Jared
Disclaimer: The following characters belong to CLAMP and are only borrowed for the fic. The song Sound the bugle is owned by SKG songs.
Author's note:
For those of you who don't know, Kyogoku Midoriko in the fic appeared earlier in the series, under the episode my fair lady.
And to all you guys who are keen to read the story and listen to the song extracts, please go to this site. http://flite.topcities.com/sound_the_bugle.html
Sound the bugle now-play it just for me
As the seasons change-remember how I used to be
Now I can't go on- I can't even start
I've got nothing left, just an empty heart.
// It's all my fault. If I didn't take quite so long to crack the code…then this would never have happened, and Midoriko-san would never have gotten injured.// Nokoru rested his head on his forearms.
He heard the door of the student council open and shut quietly. //Suoh // he realised. Yet he did not raise his head. // Maybe he'll leave me alone if I stay like this. // he thought.
// No such luck.//he sighed inwardly when Suoh coughed the way he did whenever he wanted to get his attention. // Why can't you leave me alone?// he screamed silently.
"Kaichou…" he heard Suoh begin. It was a silent plea, he knew, for his attention.
"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?" Nokoru's muffled voice asked silently.
There was a slight pause, then a firm "No."
Yet the slight hesitation gave Nokoru the break he needed. He got up from his chair, and headed for the door without stopping to look at Suoh.
"Kaichou…" Suoh uttered the title almost hesitantly. // I know I shouldn't question him, but when he's like this…I can't help but worry. I can't just leave him like this! // Suoh felt torn apart. It was evident that Nokoru wanted some time to himself. // Yet what kind of friend will I be to leave him when he's down? //
Casting his hesitation aside, he uttered the single word which he was sure would slow the departing figure. The simple word that was constantly on his mind, the word which had come to mean a friend, the word "Kaichou" which conjured up the image of a certain wheat-coloured hair boy with blue eyes that reflected his moods and thoughts.
As expected, Nokoru hesitated. He waited in front of the door, his back still turned.
"Kaichou…it's not your fault." Suoh said firmly while walking over to the other boy. Resting his hand on the other's shoulder, he felt the other shiver. "Let it out." He stated simply before waiting expectantly for the floodgates to open.
Nokoru's shoulders quivered ever so slightly. The shivering intensified and a strangled sob broke loose. "It's…all my fault, Suoh, it's all my fault…If only I worked faster. If only I wasn't so slow…why couldn't I do it? Why did I take so long? Me, the one who's supposed to be headhunted by NASA couldn't even crack a simple code. It's all my fault…" he said between gasps.
"Kaichou…"
"I was the target. I was the cause of the explosion. But I was not the one who got injured, no, it was Midoriko-san. It should have been me. It's my fault, Suoh. How could I do this to her? I- the founder of the CLAMP school detectives, the one who swore to protect women- caused a lady to be hurt! How could I?!" he asked bitterly.
"Suoh… I'm not worthy to be your one. You should choose another." He stepped away from Suoh.
"Kaichou, we've already gone through this before. You're my one, don't ever forget that." His voice betrayed the emotionless mask that he had donned. It was laced with worry, almost frantic.
"Kaichou, none of this is your fault. You didn't ask to be targeted. You didn't want Midoriko-san to be injured either. There's nothing you could have done! You tried your best. You worked as fast as you could, it was the virus that caused the computer to stall. It wasn't you. You had already done more than anyone else."
Nokoru almost gasped. He breathed in sharply. "But I didn't do enough! I...I couldn't stop it, I couldn't protect her. She still got hurt! And it's still my fault. I could have done something to stop the bomb. I know I could have. I was just slow. I was just too slow!" he burst out, angry with his failure. "So just leave me alone, Suoh. Just leave me alone!" // Please, just leave. I don't want you to get hurt too. Please, just leave. // he pleaded inwardly while appearing angry on the outside.
There was an angry hiss from Suoh. "So that's it? I'm just supposed to be there when you're smiling and all works well, and must leave when trouble arises? I'm not leaving Kaichou. And there's nothing you can do about that. And you're not leaving either." He grabbed Nokoru's wrist and held it tightly, almost possessively.
For an instant, Nokoru was shocked. He had never seen Suoh act like this before. "Suoh?" he asked almost timidly.
"What is it?" His voice had now returned to its normal pitch, and Nokoru could see him flush slightly. Evidently, he was embarrassed by his outburst. Yet strangely enough, Nokoru felt close to tears.
You're a soldier now,
Fighting in a battle.
To be free once more,
Yeah that's worth fighting for.
"Let's nail this guy." He said, determination in his voice. // Thank you so much for being there, for sharing my burden. //
I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if it wasn't very good. I'm still trying to get the hang of it. But I hope you liked it.
Special thanks go to Aishuu Dreamweaver, who gave me a whole lot of advice on the "grammar tricks" and trashing all the unnecessary lyrics. ^_^ Thanks a lot. It helped tons. ^_^