Everyone has their vices. Everyone gives in to bad habits and destructive behaviors so they can have just one short moment of feeling good. Kenny tried everything. Anything that held the smallest promise of making him feel okay was his temporary best friend, until it stopped working and he moved on to something new.
He was just getting off of drugs again, but he was restless now with nothing to fill the hole inside his chest. He told himself that he couldn't keep doing this, he wouldn't allow himself to turn out like his parents, but sooner or later he was back to drugs. Didn't matter what kind as long as they made him forget how much he hated his life.
But there was one other thing that he could count on to lift his depression. Sex. Sure, he felt overwhelmingly guilty and hopeless about ever finding real love after he participated in anything purely sexual, but the euphoria he felt while doing it was enough to distract him when he really needed it. And in all honesty, he was already hopeless whether he had meaningless sex or not.
Kenny stared transfixed at his ceiling, half in and half out of sleep. Monday meant a brand new week, which in turn meant finding a vice that worked for him. Something that wasn't drugs. He didn't feel like dealing with teachers and counsellors telling him the dangers of substance abuse at school. Guess meaningless sex just made the cut.
He sighed, pushing himself up from his bed and throwing the blanket aside. He grabbed his phone from under the pillow and scrolled through his contacts trying to find someone who wouldn't only be willing to have sex with him, but would also be willing to skip a class to do it.
Wendy unfortunately didn't fall into either category, Bebe was back with Clyde so she was out of the question, Red was still with Kevin, Sally wasn't into guys, Annie wasn't into sex, and Heidi was too overweight for Kenny to handle right now. That left Nichole and Millie. No, wait, that just left Millie. Nichole was still on vacation with her family.
"Hey Millie, do you want to skip school with me? My parents aren't home so we'd have the place to ourselves." He read over the text a few times before deleting it and starting anew.
"Hey Millie r u down to skip? My parents arent home, we can have some fun if u know what i mean ;)" Aaaaand send. Better to act like he doesn't care, like he has other options. Sex gets complicated when you add stuff like emotions and love into the equation. That's where it stops feeling good and starts hurting deep inside your heart.
Kenny tossed his phone onto the bed while he waited for a reply and went to stand in front of his grungy full length mirror. His reflection stared back at him hollowly. For Mr. Number 7th Hottest Guy he didn't look all that great. Sure, he lucked out in the genetics department, but that didn't magically fix the years of not caring for his teeth, or all the sleepless nights pilling up under his eyes.
He changed into new underwear and pulled on his pants and parka, flipping the hood over his head just like every other day. He checked his phone and opened Millie's reply.
"Srry, busy" Was all she had texted.
Guess he'd just have to do it himself then. It barely made a difference to him, he always felt just as guilty afterwards, although a little bit more pathetic after masturbating than he did with sex.
He tossed his phone back on the bed and slid his pants down again.