Michonne opened the door just enough to see into the room. She saw Rick sitting at the edge of the bed, his back towards the door. He had Judith in his arms weeping bitterly over her. Michonne opened the door just wide enough to enter into the room and quietly closed the door behind her. Rick never looked up to acknowledge her presence. The pain he was feeling paralyzed him. He couldn't move. He couldn't look away from Judith. Michonne walked over to him and stood in front of him. Judith let out hard and loud cries. She was hungry, she was tired, she needed to sleep. Michonne looked at Judith and then back at Rick, she had never seen Rick so broken.
"Denise said Carl is gonna pull through," she waited for Ricks response but he continued to look at his daughter his tears falling onto her face. "He lost an eye,"she continued," but he's going to live Rick." Rick didn't respond, his facial expression didn't change. Her heart hurt to see him this way and she couldn't restrain her tears. Rick continued to weep looking into Judith's face. Michonne kneeled down in front of Rick, trying to meet his eyes, but Rick would not look away from his screaming child. "Rick, let me feed her and put her in bed, she needs to eat. She needs to rest," she said slowly reaching for Judith. Rick didn't fight Michonne as she took Judith from his arms, but he never moved his eyes, he never looked up, never looked at Michonne. Michonne stood up and gently placed Judith onto her chest, the child's screaming immediately became a soft cry. Michonne left the room and went into the room next door where Carol had left a bottle for Judith. Se held the bottle to Judith's mouth. Judith closed her eyes and drank lying against Michonne's chest. Looking at how innocent this baby girl was broke her heart the more. She kissed Judith's small forehead, and began to slowly walk back and forth as Judith lye against her drinking the milk. Minutes later she felt Judith release the nipple of the bottle from her mouth and looked down to see the child sleep against her. She took Judith into the bedroom and carefully lay her in the middle of the bed, placing pillows around her to insure she wouldn't fall from the bed. She kissed Judith again and left the room.
Michonne walked back to the room she left Rick in. She put her hand on the knob to open the door but hesitated. She knew she couldn't pull him out, she had no words. She couldn't comfort him, she couldn't reassure him, she couldn't tell him everything was alright. Michonne let her hand slide off the knob and she began to walk away. Again she stopped knowing she couldn't leave him alone. With or without words her friend was hurt, he was at his lowest point and she couldn't leave him to endure such afflictions on his own. Michonne turned again and opened the door. His grief was so intense as soon as she caught sight of him her heart broke. Rick sat in the same place she left him an hour ago, his head still bowed. He was so weak right now. She walked over to Rick and stood in front of him again. She hesitantly placed her hands onto his shoulders. He never looking up, took a deep breath,
"I thought it was possible to live behind these walls..." Rick's voice was slow, quiet, "I was wrong." he looked up at Michonne, his eyes were red and swollen, tears fell from his face. "I was wrong," he cried. Rick was defeated. For the first time since knowing Rick, Michonne had never seen him so hopeless. She wanted to speak but she had no words. She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. She gripped his shoulders firmer. She knew it wasn't enough, but it was all she had to give right now. Rick bowed his head again.
"Rick," her voice had finally come to her. "Rick, look at me," she shook his shoulders gently. He looked at her. In his eyes she could see how vulnerable and broken he was. "I'm still with you Rick," she said, her voice was so gentle, "I will do whatever it takes to keep Judith safe. I will do whatever it takes to get Carl through this. I'm with you Rick," her voice broke as she began to cry. She moved her hands from his shoulders to cup his face. His eyes were locked with hers. "I lost my son Rick, I never told you this but I lost my 3 years old son to walkers and I know it hurts Rick...," Michonne's eyes swelled with tears,"...I know it hurts, but your children are still here. They are alive. Carl is recovering." Rick continued to look at Michonne his tears more rapid, "If I could go back Rick," Michonne was overwhelmed by the pain, she moved her hands from Ricks face to her chest, two fingers holding onto her necklace which once belonged to her child, "If I could just go back..." she couldn't finish her sentence. Michonne stepped back and looked away from Rick to gather herself together. She wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and pierced back at Rick who hadn't turned his eyes away.
"Your children are still here Rick, because of you. Yes, Carl is wounded, but he's like you Rick, he's going to pull through." Remaining seated on the edge of the bed, Rick reached his hands around Michonne and pulled her close to him. He pressed his face against her stomach and began to cry audibly. Michonne had never been this close to Rick, her mind told her to pull away but she knew it was wrong. She didn't want to pull away, this was just something she wasn't used to, didn't know how to respond to. She reluctantly rest her arms on Rick's shoulders placing her hands on the back of his head to console him. Rick held her tight, he needed her. He needed her now more than he ever did.
Rick pulled his head back from Michonne's stomach and rest his hands on her waist. He looked deeply in her eyes and stood up on his feet in front of her. Michonne looked back at Rick not sure what was happening or what was coming next. Rick moved his hands from Michonne's waist to cup her face, "I'm sorry about your son," he whispered. His voice sent chills through her causing her to quiver. Rick holding his eye contact with Michonne moved in slowly to kiss her. She pulled her face back to resist. Her eyes left his and fell to the floor.
Rick's face became intensely red. He couldn't believe himself. It was as if he wasn't thinking when he made the move. As if he left himself and had just come back. He felt so foolish. He gripped his head with both hands. "I'm sorry, Michonne, I-I," Rick turned his eyes away from Michonne. He felt so stupid for making such a move on her. What was he doing. Was he trying to ruin this friendship he had with her? Why would he do that?
"Michonne, look at me. Michonne," he said, pain filled his voice. Michonne relunctanly looked back up at Rick, "I'm sorry" he said resting a hand on her shoulder. Michonne stared back at Rick, she knew he meant it. Without thinking she allowed one of her hands to grab the back of his head and pulled his face to hers pressing her lips to his. Rick, astounded, wrapped his arms around Michonne looking at Michonne whose eyes were closed. He didn't know if he should stop it, if this was the wrong move. He felt her warm lips against his and he didn't want to stop it. He closed his eyes and kissed her back.