snickered. "He bursts into the room where we keep the 3D printers at two in the morning on a Tuesday and tries to make an entire drum-set."

"Why were you there?" Emerald asked.

Yang awkwardly laughed. "It's not important-"

Mercury's eyebrow rose at that. "As I recall, you were quite invested in finding out whether or not you could 3D print drugs."

It was Weiss's turn to choke on her drink this time. "You actually tried that?"

"I was drunk!" Yang's voice rose defensively. "It was two in the morning! I had no impulse control!"

"You don't have any impulse control when you're sober!" Weiss's voice rose accordingly. "Is that why Ruby nearly made my phone explode with texts that week?"

Yang looked away, eyes becoming shifty. "I can neither confirm or deny the events of that week."

"So anyway," Mercury decided to throw Yang a lifeline, "Yang convinced me to not tell anyone so long as she took me out to dinner. Then we clicked, and we began dating." Merc popped a complimentary mint into his mouth. "I bet it's cooler than how you met."

There wasn't really a romantic way to explain "I vented about my awful ex-boyfriend to my friend but wound up texting you instead I'm so sorry can I buy you coffee to apologize," so Emerald just shrugged. "You… would not be wrong," Weiss eventually said, deadpan.

The food arrived soon after. Emerald had to remind herself to not just cram the whole thing in her mouth and gorge out, instead very carefully slicing the meat into tiny chunks. It was good, too- cooked to perfection and melted on her tongue. Weiss hid a tiny smirk as Emerald did so while Mercury poked at his nuggets and Yang wolfed down her steak. The way her hair lit up and her eyes glinted in the low light really did make her look like the tattoo on her back. Weiss eventually wound up engaging in her customary tradition of offering her spare food under the guise of "you have to try this, trust me," and her fork went around for everyone to taste. Mercury even made an appreciative sound when Yang had to shove the fork in his mouth since he said he'd rather eat his nuggets. It almost made Emerald ignore the smirk he shot at Yang when Weiss's fork lingered in Emerald's mouth for just a second.

Soon after the plates were cleared and sent away, leaving the four to sit back and relax. Mercury seemed to be considering asking if they did to-go meals for the nuggets and cranberry juice, but Yang shushed him. Weiss left to go to the bathroom and Yang followed, leaving the two there. Mercury shot Yang a smirk as she left (Weiss trailed behind so all three of them could watch Yang's tattoo moving) before looking at Emerald, seeming to almost study her. She was used to it by this point, but she still squirmed under his gaze.

"What?" She eventually snapped.

Mercury huffed, resting his elbows on the table. "You're in love."

Emerald blanched at that. "What the fuck are you smoking?"

"Come on, I'm not blind Emmy. Sides, I know you better than anyone. You. Love. Her."

"I am not taking life advice from the imbecile who orders chicken nuggets at a steakhouse." Emerald crossed her arms, letting her anger override that quiet voice in her head that whispered that he wasn't wrong. "Besides, I didn't ask you for your opinion." Her eyebrow rose sharply. "Oh right, psychology major, no one asks for your goddamn opinion because you picked the only degree shittier than a liberal arts degree." She snorted. "No wonder you came back to do an engineering degree."

"That and robots are easier to fix than people," Merc shot back wryly, "it's a one and done deal while people take fuckin' ages to repair." He sighed. "OK screw it, you wanna not play around, fine. Weiss loves you Emmy."

"What."

"Look at her. Super affectionate? She's a frigging ice queen, she's never affectionate unless it's one of her close friends like Yang or little Red." He looked at her pointedly. "Or you. And I can see how you act around her; you're l-word for her."

Emerald blinked. "Lesbian?"

He sighed. "The other l-word."

She thought about it. "Lesbians?"

Mercury's head hit the table. "I literally just said love like thirty seconds ago how the hell are you that dumb?" Mercury looked up and saw Emerald holding back a chuckle. "Yeah, screw you too," he muttered.

"Look, even if she did love me," Emerald's face crunched up at the word, "there's plenty of people better for her than me. I'd just hold her back. It doesn't make sense why she would love me."

"Well that's love," Mercury shrugged, "it doesn't need to make sense. Love's a weird as fuck mix of chemicals that makes people do irrational things for no real purpose. She's fallen for you Emmy, so let's cut the next six months of will-they-won't-they and the fun but tedious betting pool that will form as we wait to see who will make the first most and just carpe diem. Seize the day and the girl my friend."

Behind Mercury, Weiss and Yang were coming back out. Merc grabbed a napkin and jotted down a quick bill. "My charge," he said, voice dripping in smarminess.

Emerald just rolled her eyes as she tore up the napkin. "Fine wiseass, one condition."

"Anything." The smug smile came back.

"Practice what you preach, because you've fallen for Yang like a skydiver."

Merc gaped like a fish at that, ignoring Yang pecking his cheek as she came back in. "You guys ready?" she asked.

Emerald smiled at Weiss as she sat down as well. "Yeah, I think we're good."

Mercury was still processing.

"He's silent," Weiss mused. "What did you do to him?"

"Some kind of miracle, let's go before he opens his mouth again."

The bill was paid for and a taxi was called for Weiss and Em (Merc was driving for himself and Yang). As the taxi pulled up to provide solace from the cold night air, Mercury grabbed Yang by the hand. "There's, uh, something I gotta say in private," he mumbled into Yang's ear.

Emerald snickered as they drove away, waving jauntily at Mercury. He flipped her off as they rounded a corner.

"You seem in good spirits," Weiss mused. The wine was starting to kick in for Emerald as she rested her head on Weiss's shoulder.

"Had a good night," she said lazily. She dozed off for a spell, waking back up when the taxi pulled over. Emerald waited by the door while Weiss paid the fee. "Um, Weiss?"

"Yes?" Weiss's breath misted in the cold. Some strands of her hair had come down from her ponytail and rested above her eyes while her cheeks began to turn red with cold. She was gorgeous.

"You know I…" she hesitated. If this didn't work, she'd burn Mercury's house down. "You know I love you, right?"

Weiss's breath caught. She smiled affectionately at Emerald.

"I love you too Emerald." She came in for a kiss, Emerald's eyes closing in pleasure as she cupped Weiss's cheek.

"Oh, thank God," they both muttered at the same time before laughing.

"I can't believe goddamn Mercury Black figured that out before me."

"Yang and I were having that exact conversation in the bathroom. She said I was all over you at the table." Weiss tucked some hair strands behind her ear. "I thought I was subtle."

"Well you had me fooled, but I'm kind of an idiot." Emerald's face fell into her hands. "Mercury knew I loved you before I did. Mercury."

Weiss just chuckled at that before kissing Emerald again.

Their phones began to vibrate with texts as they pulled away. Weiss chuckled as she showed Emerald Yang's text, a flurry of exclamations that loosely translated into "Mercury said he loved me!"

Mercury's message was a short and curt one. "Fuck you, it worked, you bitch."

Emerald snickered again. "Well at least I can lord this over him."

"Everyone wins then." Weiss was still smiling. "Mind if we go inside now? This cold is getting to me."

"Uh, yeah, sure. Night is young and all."

Weiss's eyebrow rose at that. "In terms of come-ons, I've heard better."

"Did it work?" Emerald asked cockily.

"… Yes," Weiss admitted as they walked upstairs. "Don't get any ideas about this."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Emerald paused at their apartment door. "Though I doubt I'll be doing much sleeping tonight anyway."

Weiss growled as she pushed Emerald against the door and kissed her roughly.

Thanks for reading. Happy Valentine's Day.